


Nothing Left Undone

by threeplusfire



Category: Hat Films - Fandom, Pacific Rim (2013), The Yogscast
Genre: Best Friends, Drift Compatibility, Jaegers (Pacific Rim), M/M, Multi, Polyamory, hatsome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-18 19:48:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2360096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threeplusfire/pseuds/threeplusfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of the early methods for testing for drift compatibility was sitting people down in front of an Xbox. The trio of Hat Films leaves their life in Bristol behind to join the Jaeger Academy and fight in the Kaiju War.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the [beautiful art of Boa](http://boaillustration.tumblr.com/post/92666235205/for-busy-matches-pacific-rim-au). Thank you for being the spark that sent me down this path.

Inside a white walled room filled with monitors and the constant hum of equipment, three techs bustled around in their plain scrubs. A wide observation window of one way glass looked into a testing chamber with its vaguely sinister looking chairs and headsets set with an incongruous set of televisions and game consoles. If there weren’t so many security locks and armed soldiers in the halls the place might look a bit like a hospital.

“Would you look at that?” One of the techs brought up a screen with the testing results from the last few potential recruits. She highlighted three names and popped their readings out to run side by side on another monitor.

“Whoa…” A second tech leaned over from his chair, his face scrunched up with surprise. “I’ve never seen that happen. Are you sure it isn’t a bug? That one isn’t a copy of the wrong data?”

“No, I double checked,” the first tech answered crisply. “Made them run a second scan just to be sure. Then I plugged them all in together. Had to hotwire the damn thing to run that way, but the scans worked.” Her short, blunt nails tapped the desk top. The strong American accent made her stand out at the center. Since the United Kingdom was so heavily invested in the Pan Pacific Defense project, they had asked for someone to help them set up a screening program to see if any of their people would qualify in the search for pilots.

“Holy shit.” The male tech leaned back to look around the room. The third tech wandered over, set her mug of tea down and peered at the screen.

“Will you look at that?” the third tech murmured. She flicked screens, watching the patterns of each set. They had only recently started doing the scans in the testing, along with the other matching exercises and personality quizzes.

“But if you plug all three of them in together,” the second tech interrupted. He enlarged the second data feed to take up most of the screen. The blue white lines pulsed on the screen. All three were motionless in front of the display, lights reflected in their glasses and badges.

“Where are they from?”

“Bristol? The intake file is on my desk.”

“Hmm.” The third tech pushed her glasses up with an irritable frown.

“That’s amazing. That’s fucking amazing.”

“How long did they play together?”

“Maybe an hour? They just kept going and I wanted to see what would happen. Apparently they have some kind of job where they play video games for living.” The first tech snorted.

“Battlefield?”

“Yeah I figured that was the best to turn them loose on. They yelled at each other a lot, completely over the top shit. But the scans are amazing.”

“That’s just the way they are over here,” the third tech said in an absent voice as she flipped through the audio and video files taken of the testing. “They all talk like that but it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Has anyone ever seen more than two people sync?”

“Can they even build a Jaeger for three people?”

“No idea, though this stuff changes every month.”

The three of them looked at each other, eyes alternately elated and troubled. The data looped over and over. Three matching patterns chased each other over the screen, eerily similar and  leaping in tandem. It was so unexpected they didn’t quite know what to do.

“We have to tell Command right away,” said the first tech at last. “They’re going to want them.” She wondered if they would regret coming in, those three boys. They were young enough to be her sons. Soldiers always seemed so young to her, even after the bright shiny newness wore off their boots and their eyes.

“It’s only the first evaluation,” the second tech said, trying not to sound excited. “They’ve still got to do more tests-”

“Call Command already and send this through,” the third tech said. She snapped her fingers at the male tech. “Whatever happens to them now isn’t up to us.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Three months earlier, December 2015  
_

Of course Alex Smith had started it. He talked it up, pushed and bullied them on the subject, constantly talking it up. It was the chance of a fucking lifetime, he kept saying. This was the weird science fiction future they had seen in video games and books and movies their entire lives. This was it. How could they not at least see it for themselves? They should act now, before they got too old to be taken seriously.

They practically lived with the thoughts of the other two already. The odds of them being capable of achieving this were good, Alex insisted. If there was anyone in their entire goddamn country it had to be them. Oddly enough, most everyone they knew agreed. It became a running joke around the office.

But Alex wouldn’t let it drop, kept asking. For him it was serious. Any bit of news or rumor about how to get into the screenings, he came to them with it and a whole new round of persuasive arguments. He was obsessed with the Jaeger tech program, spending hours on forums and hunting down every scrap of information he could about it.

Ross Hornby leaned over on his knees. He let the beer bottle dangle from his hand, cold and solid.

“What if one of us doesn’t?” He asked the question none of them had dared to ask before. “What if one of us gets left behind?”

“No,” Alex said with an emphatic shake of his head.

“But it is only two, right?” Chris Trott’s voice was soft. “Two people to share the load. Otherwise your brain burns out your ears.” They looked at each other and looked away. A dull fear buzzed in Ross’ veins under the artificial courage of alcohol and warmth. He couldn’t lie. The thought of being able to pilot a Jaeger was incredible. The announcement about the Jaeger program recruiting was all anyone could talk about for months when it first hit the internet. In the dark days of winter, Alex first tossed the idea out and he’d responded enthusiastically. It was something of a running joke in the online world, especially whenever someone put out videos about a mech game. The games industry was frantically trying to capitalize on both the kaiju interest and everyone’s desperate need for escapism when unbelievable monsters were walking out of the ocean to wreak havoc on the coasts of the Pacific. So they were always talking about it anyway.

Two pilots, one machine. One giant fucking robot. Fighting giant monsters from the ocean. It was a goddamn anime, Ross thought.

“Look,” Alex said finally. He set his glass down a little too hard on the edge of a desk. “We know it is a risk. But this. It’s worth it isn’t it?”

Ross lifted his head, licking his lips and letting his eyes unfocus as his considered it. They were sitting on the sofa in the office. The lights felt too bright, too white and metallic for the middle of the night. It was late, very late. Everyone else had gone home after the livestream. Only a day left of the year. Another Jaeger marched into the sea that morning, all over everyone’s news feeds. A giant machine striding forward to raise its arm in a salute or maybe a warning. They drank toasts to the Jaeger program on the stream. Chat was full of questions about if they would try if they could, intense discussion about which ones of them would be compatible, about everyone really. That came up all the time now, the same way questions did about what headsets and microphones they preferred. It was just the new background noise. During the stream they even played a demo of some new fighting game one of the big studios was pushing out. You could stomp around as a Kaiju or a Jaeger in a half-assed remake of every arcade fighter ever.

He looked first at Chris on his left, then Alex just on the other side of him. Ross could recognize in the way Chris was uncharacteristically silent and the way Alex’s fingers gripped the edge of the sofa that they were unnerved too. It made him breathe a little easier though, knowing it wasn’t just him.

“We could always say Trott’s like a service animal and we need him around,” Ross cracked into the tense silence.

“Oi!” Chris kicked at him. “I am not your dog, Ross and besides they’d have to be bloody desperate to take you for a Jaeger pilot.”

“I can walk across the room without tripping over something, unlike some people.” He faked a cough that was really the auburn haired man’s surname.

“That was one time, one time!” Alex laughed and lifted his arms. “Besides I’m the best shot, they have to take me. I’m just the obvious pick.”

“Mate you’re in a giant robot, not running around with a gun!”

“Haha fuck you Trott, it has guns!”

“Do you think bullets would even work on one of those things?”

“It’s probably rockets or missiles or something.”

“Yeah.” Chris tipped his bottle up, finishing his beer. “Still doesn’t mean you’d be any good at it. This isn’t an Airsoft match mate.”

“Do you think-” Ross stopped himself. His cheeks burned. “I mean what would we do.”

“We stay together, whatever happens,” Chris murmured at last. He squeezed Ross’ arm. “They’ve got to have people doing more than just running around in those mechs. Communications, science, whatever. Someone to tell them where to go or how to get home, right?”

Alex filled up their glasses and they drank a subdued toast to the idea of finding out if they could sign up for the war that wasn’t anything like any war anyone had ever seen before.

* * *

 

 

Ross hadn’t thought much about it as they worked. Just another late night conversation, bullshitting each other and letting Alex run wild on the idea. Busy times, busy for everyone. But then he came in one morning waving a piece of paper and talking loud, fast.

“I booked us a spot to test. Bloody long wait but she said it was the best she could do.”

“Test for what?”

“Jaeger Academy!”

His words made the other two men still, hands paused on their keyboards and mice.

“Shit, really?”

“Yeah.” Alex looked at them, some of his enthusiasm draining as he took in their surprise. “We’re still doing this, right?”

“We are,” Ross agreed. He glanced at Chris on his right with a half smile and a shrug of his shoulders. “When?”

“Got to go to London in a month. They’re setting up to screen people there. Apparently they didn’t anticipate how many Brits would want to try for it. Dumb really, but at least we got a spot.”

“I don’t want to tell anyone about this,” Chris said suddenly. His dark eyes were serious. “You haven’t, have you?”

“Mate I came straight in here as soon as I had the time.” Alex furrowed his brow. “But why?”

“Because I can’t handle the speculation and I don’t want to have five thousand mentions in my Twitter feed. You better believe that will happen.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” The dark haired man nodded slowly and looked over to Alex.

“Okay.”

“Okay. Now sit down and help us finish the build for this trailer. Fucking Kaiju Minecraft pack bullshit. I’m up to my eyeballs in lapis blocks.”

Alex walked over to his desk, tucking the paper back into his pocket. Chris met his eyes from across the room, caught the reassuring look he offered as he picked up his head phones.

* * *

 

 

They linked hands as they stood outside. Across the street a bored man in uniform stood guard at the door to an office tower.

“What was that shitty catchphrase you used in those Destiny videos?”

“Let’s pound?” Ross wondered. “Let’s screw?”

“Guys” Chris rolled his eyes. “We. Are. Not. Having. A. Shitty. Catchphrase.” The full stops were clear as day in his voice.

“But Trott,” Alex mock pouted. “We’re going to be full on fucking anime superheroes in a giant mech!”

“No,” Chris snapped in a low voice. “Fuck you Smith.”

“Trott, you’re ruining my fun,” Alex ground out, jaw clenched.

“Both of you shut up,” Ross said. He squinted at his phone screen, checking the address for the tenth time. “I’m sure this is the right place.”

“Ross look at the bloody walls. The place is covered in recruitment posters. Of course it is the right place.”

“I wonder if I can get one of those,” Alex mused.

“What are you going to do, hang it up in the office?”

“Fuck yeah.” Alex grinned, wide and easy. His unbridled excitement started to crack Chris’ foul mood after the hectic trip into London.

“Let’s get this over with it.” He tugged at the taller men to cross the street.

The day lasted longer than they expected, endless questionnaires and forms plus the completely surreal games section. Hooked up to a couple monitors with sticky cables they sat around playing last year’s version of Battlefield.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Chris muttered.

“Could be worse,” Ross noted. “They could have us running on treadmills or something.”

“Did you know about this?”

“What? No. No clue.” Alex bounced a controller in his hand as the game loaded.

“Fucking ridiculous.”

By the time they got out, feeling a bit subdued by the noncommittal answers of the staff, it was dark. Tired, hungry and in no mood to deal with the train they hunted down a relatively inexpensive place to spend the night. In a bland room near the train station, the three of them sat together on one of the beds half ignoring the television and their phones. Ross and Chris drifted off on either side of Alex without much effort. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the Jaeger tech, trying to backwards engineer ideas and things the people in the testing office let slip. He kept wondering which of them would make it, a bittersweet thought. Sometime after midnight he finally switched off the television. Ross had fallen asleep with his head pillowed on Alex’s leg, so he had to shift him gently up the bed without waking him in order to properly settle down. He listened to their quiet breathing for a long time before he fell into dreams of machines and monsters.

 

* * *

 

 

He looked up, feeling eyes on him and met Ross’ startling blue gaze from the seat across from his own.

“Hey,” Chris acknowledged, pulling the headphones off and turning off his music. “You’re awake.”

“Couldn’t stay asleep.” The dark haired man rolled his head back and forth, stretching. They both glanced at Smith, who snored very quietly in his seat on the train. The light outside was still pale, early morning sunshine chasing them home. The car was mostly empty going this way.

“Someone’s already called,” Chris said softly. “Blocked number. I didn’t answer.”

“They leave a message?” Interest sharpened Ross’ voice.

“Yeah.” Chris leaned his head on the window, staring into the rushing landscape. “They want us.”

“Fuck me.”

“Are you that surprised?”

“Yeah,” Ross shrugged. “We’re just.. just us.”

“Apparently that’s interesting to them.”

“Wait, do they want all of us?”

“Yeah mate. They specifically said all three of us. You’ve probably got a message on your phone. I heard Smith’s buzz.”

“Shit.” Ross swiped at his phone and noticed the icons. “Why didn’t you wake us?”

Chris shrugged and pushed the hair back from his face. Ross watched him for a moment.

“If you don’t want to go, we don’t go.”

“You know he does.”

“He wouldn’t leave you behind. He wouldn’t go without us. You go in with a partner, that’s what the woman said to me. They want people who have these connections. It isn’t something you can train or invent on the spot.”

“You want to go?” Chris asked finally.

“I think so. But only with both of you.” He glanced away, out the window. “I wouldn’t leave you behind.”

“Well, from what it sounds like, we’re stuck with each other.”

“Could be worse, right? Could be stuck with someone like Sips.”

“God, can you imagine what that would be like? No thank you.” Chris shuddered with dramatic horror, exaggerating his expression. Ross laughed and covered his mouth, trying not to wake their third.

“I’d be way more scared to be in Hannah’s head.”

“Maybe, but she’s less likely to try to troll you and get you killed.”

“Are you sure? I get a sort of murder-y vibe from Hannah a lot.”

“Simon,” Chris said after a moment. “Simon’s head.”

“Fuck no.” Ross lengthened the vowels, eyes wide. “All corgis and weird cutesy angry shit in there.”

“Are you sure we even want to be in his head?” They both looked at Alex. “You know how he talks. His brain is probably a mess.”

“My brain is a nice, orderly place.”

“Whatever, you keep telling yourself that Ross.”

Their laughter made Alex stir in his sleep and shift around. His eyes opened to slits and he frowned at them.

“Trying to sleep here.” Alex pulled his hood up and settled his head down on Chris’ shoulder. They regarded him with wry smiles. Chris made a gesture meant to convey resignation, and Ross laughed silently. He stretched a hand out and they bumped fists before lapsing into silence for the rest of the trip home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chris leaned on the fence, looking at the familiar horizon with longing, dread and vague feelings he couldn’t name. Ross was silent. Usually things were the other way round for them. He would brood, and Chris would coax into him into talking. The shorter man’s silences were rare. But he could recognize in the way Chris hunched against the cold and let his fingers linger on the boards that he was scared of what they were about to do.

“We could die.” His voice was thin and quiet.

“Every day we could die. Would you rather die here, or in a hospital, or in a giant robot?”

“I’d rather not at all, thank you.”

“We’re going to get old together, you know. We’ll both have laughter lines and Smith will still have that baby face, no wrinkles at all. I can tell.” Ross stepped closer, put his own hands on the fence. “Remember when we filmed out in that field? You were so filthy I wanted to hose you down in the yard before I let you inside.”

Chris snorted, amused by the memory.

“Me and Smith both. He tried to yank my pants off.”

“And you kicked him so hard that bruise lasted for two weeks. My shirt was ruined.”

They laughed together, remembering the brief melee in the yard. It felt so long ago and flashed like some jerky half forgotten film footage, with a patina of gold in memory. Ross put an arm around Chris’ shoulders.

“Smith is probably right, you know. And they wouldn’t be letting us go all the way to whatever base they are going to take us to if there wasn’t a very good shot that we can really do this.”

“I know.” He sighed and returned Ross’ half hug, arm curling protectively around the taller man’s waist. “I am terrified Ross.”

“Me too.” Ross shrugged. “We’re all fucking scared. But we’re going to do this because we let Smith talk us into signing up and we can’t let him go unsupervised.”

“How that man can be so persuasive is beyond me.”

“All in the wrist,” Ross deadpanned. “And the tongue.” Chris rolled his eyes.

“Why am I friends with you?”

“Because you love us.” Ross laughed again. “Because we’re going to be old and war heroes and never have to buy another drink again and be those men who talk about the good old days. Because we’re going to post a video of us in a goddamn Jaeger and we’ll have the most subscribed channel on YouTube.”

“Oh that’s why we’re doing this.” Chris snorted. He watched the sun going down on the view that had been home for the past few years. He would miss this so much. He wished suddenly they had more time to just be, to just be here together and doing all the stupid shit they loved to do. It made him feel older than he was, the keen edge of regret for time that ran through his fingers like water. He could tell Ross felt it too, in the way he didn’t let go.

“Don’t let me forget,” he said in a soft voice. “Don’t let me forget anything.” Ross pressed a kiss into his hair, fingers tightening on his shoulder.

 

 

* * *

“You’re doing _what_?”

Lewis’ exclamation was loud, ringing out in a way that caused the rest of the room to fall silent around them. The trio of Hat Films stood awkwardly at the center, and people turned from their computers to see if Lewis’ voice portended shock or amusement.

“We skyped this morning with them,” Alex explained.

“They are sending a courier with papers tomorrow.” Chris crossed his arms, flicking his eyes to the rest of the room as people drifted closer.

“I cannot fucking believe it.” Lewis looked up at the three men, an utterly flabbergasted expression on his face. “You?”

“Hey,” Alex said with a slight blush.

“What’s going on?” Hannah asked, pulling her headphones off with a frown.

 _“These fucking guys signed up for the Jaeger program!”_ This time Lewis’ voice detonated in the silence like a grenade and sound poured in to fill the gap. Alex’s hand closed comfortingly on Ross’ wrist as the dark haired man shifted nervously beside him.

“WHAT.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

_“No way!”_

“Oh my god!”

“Jaeger program? As in fighting giant monsters?”

Kim just screamed a little and launched herself towards them. She tried to hug them all at once, slamming herself right into Chris with a burst of laughter.

“Oh my god you guys that’s amazing!!” She bounced up and down, hugging each one of them in turn with a lovable excitement that took some of the edge off the moment. Alex picked her up with one arm so she could kick her feet up in the air with glee.

“Damn son.” Simon just shook his head. “Better you than me.”

“Definitely. Wouldn’t want you stomping around in a giant mech suit.” Chris grinned at him and they high fived.

“So you’re just going?”

“When are you leaving?”

“Where?”

“How long?”

The questions rushed at them, noise swelling. The excitable shouting had drawn in a few people from the hall as well.

“Three weeks,” Ross said, his voice unexpectedly pitching up as he tried to break into the wall of voices.

“We’re going to put up a video,” Alex began. “So you absolutely can’t say anything to anyone yet.”

“Oh holy shit. Holy shit.” Lewis rubbed his face and just stared at them as if the truth was only now sinking into his brain.

“What about your channel?” Simon asked.

“Dunno.” Chris shrugged, shaking the hair out of his face. “Maybe we can make a vlog, make some kind of deal with whoever’s in charge? But I have no idea. We’re going to at least try to get something.”

“Fuck, can you imagine what kind of views you’d get on that?” Turps murmured. “That would be mental.”

“Right?” Alex agreed. He looked excited again.

“We have three weeks,” Ross repeated, a little louder. “We wanted to tell you first…” Something passed over his face, expressions and emotions trying to align themselves. The voices lowered, quieted and the dark haired man steadied himself. His fingers were clenched, the knuckles whitening, and Chris took his other hand unobtrusively.

“We wanted to tell you first,” he said again. “Telling our families over the weekend. Probably put up a video sometime next week. Get everything settled here before... ”

“All three of you are going?” Hannah asked in the pause. “I thought it was only two pilots to a Jaeger.”

“Apparently we’re ‘special’ or something.” Chris gestured, mocking air quotes. “They say all three of us work together so I guess we’re going to tag team this shit or something.”

“I thought you had to be fucking to be able to do this thing,” Duncan said suddenly. “Are you guys fucking?”

 _“Duncan!”_ Kim screeched, rounding on him.

“Jesus Duncan,” Simon laughed. “Have you not figured that out by now?”

“Oh my god,” Hannah moaned and covered her face. “Why would you ask that?”

“What?” Duncan blustered. “It’s a legitimate question!”

Alex started laughing helplessly as Kim swatted Duncan over and over again and they shouted at each other. He leaned forward on Ross, laughing so hard his eyes watered. Lewis finally levered himself up out of his chair and came forward with a hand outstretched.

“You are crazy,” he said solemnly. He shook hands with Chris and Ross and finally the still cackling Alex.

“That’s why you like us though, right?” Chris flashed that million watt smile of his.

“Yeah,” Lewis nodded. He looked over his shoulder, where Hannah was pulling Kim off Duncan. “We’re going to have to throw you a hell of a going away party.”

 

 

* * *

Ross drove home alone, wishing he had one or both of the others to back him up when he broke the news. His family was shocked, the conversation stilted and slightly unreal. Ross played with the dogs and left as soon as possible. He’d thought he would spend the night but instead he found himself driving back home as quick as he dared. At a station halfway back he stopped and called the others, who made a joint trip since their families still lived fairly close by each other. Voice shaking, he tried to sound casual as he cracked open a Red Bull.

“My parents are sort of like Hobbits,” he explained into his mobile phone. “Don’t go looking for trouble and no trouble will find you kind of thing.”

At the other end of the line, Alex laughed.

“How are you so tall then, if your parents are hobbits?”

“Smith that’s not the point- god.” He groaned. But there was some new lightness in his voice as he continued.

“Just saying it is a terrible analogy, mate.”

“Well thanks for being no help at all.”

“Anytime.”

“How’s it going with you?”

“Okay, I guess?” Ross listened to the sound of Alex stepping out somewhere, a door closing. “My mother is pretty upset but I expected that. Trott’s family is excited I think. his brother especially. Better than it could have gone. We’re having a big family dinner with everyone.”

“Yeah.” Ross leaned on his car and wrapped an arm around his waist. His stomach growled, wanting something other than another packet of sweets.

“We’ll be home on Monday, right? Hang on til then.”

“I will.” He clicked off and rubbed at his face.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Slowly they emptied out their place and pared down their lives. Ross had no idea he owned so much stuff. It just seemed to multiply behind his back. Alex found him sitting on the edge of the bed, surround by things dumped haphazardly everywhere and a couple half filled boxes. Ross just stared into some middle distance with a defeated expression.

“Get up.” Alex pulled at him. Ross let himself be dragged up to Alex’s room. It was remarkably organized and tidy in comparison. Distractedly, he examined a stack of paperback books while Alex messed around with something on his computer.

“Alright, come sit.”

“What are we doing?” Ross asked finally.

“Taking a break before you lose your mind, that’s what.” He nudged up the volume as the movie started on one of his big monitors. “This is pointless, violent, kind of weird and funny as hell. You want something to drink?”

“Sure.” Ross sat down on the edge of the bed and watched the opening credits. The auburn haired man was back before they finished, carrying a pair of glasses full of ice and a bottle. He poured them both generous measures of whiskey. Ross made a face but accepted it. Strange times called for men to put aside their preferences and accept drinks when they were offered he reasoned. 

Shoulder to shoulder, they sat on the bed and watched a bizarre American action movie that involved some truly improbably gun play. Alex kept their glasses topped up and about halfway through the movie Ross was curled up on his side with his head in the other man’s lap. When Chris poked his head in, he smiled at the sight. He sat down on the bed just behind Ross and leaned on Alex too.

“Why are you watching this trash?”

“Cause Ross needed a reboot,” Alex answered. He offered the chestnut haired man his glass but Chris shook his head. He ran his fingers through Ross’ hair, rubbing at his scalp.

“Was that a carrot?” Chris frowned skeptically as the credits rolled.

“Yeah.” Alex stretched and glanced down at the man on his lap. “You still there, Ross?”

The dark haired man made a muffled, noncommittal noise. Chris plucked the glass out of his hand before the watery whiskey spilled.

“Let’s just play some Xbox or something. I’m not getting anything more done tonight.” Chris set the glass on Alex’s desk on his way out the door. “I’ll order us a pizza.” Alex sat there another minute or two, but the other man didn’t make any attempt to get up. He leaned forward, trying to see Ross’ face.

“Let's go downstairs.”

“Don’t want to.”

“But pizza. And games.”

“Hmm.” Ross slid one hand under Alex’s knee, locking his hands around his leg. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Mate if you don’t move, I’m going to carry you down over my shoulder.”

Ross snorted at the mental image.

“You’d break both our necks.”

“All the more reason for you to get up and walk yourself.” His fingers traced Ross’ hairline, the curve of his ear. The dark haired man sighed.

“I want to play zombies, not Trials.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Good day!”

_“Good day!”_

“Hello!”

“Damn it Smith-”

“Hello and welcome to a very special vlog!” Chris shouted over the other two. “We have some really exciting news for you today…” The three of them sat on the battered sofa in their office in front of their camera. Chris’ shirt said “KAIJU GROUPIE” in giant blue letters. Alex had charmed someone at the testing facility into giving him a PPDC shirt and Ross had found that one bright blue SuperDry shirt in his laundry.

“So you’ve been asking us for ages if we’d ever do this.” He paused, looking at the camera and smiled. “So we are, finally, and we really hope you’re going to like it.”

“Though it does mean big changes,” Alex interrupted. His smile was wide and he almost bounced in his seat.

“Very big.” Ross raised his eyebrows.

“We’re not talking about Trott’s dick either. That’s still small.”

“For the-” Chris groaned. “Shut up Smith.”

“So. Pretty soon there won’t be any new videos.”

“But don’t worry, because eventually they’ll come back. I hope.”

“Before you start screaming and tweeting at us…”

“I think you’re really going to like this.”

They glanced at each other. Ross on the left, Chris in the center and Alex on the right. They didn’t even have to think sometimes about how they moved in sync. Ross smiled, and squeezed Chris’ hand out of sight of the camera.

“The reason there won’t be any videos,” Alex started to say.

“Is because we’re going to fucking Jaeger Academy, bitches!” Ross shouted.  

“Hell yeah!” Alex looked directly into the camera, overjoyed.

“That’s right,” Chris agreed. “So here’s what’s happening…”

 

 

* * *

 

When the video went live, they had to unplug for a little bit. The notifications crashed Chris’ phone and the YouTube stats went through the roof. Tumblr went into capslock overdrive. The news flashed through their community over every connection. Other YouTubers were posting the link, and the view count soared. Twitter was impossible to read. Even their private accounts filled up with messages. Lewis put Turps on response detail for anyone coming through them with inquiries and armed him with a piece of paper of stock answers to the same five questions everyone asked. Media requests started popping up but they put them off. An interview with one of Kim’s former coworkers, thrilled at the scoop, was scheduled to go up later in the evening. Not that they had ever really adjusted fully to the idea that so many people out there were interested in them and their videos, but the response was beyond what they imagined. When Turps relayed a message from the BBC, Ross put his head down on his desk and started laughing just a tiny bit hysterically. Maybe crying. Chris couldn’t quite tell.

“Guess that’s a no for talking to them right now,” Turps said in a mild voice. He stared askance at the dark haired man cracking up and then glanced at the others.

“Tell them we’ll call them back later, we're not doing any interviews until tomorrow.” Chris was not going to pass up the chance to get on the BBC no matter how funny Ross got about it.

“Right. Well. Back in a bit.” The door closed behind Turps, and Chris thoughtfully switched on the recording light to give them some privacy. Nothing much to record though. They’d cranked out some finishing pieces for their current series and handed the whole lot of it over to Tom and Colin and the editors who promised to get the stuff out. Some things would just be unfinished, but there wasn’t much they could do about that. Chris saved the final vlogs for himself to edit and post. Later he’d get some help sifting through the fan responses so they could do a final Hat Chat Q&A in a couple days. They owed them that at least, given the intensity of the response. The stream would probably crash Twitch at this rate, he thought. Their viewers were going mental. He was kind of excited to see the fan art though. That was always good stuff.

Alex stood by Ross’ desk, rubbing the dark haired man’s back and repeating something in a low voice. He had that gentle, protective expression on his face that Chris had known since they were just kids. Ross’ face was buried in his arms and Chris could see the trembling of his shoulders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The film they're watching is _Shoot 'Em Up_ , a weird and ridiculous thing I recommend if you like black comedy/action movies.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris sold his car for more than he expected and used the money to upgrade their tickets to first class, a ridiculous extravagance he did not regret. The PPDC would take them the rest of the way once they ended up in North America but they didn’t have anyone flying that way for another few weeks out of the United Kingdom. They might as well pretend to be ordinary people for just a little bit longer. Well, ordinary people who could afford to fly first class once in their lives.

“Why are you doing that?” Alex asked, frowning at him over his shoulder.

“This is probably the last commercial flight we’ll take for ages,” the chestnut haired man answered. “If I get eaten by a Kaiju I want to have flown in the good seats at least once. Also do you even remember the last time we flew to America?”

“God that was _terrible_ ,” Ross murmured without looking up from his phone.

“Fair play then. You’d better be upgrading my seat too.”

“No, I’m going to ask them to crate you and store you in the luggage.” Chris clicked on their reservations.

“I want a window seat.”

“You get a window seat and you get a window seat and I get a window seat. Everyone’s a winner!”

“Great game show, mate.”

“You’re going to thank me for this.” Chris typed in his information carefully. “I don’t even need all that leg room but you sure do.”

“Thank you Trott for saving us from cramps and blood clots.” Ross was still messing around on his phone, distracted.

“What are you doing?” Alex turned his attention to the dark haired man leaning against the counter.

“Twitter,” he replied, still scrolling and tapping at his screen.

“It’s never going to let you answer everybody, you know.”

“Yeah,” Ross sighed. “I should at least read them all though.”

Alex shook his head. He moved instead to lean on Chris’ shoulders.

“Get off me,” the shorter man tsked.

“I need you to help me with all the audio equipment.” Alex rubbed his hands down over his arms. “Everything’s all tangled and I don’t know what goes with what anymore.”

“Ross, help him pack all that up.”

“Sorry, what?” The third man looked up from his phone.

“You’re useless,” Chris sighed. “Go help Smith and stop reading Twitter. I’ll be up there in a second.”

 

* * *

It felt more chaotic than when they moved down to Bristol in the first place. Clearing out the house at last, they ended up in a hotel for their final days. It seemed easier than trying to make sure someone collected the last odds and ends after them, and definitely better than sleeping on the floor of an empty place. Alex wandered the empty rooms, gathering up stray scraps of paper and a forgotten cable, a lamp tucked inside a cupboard for some reason. He chewed on the inside of his cheek to try to keep his emotions in check. He was so terribly, wonderfully excited about what was coming and yet, he was knotted up with bittersweet thoughts about leaving this space. This was their home, the place where it all came together, the space they shared for the wildest, most ridiculous time. It hadn’t sunk in that they would never be here again until it was empty. He was alone, waiting for Ross to come back and pick up the last few things. They would crash in a hotel for the next few days. The last days, he remembered. This was actually happening.

Everything that happened in the house swirled in his thoughts. He could see Chris standing in the kitchen, still wearing glasses and drinking out of his favorite mug. Ross sitting on the floor beside the sofa, shouting at the Xbox. The slant of light in his bedroom, late in the morning when someone would come shake him awake. A little dent in the wall by the door where he’d accidentally shoved Chris too hard one night when they were drunk. The place where his bed frame had gouged the plaster from banging too hard into the wall. The way they looked when he found his best friends & partners in everything sleeping on Ross’ bed when he got back from camping. He wished suddenly he’d taken pictures of more of it even if he couldn’t post or share them. He worried he might lose something, forget how Ross looked when he was reading or the way Chris would doze off on his shoulder. Alex ran his fingers over the marks in the walls and tried to remember everything.

"What are you doing up here?" Ross asked twenty minutes later when he found Alex leaning against a bedroom wall.

"Nothing, mate." He smiled and pulled Ross in close to kiss him. It wouldn't hurt to do that at least one more time here.

 

* * *

They had the party in the office because nowhere else could accommodate so many people and the high likelihood of inappropriate behavior. Someone hung streamers and balloons, probably Minty. She always went the extra mile for everyone, Ross thought. He caught her eye and she gave him one of those cheerful smiles bright as a summer sunrise and a raise of her cup. An extraordinary amount of booze lined the tables and one of the Toms was bartending with great flair by the window. Around six everyone had knocked off work and gathered to drink too much and say goodbye. Ross was glad they had another night to recover after this before they got on a plane. The place was packed with people, all their coworkers and friends. Conversations bounced off the walls, and someone’s iPod was blasting something ridiculous and catchy.

“Now is your absolute last chance to snog any of us,” Alex proclaimed to the table in the main room where he sat drinking with a couple others. “Make the most of it people.”

“Smith, stop saying snog,” Ross groaned. “I hate that word.”

“Come on, I’ll lay it down on anyone here.” Alex grinned and turned around. “Or give me a tenner and I’ll snog Ross in front of everyone.” Ross nearly spit out his drink and Alex laughed with delight. It wasn’t often anymore that he could genuinely surprise the other man and he savored it even as Ross glared at him.

“Why are we paying you to do something you’d do anyway?” Hannah snarked. Kim looked from one to the other, a speculative look on her face and the beginnings of a very mischievous look on her face. Ross shook his head at her, mouthing the word ‘no.’

“I’ll give you twenty if you kiss Ross and Trott,” she said decisively and slapped the bills on the table.

“Kim!”

“What?” she looked at Hannah. “Like you’ve never wondered what it looks like.”

“Oh my god.” But the blonde woman was laughing. “I’ll throw in for that alright. Why not?”

“Shit, me too.” Sparkles dug in his pockets.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Ross protested. “You are all perverts.”

“Trott! Come here! We’re about to make some serious money!” Alex shouted over the din. He couldn’t believe they actually took him up on the offer but damned if he wasn’t going through with it now. Even if Ross was probably going to throttle him later for breaking their tacit agreement not to make things obvious in the workplace. Totally worth it.

“What are you yelling about?” Chris appeared, set a mostly empty beer bottle down on the wobbly table.

“Smith has just whored us all out for what, sixty quid?” Ross complained.

“A hundred.” Simon slapped a wad of cash on the table. “And you’d better use your tongue Smith. I want my money’s worth.”

“Oh my god,” Ross choked, going bright pink. Kim squealed and high fived Simon, who smiled the evil little troll smile of his.

“Kiss kiss,” Sparkles crowed.

“Is this what you guys talk about when we’re not around?” Chris raised his eyebrows, the beginnings of a wild grin forming on his face.

“Duh,” Kim laughed. “Well Simon and me anyways. I don’t know about the rest of these jokers.”

“Jesus Christ we could have been raking in easy money all this time. Why did we ever bother making videos?”

Alex stood up to grab Chris by the waist. He held the chestnut haired man and felt a burst of absurd glee for what he was about to do.

“Hello sailor!” Chris whooped. He kicked one foot into the air as Alex dipped him back to kiss him messily. Kim cheered with her fists in the air. Simon’s delighted laughter attracted attention from a few others. Lewis appeared at Hannah’s shoulder and did a double take. The blonde woman laughed and took his hand, holding it to her cheek.

Alex slapped Chris on the back as he swung him back up onto his feet. He bowed with exaggerated flair for their audience. Kim was practically jumping up and down now. Sparkles held a bottle to his forehead and Simon clapped. Behind him, Lewis rolled his eyes and muttered something.

“Your turn, Ross.”

“You ass,” Ross growled under his breath but he smiled affectionately as Alex pulled him in close. “Try that move on me and I’ll knock your feet out from under you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it mate,” Alex whispered as he took Ross’ face in both his hands. He kissed him slow and hard, the joy of it blotting out Kim’s cheers and the sounds of voices in the crowded room. Ross hung onto the other man, fingers tight on the fabric of Alex’s favorite burgundy tshirt.  

“Shit you guys. I always knew you were gay for each other.” Sips stood there with his hands in his pockets, appearing from out of the crowd. He shook Chris’ hand and thumped him hard on the shoulder.

“Sips!” Kim shouted. “Don’t ruin this for me!”

“Have some respect! This is a romantic moment!” Simon couldn’t sustain the serious face, dissolving into laughter again.

Chris snatched the cash off the table and then someone was passing around drinks. Kim and Simon were now trying to bribe Sparkles into kissing someone else from Area 11. Alex kissed the dark haired man on the forehead, and they stared at each other for a few quiet, private seconds. Ross felt Chris’ hand on his back and he joined their embrace.

“Come on,” he said with a little laugh. “What the hell are we going to do with this money?”

“I don’t know but Smith owes me something nice,” Ross grumbled halfheartedly.

“Brand new bit of Superdry before we go, fix you right up. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh shut up.” Ross rolled his eyes and pushed at Alex. “Someone get me another drink.”

 

* * *

“Godspeed,” Lewis said.

They were standing in a quiet stretch of the hallway. Chris looked into the remains of their office space. Most of it was packed, ready to go into a storage unit. Lewis had insisted on covering the cost, saying they didn’t know how long they would be gone and it was pointless to throw everything they had out. Some of the stuff they had given away though, sharing equipment and shiny stuff with their friends. Minty was organizing some charitable raffle with a few of their things, all the funds going to relief efforts in the Pacific for all the poor bastards who had their homes and cities destroyed. Turps was confident some signed merch and a few non essential personal belongings like old headsets would rake in quite a few pounds and do some good, so they happily chucked a full box of stuff in for the raffle.

Mostly Chris would miss those postcards and bits of fanart they had piled on the shelves year after year. They were in a box now, except for a few pieces he tucked into their bags. Everything they could take now rested in their hotel room for the last days - a couple bags, laptops, the odds and ends they couldn’t leave. For Ross it was a ridiculous amount of clothing he probably wouldn’t be able to wear. For Alex, that guitar and for Chris, the expensive camera he bought himself just the past Christmas. The things you want to keep, he mused.

“Thank you,” Chris said finally. “For everything, you know. Having us here.”

“We’re going to miss you.”

“Yeah. Us too.”

“Don’t get yourself killed, alright?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” They toasted, paper streamers drifting past their feet.

 

* * *

Saying goodbye was hard. Harder than anyone of them anticipated. It helped a little that the edge was blunted by the alcohol. They played long rounds of various games in the stream room as people wandered in and out. There was a ridiculous midnight Just Dance marathon with a few people like Turps, Martyn, Minty and Sparkles. Alex wondered if they were ever going to want to play games again, after… well. Who knew. He wasn’t going to think about that now. He was going to have fun. Especially if that meant kicking some ass in some games with his friends.

Sparkles cranked the studio sound up and played the rough demos of the next album, still not quite done. The whole of Area 11 was a little more emotional than usual, talking fast and loud and a bit drunkenly. Alex talked them into singing along with him loudly through all his favorite songs. Parvis and Sparkles spent some time teaching him the basics of the newer stuff they had going on for that third album. By the time they were finished, he’d kissed each one of them because why the hell not. He had promised to kiss anyone who asked after all. Plus when you were kissing someone, you could close your eyes and pretend you didn’t see how hard they were trying not to look sad.

 

* * *

Kim was definitely not as drunk as some people, though she looked as though she wanted to be. She caught Ross in the doorway of the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him.

“Be careful okay. Be careful.” Her voice was muffled, directed right into Ross’ chest.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry.” He set his drink on the counter and took her shoulders in his hands.

“I’m not crying,” Kim sniffled, face stubbornly pressed into Ross’ shirt.

“No, of course not.” Ross curled forward to put his head on top of hers. He felt an unexpected sting of tears in his eyes. “It’s just me.”

“You are so brave. I’m proud of you guys.”

“We haven’t made it yet. They’ll probably send us home after we wreck their equipment. Smith will get us all in trouble and we’ll get kicked out.”

“Shut up Ross, I’m trying to say something nice.”

He laughed and pulled back to look at her. She smiled with wet eyes and smoothed the front of his shirt, bracelets making a faint musical sound.

“Send me a picture,” she pleaded. Her expression was so full of pride and care that it hurt to see. “I want to see you in your uniforms. I’ll put it in my album with my grandfather.”

“Of course,” Ross answered around the lump in his throat.

“It means a lot to me that you’re doing this.”

“Kim-”

“Shh.” She hugged him again. Ross could smell her shampoo, fruity and sweet. It took every bit of self control he could muster not to cry on her then. Ross tried to breathe deeply. One of the Toms passed them by with a nod.

 

* * *

 

It was Simon, strangely enough, who bundled them into a taxi in the early morning light. Everyone was either passed out, gone home, or throwing up somewhere it seemed. Oddly Simon seemed cheerful and wide awake despite the all night rager that left the office a wreck of cups and detritus. They stepped carefully over the members of Area 11 sleeping on the floor in a little pile.

“Don’t forget to write,” he warbled in one of his granny voices. “Wear a jumper when it gets cold. Eat your vegetables.”

“Yes Mum,” Alex groaned as he half carried Chris down the steps. Ross shuffled along behind, squinting and wishing he had some sunglasses. Had he ever even seen this street at 7am? He was pretty sure he hadn’t.

They embraced Simon, glad for his ability to keep up a jolly facade. Ross knew anyone else would have made him lose the self control he kept on a tenuous thread. But Simon was a solid, reassuring presence who slapped them on their backs and pressed a giant box of jaffa cakes into Ross’ hands. He waved until their car was out of sight, still smiling.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very NSFW. No real plot information here.

For the day, someone switched all the icons and banners on their twitter profiles and Youtube to the Hat logo. Kim posted an emotional vlog about sending them off, about the honor of people doing the best they could in dark times, about wars and family. The Area 11 twitter posted a dozen photos from the party, including one where several people mooned the camera that was retweeted more than five hundred times. Sips retweeted that and denied his butt was present for the picture, ensuring hundreds more retweets. Tumblr crashed again under the weight of a suddenly vocal and emotional run of pictures and posts.

Somehow still awake in the morning after the party, Lewis edited up a video hastily assembled from phone footage, some previously recorded messages and the one editor with the presence of mind to film any of the previous night. It was short and simple, a series of clips and pictures and it ended up with the ridiculous group singalong in the studio. In the center of the group, Alex stood a head taller than most everyone with his messy hair and a guitar in his hands.

Simon and Lewis sat there, drinking flat champagne out of paper cups in the empty office while it rendered and uploaded. Neither of them really fancied doing much of anything today.

“People keep asking us to sign up for it.” Simon leaned back in his chair, watching the video tick slowly towards completion. He kicked a stray balloon on the floor.

“Hannah would murder us both if we tried,” Lewis noted. He cocked his head to the side and regarded his best friend. “It would be cool though, wouldn’t it? I bet we could do it.”

“Are you kidding me? We would be the worst. We can’t jump for shit in video games Lewis, much less steer around a giant fucking robot. The world is well and truly fucked the day they put us in a Jaeger.”

“God, you’re right.” They raised their cups to the three ridiculous men of Hat Films. Lewis rubbed at his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose against the headache building there. He sighed and slumped over the desk, only to feel Simon pat him gently on the back.

“They’ll be alright,” he said softly.

“Maniacs,” Lewis declared in a matching tone. He laughed. Lewis and Simon cheered when the video went live and wearily headed home.

 

 

* * *

They crashed hard and slept until the afternoon. Alex splurged on a nice hotel, a step up from the ones they usually inhabited during conventions because who knew when they would get to enjoy that kind of luxury again. He had the feeling Jaeger Academy was going to be about as comfortable as that weekend he spent camping in Poland. Maybe less muddy? Hopefully less muddy anyway. So he wanted a giant soft bed and a big bath tub and all the comforts of home for as long as he could get it.

He woke up, too warm and a little sweaty in the tangle of sheets and bodies. But he didn’t want to move, not with both of his best friends sprawled on either side of him in their ridiculous posh hotel bed with too many pillows. Alex had flopped down still fully dressed hours ago, though someone had helped him out of his boots. His phone still had a bit of a charge and he powered it up with one hand while the other stroked the hair of the man sleeping on his left.

The new video on the main Yogs channel had well over a million views and it was only hours old. He pressed play, and the familiar font rolled over a series of images from the night before. It was cut with farewells from the whole crew, even the people who hadn’t made it down to Bristol for the party. Alex swallowed against the ache in the back of his throat as each person waved and spoke briefly with messages of farewell and encouragement. There was a flash from the party, right after his little stunt with the kissing, of the three of them standing close with their heads together. Then Lewis and Simon, saying goodbye while holding up bottles of champagne and declaring they would be the best English Jaeger pilots ever. Then a crowd shot, everyone crammed into the studio room singing loudly and mostly in time to a medley of songs. Alex didn’t even realize he was crying until he felt a hand brush his cheek and he met Ross’ blue gaze.

“Hey,” he whispered, as Chris still slept with his head tucked into Alex’s side. “It’s going to be alright.”

“I just…” Alex whispered back, voice breaking.

“I know. Me too.” Ross pushed the phone down, silencing the video. He tucked his face to the side of Alex’s and held him. Alex cried very quietly in that way of his and Ross kept his eyes closed because he knew the auburn haired man hated for anyone to see him weep. He just held on, thumb rubbing over the scratch of stubble on his cheek to wipe away stray tears.

“Come with me,” he said softly after Alex had gone still for awhile and the tears stopped. “Trott’s going to sleep longer, he drank way more than he should have.”

“I feel awful.”

“I can fix that.”

Alex gently shifted the other man’s head onto a fat pillow and untangled himself from the bedding. Chris was out solid, his breath steady and deep. Ross rolled to the edge of the bed and pulled the taller man after him. He shed the rest of his wrinkled clothes and blinked in the bright gold and white room.

Cranking the knobs of the enormous walk in shower, the dark haired man pushed Alex in with a gentle hand in the middle of his back.

“You’ll feel better, promise.”

“Get in here,” Alex grumbled until Ross stripped down and joined him. The hot shower turned them both pink. Standing with his face directly under the spray, the auburn haired man let the water fill his mouth and rinse away the stale taste of booze. Alex felt Ross’ deft hands at his shoulders and he let his head drop forward. Bracing himself against the wall he closed his eyes and let Ross knead and prod at the muscles of his back. He had a knack for it, one the other two men appreciated.

“You could go back to bed, get another hour or two of sleep,” Ross said into the long silence. The other man’s back no longer felt like coiled cables under his skin, the muscles unresisting when he dug his thumbs into them.

“Mmm no.” He reached backwards, pulling Ross up close against him. “Want to stay right here.”

Ross let his head rest on the back Alex’s shoulder. He closed his eyes against the water dripping down his face and didn’t think of anything except how warm and content he felt.

****  


“Christ how long have you guys been in here?” Chris waved his way through the steam towards the shower. He’d nursed his headache through a bottle of water and the slightly burnt tasting coffee room service delivered before venturing in search of the others. Now it was just a lingering pressure in the back of his skull and a deep weariness.

“Get in here, Ross is about to start giving out handies,” Alex called.

“I am?”

‘Your dick is poking me right in the ass, Ross.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Chris stepped into the shower with a toothbrush still in his mouth.

“You’re both brushing your teeth before you come near me.” Chris thrust toothbrushes at them with a frown.

“How do you know we didn’t already brush?” Ross asked mildly, accepting one.

“Cause you both have terrible habits that I’m unpleasantly well acquainted with.” He put the other tooth brush into Alex’s hand.

“You’re a fucking princess Trott, the way you carry on…”

“Hygiene, Alex. Hygiene.” Chris made a disapproving face. “Share the damn water before the hotel runs out.” He wedged himself between the other two, sighing in bliss. Ross began his routine all over again, rubbing at the tense lines of the shorter man’s neck with one hand while he chewed on the toothbrush. On his other side, Alex turned around to watch them as he leaned up against the tiles. Ross caught his eye and let his hand slide down Chris’ back. Just as he squeezed the shorter man’s hip, Alex leaned forward to kiss him.

“Teeth,” Chris groaned, trying to push him away.

“Fine.” Alex made a show of brushing while he watched the shorter man lean back into Ross’ touch. “I’ll just watch.”

Chris turned around so he could rest his face against Ross’ chest, arms loose around the other man’s waist. He practically purred as fingers kneaded the stiffness out of his muscles under the shower. So content, he nearly missed the hitch in Ross’ breathing. Then he felt the increase in pressure from the fingers massaging the back of his neck and the tiny sound Ross tried to suppress.

Ross’ eyes were fixed on the man opposite who was washing himself with a lazy grin. Chris looked over his shoulder and winked. His hand slid down between Ross’ legs, startling a yelp from the dark haired man.

“Ross,” he rumbled. “You’re hard.”

“Sorry.” The other man licked his lips, glanced down. “Couldn’t help it.”

“Help him out Trott,” Alex smirked.

“Ross, do you need some… help?” Chris felt the stutter in Ross’ fingers on his back.

“Fuck.” He exhaled.

“Sounds like yes to me.” He nudged Ross’ legs a little wider and went to work with both hands caressing and stroking.

“Come here you.” Ross stretched out an arm to the auburn haired man on the other side of the shower.

Alex closed the gap, pressed up behind Chris and Ross leaned forward to kiss him. But Alex slid around them and Ross made a frustrated sound.

“Just wait,” Alex growled as he moved behind the dark haired man. “How you doing there princess?”

“Great, and you?” The shorter man laughed. He was hungover but that wasn’t going to stop him now. No time to waste, he thought.

“Fantastic.” He nuzzled Ross’ head, teeth on the shell of the other man’s ear in a way he knew sent electric fire through his nerves. Looking down, he watched Chris. One hand palmed his balls and the other slid up and down the length of Ross’ cock. Fingertips traced the ridge of his head, rubbing softly around before he squeezed in a way that ripped moans out of the dark haired man.

“I’m going to-”

“That’s the idea.” Alex covered Ross’ mouth with one hand and touched him everywhere Chris was not already. A hand slid over his chest, thumb brushing a nipple and down over the line of his hip. Under his palm he felt the steady hum of Ross’ whimpers and he listened to Chris’ soft encouragements, eyes half closed in the heat and pleasure of the moment. Alex enjoyed the tell-tale trembling in Ross’ body, the way he clutched at both of them. Ross’ slick skin moved distractingly against his own. He pressed his lips to Ross’ throat, feeling the pulse under his jaw and the long low moan as he came into Chris’ hands. He sagged between them.

“Now I’m a mess,” Chris grumped, amusement in his voice. Come dripped off his fingers and his stomach.

“You’re a dirty boy, Trott.”

“Not so loud,” he winced as Alex’s voice echoed off the tile.

“Earth to Ross.”

“I’m here.”  Ross blinked, coming back to himself. Alex rubbed himself shamelessly against the dark haired man, amused and pleased. Chris ducked himself under the spray to rinse off. He watched Ross and Alex embrace on the other side of the shower, slightly blurred and indistinct. Stepping back through the shower, he wiped the water out of his eyes just in time for Alex to pull him up for a kiss that thankfully tasted of mint toothpaste.

They tumbled back into bed, still dripping. Before Alex could sweep the blankets and sheets out of the way Ross caught him for another kiss. Chris pushed both of them down and knelt on the mattress, smiling at the two of them stretched out on their backs with messy hair and flushed skin.

“I can’t even decide who I want to fuck more,” he chuckled.

“Do him,” Ross said, a fond look on his face as he rolled sideways to look at the auburn haired man beside him. Gently Ross brushed the wet curls off Alex’s forehead as Chris leaned down to kiss him, dragging his teeth over Alex’s bottom lip.

“Sound good to you?” Chris whispered.

“Mmmhmm.” Alex’s answer was to pull him closer, craving the friction and the heat of their bodies against each other in the cool sheets. Chris twined their fingers together and pushed Alex’s hands over his head, moving to straddle his waist. Heat curled inside him and he felt himself stiffening as he shifted over the other man.

Behind him, he felt Ross moving around the edge of the bed. Then Ross’ lips were on the back of his neck, kissing gently down the line of his spine. He lifted Alex’s knees one by one so his feet rested on the edge of the bed. Chris shifted himself up enough to twist and catch Ross with one arm. Blue eyes met brown with wordless understanding. Ross pressed a soft kiss to his temple and let his lips quirk in a half smile.

Alex made an impatient noise, trying to wriggle against the man on top of him. Chris cut his eyes down to look at the auburn haired man.

“Fast, or slow?” he asked, fingers grazing Alex’s chest. He always enjoyed the way the other man would inhale so quickly when fingers brushed his extraordinarily sensitive nipples. He barely pinched one to prompt a little whine.

“Fast,” Alex answered in a plaintive voice. His hands slid up Chris’ thighs and to his cock.

“Ahh, yes. Keep doing that.” He rocked in place as Alex’s hands moved over him.

Behind them, Ross knelt at the side of the bed and poured lube out into his palm. He rubbed his fingers together, warming the slippery, gellid stuff. His other hand stroked the small of Chris’ back, prompting the chestnut haired man to swing himself to one side. They both encouraged Alex to lift his hips up, and Ross bunched the duvet under him in a wedge. He watched Alex and Chris kiss, Chris’ fingers still wrapped around the other man’s cock. That same fond smile crossed his face again.

At the first press of his slick fingers, he felt Alex’s body tense. Ross kept himself still, the barest of pressure until he felt the other man relax against his circling fingertips. He moved one finger inside, enjoying the way the ring of muscle contracted around him. The resistance only encouraged him further. Ross flicked his eyes up and saw Chris watching him. He licked his lips without thinking about it and bent one finger just enough to find the sweet spot that made Alex shudder.

“Get on with it.” Chris’ voice was hoarse. Alex’s hand twisted at an odd angle as he tried to stroke him. His eyes were closed, lip pinned between his teeth.

Ross looked back down as he carefully worked another finger into Alex’s body with practiced ease. The hot, slick muscle gripped him as he spread his fingers and moved them in ways that made the other man cry out in low wordless gasps. Ross realized he was hard all over again. He dragged his lips down the other man’s thigh, resisting the urge to bite. He looked back up to Chris who clambered up and over to him.

“Nice job,” he said into Ross’ ear, letting one hand brush the dark haired man’s erection. Ross bit off his moan as he drew his fingers out of Alex. He slipped out of the way so Chris could take his place between Alex’s legs. Ross curled his wet fingers around Chris’ cock, fingers sliding down over peach soft skin.

Chris put his knee on the bed and pushed Alex’s leg back further as he lined himself up. Ross took up a spot next to the auburn haired man. They kissed, a fierce battle of tongues and lips and teeth. Alex jerked back as Chris sank into him, and Ross kissed the line of his jaw and down to his throat as he lazily stroked his own arousal. Above them, Chris watched Alex’s face with concentration. Staying still while buried deep in the heat of Alex’s body was almost agonizing. Everything in him screamed to move. When those dark blue eyes flickered open, he smiled and rocked experimentally. Alex’s guttural sound of pleasure knifed through him. He drew back and sank again to delight in the way Alex’s body moved against him and the slick heat around his cock.

“Yes,” Alex gasped. One hand clutched at the sheets. With his other arm, he held Ross tight against him by the waist. The dark haired man shifted so he could stroke Alex’s cock, a slow counterpoint to Chris’ quickening thrusts.

 _“Yes, yes, yes.”_ Alex’s eyes closed and he rolled his head from side to side as Chris fucked him harder. His back arched off the bed.

“That’s it love,” he murmured. Ross glanced up at Chris’ flushed face, so focused as he fucked Alex into the mattress. He felt his own cock throb.

“Make him come, Ross.” Chris’ voice was breathy, strained. Wordlessly, Ross increased the speed of his strokes, sucking hard at spot where neck met shoulder and leaving red welts across his throat. Beneath them, Alex shuddered as he felt the white heat of climax obliterate every conscious thought. Come splashed through Ross’ fingers. Alex’s arm tightened painfully around him.

 _“Fuck,”_ Chris moaned. In and out and in and there it was, the crashing intensity of his own orgasm as he felt Alex tremble and sink beneath him. Ross let his own hand drop back to his groin and brought himself off quickly, lips open on the curve of Alex’s shoulder. In the late afternoon light they sprawled along the edge of the bed, sweat and come drying on skin.


	5. Chapter 5

During their last week, Ross gave Kim his car. Hers was falling apart, he didn’t need his and it only made sense he argued. She tried to refuse, until Ross threatened to call Alex into the office to tickle her and stuff the keys into her pockets. Ross let her take him out to lunch instead, and buy him a basketful of chocolate and sweets. They spent half the day out and about just wandering around, talking about nothing in particular. The new girl at the coffee place down the street made a comment about how cute they were together as they were leaving. Kim spoiled the effect by pointing and laughing at Ross all the way out the door.

For days, he walked around with chocolate bars filling the pockets of his hoodies. Alex and Chris teased him mercilessly for a little while, until he snapped with uncharacteristic anger. Slightly mortified, Ross sank into embarrassed silence with headphones jammed on his head for the rest of an afternoon. Later Chris came and hugged him without a word, listening to the faint electronic music leaking from Ross’ headset.

 

* * *

She insisted on taking them all the way to the airport and Ross couldn’t say no. It seemed less of a hassle than the train after all. On the morning she was prepared, with a mix cd full of stuff like Taylor Swift and “Call Me Maybe” and 80’s songs already in the stereo. They sang obnoxiously loudly in the car for most of the trip, acting like kids on the run from school for the day. It kept them from thinking too much about what waited at the end of the road. They ate jaffa cakes and junk food in the car, and Ross tried not to moan about Chris’ habit of dropping crumbs everywhere. Alex and Chris thoughtfully took the back seat and let Ross pick songs out during the drive. He and Kim kept cracking each other up, their conversation full of weird little private jokes.

At the curb Kim hopped out of the car with them to help pull out their bags. They shuffled a bit awkwardly in the moment, no one really wanting to be the first to say goodbye. Heathrow was less busy than usual today so they had some time before someone chased Kim out of the departure lane. She scraped her hair back from her face and looked around.

“Who knows when I’ll get to do this again,” she said with determined cheer and kissed Chris right on the mouth. Alex laughed at the surprised expression on his face.

“Your turn, lean down here you giant.” She snapped her fingers at Alex then, her grin just as wide as his. He set his guitar down and picked her right off the ground for the kiss. Her laughter bubbled out, shiny and joyful in the wind.

“Better not being trying to cop a feel there.” She put her hands on Alex’s shoulders and looked down her nose at him.

“Wouldn’t even dream of it,” Alex said in a serious tone.

“Then why’s your hand on my bum?”

“I was lifting you up!” He laughed again as she swatted him to set her back down on her feet.

“Last but not least,” Kim said to Ross, who chuckled a little nervously and hoped his eyes weren’t red. Mimicking the kiss from the party, she put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him gently. Ross had never ever thought about kissing her. She was one of his favorite people, the friend he would talk to late at night when they traveled to conventions or the one he’d lose to constantly at Nintendo party games. She tasted like lip balm and Coca Cola. 

“Take care of each other,” Kim whispered, eyes very dark and wide.

“We’ll miss you.” Ross put his arms around her, hoping to keep either one of them from crying in the airport departures lane. They hugged for a long time, until Ross let go with an embarrassed smile. He looked back once, to see her wave from the side of the car. Ross tried to burn the image into his memory, a twin to the one of Simon waving goodbye. He didn’t want to forget anything about his friends. He could feel the chocolate bars she’d surreptitiously slipped into his pocket. While Chris checked them in at the counter, Alex rubbed his back silently and Ross was grateful he didn’t have to speak.

 

* * *

Alex thought going west always felt sort of weird and extra out of sync with normal time. Something about crossing the time zones in that direction on a long, long flight.  All the window shades were closed as well, blocking out the remains of the daylight. But he had to admit Chris’ upgrades to their tickets were grand. He raised himself up to peer over the seat back at the chestnut haired man. Chris was out cold, curled over on his side. He looked absurdly young like that, a blanket pulled up around him. Alex watched him breathe for a moment before twisting around to see what Ross was up to in the seat ahead of him. He could never sleep well on the flights and tended to arrive at their destination in a zombie state. They’d pour some caffeine into him and go, but Alex knew he would be miserable for days after a transatlantic crossing.

“What are you doing?” He poked Ross in the shoulder so they other man would take off his headphones. He was hunched over, hands buried in the sleeves of a dark blue hoodie.

“What?”

“I’m bored.”

“There’s a lot of movies…”

“Nah mate. Talk to me.” Alex stepped round the partition. Ross had slid the seat halfway down into a reclining position. “Fold it down so I can sit.”

“There is so not enough room-” he groaned, trying to dissuade the other man.

“Yeah there is, move over.”

They managed to flatten the seat and Alex crammed himself gleefully into the end opposite Ross. It was awkwardly close. Their denim clad knees bumped and Ross snorted a laugh at the absurdity of it. A first class seat on British Air wasn’t exactly meant to accommodate two men over six feet tall in any sort of configuration. He hoped the flight attendants weren’t going to come make a fuss. But the plane was half empty anyways so maybe it wouldn’t matter.

“How are you?” Alex asked seriously.

“Uh, alright?” he shrugged.

“No really.” The auburn haired man took Ross’ hand and laced their fingers together. “You’ve been taking care of the both of us constantly lately and I know this is hard for you too… I saw you crying in the car.”

“Was not.”

“You were mate. I know you and Kim are close. It sucks, leaving everyone…” Alex sighed.

“Yeah.” Ross’ voice was barely audible over the white noise of the engines. He kept his gaze directed down at his lap. Actually saying anything out loud would make it too real, too raw.

“Look at me.” Alex reached forward, trying to put as much care and comfort in his touch as he could summon.

“Just trying not to be as scared as I should be, you know?” Ross tried to laugh, but there was a swirl of anxiety in his pale blue eyes.

“You would be really stupid not to be scared.”

“I know, just. Trying to keep the stiff upper lip.” He did that head tilt Alex knew so well, the half smile that meant he was trying to be reassuring.

“Chris is asleep and I think the flight attendants are busy up there.” He straightened his spine to peer up around the cabin. “This is as alone as we’re going to get for a while yet.” Alex leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead.

“We are not going to do that on the plane.”

“Ugh, I didn’t mean the mile high club you wanker.”

“What then?” Ross asked in a dubious voice.

“Just be scared and freak out, or whatever you need to. I’m right here.”

“Really, no-”

“Ross.” He dragged out the name in a low voice. “Ross.”

“Okay. I’m terrified of what we’re getting into, I miss our friends already, I hate being on a plane and it sucks. Are we done? Good. Fuck off.” The dark haired man irritably pulled his hand back.

“You are such a twat sometimes.”

“You’re a twat.”

“Great comeback there, mate.”

Ross flipped his hood up over his head. Alex frowned, torn between laughing and sighing. A flight attendant passing by did a double take to see them both crouched in the seat. Alex offered her a reassuring smile and mouthed “he’s a bit scared.” She nodded and smiled very sweetly before moving on down the aisle. On the way back, she handed Alex a two tumblers of ice & a pair of tiny bottles with a wink. He offered her a heartfelt, silent thanks as she glided past on noiseless slippers.

“Hey,” he murmured, twisting open a bottle. “Have a drink with me.”

“Ehhhh.”

“Come on, we’re going to toast to our successes and our future.”

“Booze on the plane is a bad idea. Remember the first time we flew to America?”

“Then you’re not going to let me drink all this alone are you?”

“Course not,” the other man sighed. They clinked their glasses together and drank. Ross made a face at the burn of the alcohol, still slightly warm.

“I love you, you know.” Alex reached forward to brush his knuckles down the side of his face. Ross turned his head slightly to kiss them.

“You wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for me,” he said after awhile.

“I wouldn’t be going without you,” Ross shrugged.

“No, I mean you and Chris… you would never have gone to the testing if I hadn’t made you.”

Ross looked up to see the other man watching him with a slightly sad expression.

“I worry a little that you didn’t really want to do this, is all.”

“Does it even matter now?” the dark haired man asked. “We’re here. All that matters is that we stay together.”

“Do you wish we had stayed? Seriously?”

“Some,” Ross admitted. “I am scared. Chris is scared though he’ll never, ever admit that to you. But… I don’t know. We started. We’ll finish it.”

“It’s okay if you’re mad at me.”

“Believe me, I always tell you when I’m mad at you.” He flicked Alex’s knee, a little smile quirking his lips.

“Do you?” Alex laughed. “I recall a couple days when you didn’t speak at all because I-”

“Oh shut up.” He poured the rest of the little bottle and knocked his glasses against Alex’s.

 

* * *

 

 

Back in the forward crew area the flight attendant leaned over to the others with a conspiratorial smirk.

“The one with the ginger beard is sitting in the other tall guy’s seat with him!”

“No way,” hissed one of the other flight attendants.

“They are crammed in there like kids, it’s hysterical.”

“What about the cute one?” the third attendant asked with a little sigh. He put his chin in his hands.

“He’s asleep, sorry Fred.”

“Are they making out yet?” the second attendant asked impatiently. “Cause I would pay to see that.”

“I dropped them a couple bottles of booze, maybe that will help.” They peeked into the cabin, trying to catch sight of the men in the window seats.

“Ten says they at least kiss once.”

“I’m not even taking that bet, you know it’s going to happen.”

One of the pilots unlocked the cabin door and stepped out to use the lavatory. He looked at the cluster of flight attendants staring into first class around the edge of the curtain.

“What are you looking at?”

“Very cute British boys,” Fred sighed.

“Right.” The pilot shook his head.

 

* * *

 

 

At the immigration line in New York, PPDC people met them and guided them out a side door. Their bags turned up in the back of a ridiculous SUV and someone drove them to an airport hotel for the night. In the morning another plane would take them the rest of the way across the continent and north. Chris already dreaded the cold. Sure, spring was happening but what would that even mean so far north? He focused on getting Ross and Alex moving. Alex tended to take the jet lag hard and fall asleep everywhere but he was still relatively okay for now. At least he was moving around independently. Ross looked functional but was actually a million miles away in some alternate head space. Chris kept grabbing him by the elbow to keep him from wandering away or into a wall or just standing still at unfortunate times. Sometimes it took both of them to get him going again.

* * *

 

 

 

A PPDC agent sat across from him, a dark blonde in a slim suit that looked more corporate than military. Tessier had that spooky, cultured English that made her sound like she was from everywhere and nowhere. Chris privately thought she might be from South Africa but he wouldn’t put money on it. Just a hunch. They were sitting in the nearly empty hotel bar, waiting for Chris’ much delayed meal. The other two men were still upstairs, groggy and not much up for any serious conversation. Chris persuaded the agent to come downstairs with him to give the others some privacy and a chance to regain some normality. The bar was sparsely occupied so there was plenty of privacy in a booth.

“Look.” Chris spread his hands over the table top. “We understand that probably 90% of everything is classified or whatever. We’re used to working with a certain degree of restrictions.”

“This goes a bit beyond the sort of confidentiality required in the games industry press I think.”

“Sure, but you’re also putting out stuff about the Jaeger program. It’s hardly a secret.”

“We’d have to have someone approve the content.”

“Which is fine. But I’m telling you, this is an opportunity. Your office told us they were specifically looking at recruiting kids, gamers, for testing for this program. That’s our audience with our Youtube channel. Take a lot at the comments on our last couple videos, or on Reddit, or whatever. I can show you the analytics on the videos, the website traffic, all our social media.”

“It is quite an opportunity.” Tessier raised an eyebrow. “Also for you.”

“The PPDC wants an international audience. We want to give our fans a look at what we’re doing.”

“I’ll talk to the heads of the program, and we’ll see.”

“I worked up some numbers. Also some ideas if you want to do merchandise. We’ll put our cut on that towards the Pacific relief charities, like what we did with the Christmas streams.”

Her lips quirked towards a smile and then her face stilled back into a professional smoothness. A waiter set a plate in front of Chris and slipped away unobtrusively.

“It’s certainly an interesting idea and you’ve clearly put some time into it.”

“I think it’s a smart one, for everyone.” Chris unrolled his napkin and sighed with happiness at his burger. “If you didn’t think it was a good idea, you wouldn’t be talking to me about it.”

Tessier sipped at her water, letting her gaze wander the blandly decorated bar as Chris ate. Her eyes were very light, something less than blue and more grey than winter.

“No one is going to give you an extra time out of your work at the Academy to do this, you realize.” She turned her inscrutable face back on the man opposite her.

“That’s not a problem, we-”

“Listen to me.” Her voice was cool, clipped. “This is the most serious commitment you have ever made in your life. We expect-”

“You don’t need to point out that the bloody world is under siege and people are dying,” Chris interrupted, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. “We fucking know that.”

“Even so,” Tessier replied. “When was the last time you fought anyone for your life?” She raised a neatly groomed eyebrow and stared him down.

* * *

 

 

“What did they say?” Alex asked.

“Odds are good?” Chris shrugged. “I think I made a good case for it anyway.” He was not about to get into how spooky he found Tessier and how much he hoped he wouldn’t have to see much more of her any time soon.

“Not that we really should be worrying about fucking YouTube right now,” Ross began. He trailed off in the middle of his thought.

“Mate, you know you want our channel to be the only one in the world with some legitimate Jaeger content.” Alex sounded amused. He was showered and wearing different clothes. At least one of them was talkative. He ruffled Ross’ hair.

“Well, yeah.” Ross sighed and put his arm back over his eyes. He sprawled out on one of the two beds, bare feet hanging off the edge. He made no effort to get up or eat. Alex tore into the food Chris had brought up after his somewhat unsettling encounter with the PPDC representative taking them to Alaska. Chris described the lackluster bar and the shabby business guys in cheap suits drinking awful beer while watching American football.

“Ross, you need some food.”

“Ummm.”

“Come on, eat something.” Chris bullied him into sitting up and handed him a couple chips.

“These are really salty,” the dark haired man mumbled around a mouthful. He set the container on the bed and flopped back down with a queasy expression.

“Were you guys drinking on the plane?” Chris asked suspiciously. Ross was a little more out of it than usual.

“Nope.” Alex picked up the box and began eating Ross’ food.

“Huh.” Chris squinted at them, unsure if he believed the auburn haired man’s guileless expression.

“I was going to bribe them to look the other way so we could bang in the toilets cause I know you’re into that.”

“Whatever. I’m going to take a shower.”

“I’ll keep an eye on Ross.”

“Make him eat something before he passes out.” Chris sighed and dug through his bag for a toothbrush.


	6. Chapter 6

“Can we get going?”

“I have the feeling it’s all hurry and up wait for now.” Chris hefted his backpack and looked down the hall. They stood there with their bags in the jetway, waiting to get on another plane.  Rather, Chris and Alex stood. Ross was leaning against the wall and slowly sliding towards the floor in steady increments. They’d forced nearly half a pot of coffee down his throat in the pre-dawn darkness but it didn’t seem to be helping much.

Another painfully long flight carried them over the continent, with a brief stop somewhere up in Canada. Chris regretted the first class tickets now. They made the experience of ordinary plane seats extra miserable. Especially when they transferred to a plane belonging to the PPDC for the last leg of the journey. At least they had enough room to spread out some as the plane was mostly empty. His back was starting to ache, so he grumpily claimed a row of seats to himself. Across the aisle, Ross and Alex shared another row, taking turns falling asleep on each other.

Tessier was still there, shadowing their every step. At least she sat a couple rows ahead of them. Chris didn’t want to have her eyes boring into the back of his head for hours. Something about her made his skin crawl. He realized she’d never given her first name. Chris amused himself for fifteen minutes imagining horrible names for her, names she’d never want to use but felt obligated to keep for some family reason. But when he accidentally caught her eye he gave it up. Her stare was unpleasant.

“Hey.” Alex appeared beside his seat, startling Chris out of his reverie.

“Hey.” He sat up a little and shifted over so Alex could slide into his row.

“Feeling okay?”

“Yeah, not too bad.” He sighed with pleasure as Alex’s very warm hand rubbed his shoulders.

“Do you have anything to eat?” the auburn haired man asked hopefully. “Ross ate all my pretzels.”

“Take them.” Chris pushed a packet of airline pretzels at him. Everything tasted weird to him when they were in the air anyway. He was pretty sure it was psychological but it didn’t motivate him to eat much.

“Thanks mate.” Alex grinned and hugged him.

“Ugh, go back to your seat and don’t chew in my ear.”

He ruffled Chris’ hair and slid out of the seat. The chestnut haired man sighed and closed his eyes, trying to zone out and forget how long the flight would take.

 

* * *

At least it was sunny when they hit the ground. Ross leaned his head against the window as the plane rolled down the runway. It was actually pretty beautiful from what he’d seen up in the air. So much green and ocean, at least until you hit the massive concrete and metal sprawl balanced on the edge of the water. He could see a town somewhere beyond the base as well. It looked so ordinary really, aside from the scale of things. An enormous amount of construction churned on one side, the bones of new buildings reaching up into the sky and the ground torn open. Beside him, Alex pressed close as he peered out in hopes of actually seeing a Jaeger. As if they would be looming over everything, big benevolent robot friends. Ross snorted, entertaining himself as he recast their lives as a ridiculous anime. He’d have to email Kim and tell her that. He really, really hoped he was going to be able to find some time to look at his email. Probably not anything else. He doubted he was going to have the time to read Twitter ever again. Or at least for a good long time.

“What are you laughing at mate?”

“Nothing.”

Alex squinted at him and patted his leg with mock seriousness.

“Tell me you’re not going mental after all this flying.”

“I’m fine.” Ross took the other man’s hand and squeezed. “Just ready to be off the plane, yeah?”

“Yeah,” the auburn haired man agreed. He let his head rest briefly against Ross as the plane slowed to a stop. Sunlight fell clear and pale over their laps. Alex yawned and imagined getting to take a shower. A long shower. And food. He hadn’t stopped feeling hungry since they arrived in North America. It seemed to be too early where they were, and too late by his internal clock. He couldn’t remember if it was the same day or not as when they started. Maybe? Alex rolled his shoulders and decided someone would eventually let him know if it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday.

Across the aisle Chris stretched his arms over his head. He watched the other two fondly. He could feel Tessier’s gaze on them as she rose from her own seat but he ignored it.

 

* * *

Once they were on the ground and out of the plane Tessier vanished. Another woman introduced herself, a tall American in uniform.

“Sergeant Caroline Ashpool, also known as your glorified tour guide this afternoon.” Her smile was genuine at least. “The US Marines would like to extend their generous hospitality.”

“Chris Trott.” Chris shook her hand. “Is this an American base?”

“Used to be,” she answered. She shook Ross’ hand next as he shifted his bags around. “Now it’s United Nations or more specifically the Pan Pacific Defense Corp’s base I suppose. But American soil so we get to roll out the welcome wagon for the new kids.”

“Thanks for that.” Chris kicked Alex in the ankle until he remembered his manners enough to shake hands and stop staring around like a wide eyed child. Ashpool winked at Chris’ eye rolling sigh. They followed her into the massive building, the scale just slightly too big around the people inside. A few turns and Ross was lost in the corridors. He couldn’t help but compare it to level design from various games, finding it somehow disappointing. It was a bit like a science fiction base combined with bland modern buildings. There was a lot of concrete and bright lighting. A reassuring lack of dripping pipes, flickering or terrible noises. Everyone appeared so purposeful. It was less loud than he anticipated. No one shouting or running around, no alarms going off - at least not now. He wondered what happened when a kaiju appeared.

“No windows anywhere, it’s like being inside a spaceship or something.” Ross hummed a little nervously under his breath. He wouldn’t say he was claustrophobic but it was unsettling somehow. Not that he had much idea of what he expected any of this to look like.

“There are windows, just not here.” Chris bumped against him as they followed Ashpool down the hallway.

“You lucky boys get to skip the group dorms since you’re coming in hot to trot.” Alex elbowed Chris, trying to hide his smirk. They followed the officer down the hallways, past numerous identical doors. She was a little warmer than Tessier at least. Classically American in her friendliness and gait, with dark skin and tightly braided hair, she swung down the hall at a brisk pace.

“Usually we just stick two to a room,” she said. “But apparently you’re special snowflakes so you all three get to cram in here. It is over crowded down in the dorm right now since they snapped up the latest round of recruits.” She pushed the heavy door inwards.

“Charming,” Ross muttered. It felt a bit like the inside of a shipping container. He wouldn’t be entirely surprised to learn this whole place was welded together out of shipping containers and pre-fab concrete slices. It made him think of this really terrible architecture course for some reason and trying to tell the difference between equally depressing functional concrete buildings. Two sets of bunk beds stood on either side of the long room with a narrow high window at the far end. A little space with a sink and shelving, a mini fridge and doors on either side. Actually, it looked like the most depressing student housing in the world. Depressing student housing built by a closet killer who kept his victims in the basement.

“Don’t knock it,” she said pointedly, catching the look on his face. “Especially since you’ve got your own bathroom and won’t have to share with a hundred eighteen year old red neck shit kickers and weekend warriors like we’ve got right now. These are meant to be pilot quarters, not that we have enough to fill them yet.”

“Why stick us here?” Chris asked, letting his bags drop to the floor.

“All I know is someone thinks you’re real interesting.” She didn’t make that sound good, Ross thought with some unease.

“I’ll be back in about half an hour. Got some bureaucratic bullshit to take care of, and your physical. Get yourself settled in your luxury digs.” Ashpool rapped her knuckles on the door and showed them how to set the access code before she left them alone.

Chris flipped the camera on and panned around the room quickly, catching Alex and Ross exploring. Turning the camera on himself, he made a face before he thumbed the recording off. He wasn’t going to wait around for someone to tell him whether or not he could film. He’d snuck in a few shots already. Though quite a few times he’d stilled the impulse to pick up the camera. The last night in the hotel he’d found the other two already fallen asleep on top of the bedding, Alex curled protectively around Ross. He’d wanted to have some record of that so much it almost hurt. Instead he just watched them for a few minutes, trying to memorize the way they looked.

“Bunk beds,” Alex said with some distaste. They looked at the beds, all metal frames and dark colored blankets and lumpy pillows.

“Who’s going where?” Ross looked a little distressed still. They’d gotten used to sharing beds over the past couple years, switching from one to another as circumstances dictated. It was rare for any of the three of them to sleep alone these days, at least not for more than a single night. Ross had an astonishing ability to fall asleep just about anywhere but of the three of them he was the one who most craved another warm body (or two) beside him.

“I have an idea.” Alex wiggled one bed experimentally. “They aren’t bolted to the floor, she said they had to stick an extra bed in here.”

“So?”

“We can move them.” He shoved one end and the frame screeched over the floor a few inches. “Push them together.”

Chris laughed suddenly.

“That is actually genius Smith.” He moved to the side of the bed and they pushed it all the way across the room until it rested smack up against the other one. Metal screeched over the floor, echoing in the room.

“Do you think they’ll care we’re doing this?” Ross asked dubiously. He dragged their bags to the side.

“We’re special snowflakes Ross.” The shorter man rolled his eyes. “I seriously doubt it.”

“We’ll have to find some way to keep the frames together…” Alex was thinking out loud again, crouching at the foot of the bunks. He dropped to the floor and scooted underneath to peer at the bars of the frame.

“Seriously, you don’t think-”

“Ross.” Chris patted him on the arm. “It’ll be fine, alright? Besides, this place is cold and I’d rather squish myself against you if it means not freezing to death.”

Ross smiled, looking a little relieved. That was a completely shit excuse and they both knew it. He put an arm around the shorter man and they watched Alex fuss with the bed frames until he was sure he could secure them so they wouldn’t shift apart underneath them.

 

* * *

Apparently signing up for Jaeger Academy involved a level of paperwork none of them had ever experienced. Someone in the room made a joke about mortgages but they all shrugged without comprehension. Chris scanned the papers, brows furrowed. He was hoping to see something relating to his proposal in here after all.

The page about wills and executors and next of kin threw them all. In the quiet, Ross tapped his pen almost angrily. He scrawled out Kim’s name and information.

“I guess we can’t put each other down,” Alex said in a strange voice. Chris squeezed his hand reassuringly.

In their last weeks, Lewis pulled them into an office with a lawyer to have a long talk about intellectual property rights and other gritty legal details. It left Chris deeply unsettled to sign all the documents for these hypothetical scenarios he didn’t exactly want to contemplate. This wasn’t making him feel great either.

Fortunately most of the rest of it was just the boring sort of terrible. Ross kept cracking bad jokes about Apple terms of service and iTunes.

"Mate if you make that stupid fucking joke one more time..." Alex clenched his jaw and glared up from underneath the messy fall of his hair.

"What, you're going to make me read all of this again?" Ross snorted. He flicked a paperclip at Alex.

"I'm going to bleed you to death with a thousand paper cuts."

"Both of you shut up," Chris snapped. He clicked the pen in his hand and contemplated which one of them he wanted to throw it at more.

"Oh now you've made Trott mad, he's going to stab you."

The man waiting to collect their paperwork looked back and forth between them as if he was watching a particularly absorbing game of tennis. Chris caught his coolly observant eye and suddenly knew this was probably just another evaluation of some kind. He frowned and dropped his pen.

"Just get it over with alright?" The other two looked at him, catching the subtle change in his voice. They stopped bickering and set to finishing the stack of paperwork as quickly as possible.

 

* * *

 

 

Ashpool brought them down for some kind of physical evaluation. A couple nurses took lots of measurements and some vials of blood before leaving them to change and head down into the training rooms.

They stood in various states of uneasy anticipation in the otherwise empty practice room in t-shirts and joggers. The slightly springy floor made Chris think of karate lessons.

“So we’ve got more triplets.” The instructor looked them over. Gennady Zhukov squinted as if they were hard to see and not standing right in front of him. He was not quite as tall as Alex, but he had a solidity that made him seem so much larger. He wore the same plain shirt and trousers as some of the other people they had seen in the halls instead of a uniform.

“We’ve heard about them.” Alex blurted without thinking. “Uh sir.”

“Some Chinese boys, brothers. Had the woman herself design up a special Jaeger system so all three could run it together.” He cocked his head, observing them. Ross tried not to stare at the scar curving under his chin. It was wide and jagged, like something had nearly taken his head off a long time ago. Otherwise he was not a particularly remarkable looking man with his close cropped hair and grey eyes. Once he saw the scar though, Zhukov seemed much more menacing.

“You’re not brothers though and definitely not street fighters.”

“No sir,” Chris answered, his voice a little dry.

“Hmm.” The instructor swung his hands back and forth at his sides. “Let’s see what we can do with you.”

The next hour was a series of mildly humiliating exercises that left them all sweaty and conscious of their failures. Chris struggled to remember the Bushido lessons more than a decade ago, trying to match the movements in his head to the ones their instructor demonstrated. They were all equally hopeless at some of the other stuff, none of them ever having been in a serious brawl. Alex and Chris were shocked at how fast Ross could sprint though. It might have been their only unqualified success. Well, that and they could all suffer through a minimum of press ups and crunches before their instructor called for them to stop.

“Well,” Zhukov said at last. “I suppose it’s not completely a waste.”

Ross panted, hands on his knees. Alex helped Chris up from the floor, silently mouthing _‘holy fuck’_ to him.

“I’ll see you in the mornings for a little work before your classes. Then regular training in the afternoons with the others. Don’t eat too much for breakfast. If you puke on the floor I’ll be very unhappy.”

He walked off without another word, clearly expecting them to know what to do with themselves now.

“Can’t imagine why anyone would have ever wanted to cut his throat,” Ross wheezed. He was pretty sure he’d pulled a muscle somewhere, functioning on pure terror and adrenaline for the last hour.

“Fuck,” Chris agreed. “That was…”

“Fucking horrible,” Alex finished. “Christ. I want a shower and then I want to eat everything I can get.”

“Let’s see if we can find our way back.” Chris pushed both of them towards the doors.

 

* * *

Dinner was a loud blur. Ross couldn’t remember the names of anyone they spoke with, or even what he ate. He was so damn tired. He couldn’t remember walking back to their room. But he must have, because he was sitting at the table in their room staring at the slice of window and the night outside. Someone turned off the light, softening everything into shadows. Ross let his eyes close.

“Ross.”

“Hmm.”

“Stand up.”

“Eh?”

“You’re not sleeping in your clothes mate. You hate that.” Alex was already trying to help him undress and Ross fumbled along until he was in his boxers.

“Help me, will you?” he directed at the shorter man standing at the foot of the bunk beds Alex had carefully tightened together with Ashpool’s help earlier. She hadn’t even commented on the moved beds when she’d arrived to take them for their physical, just showed up after dinner with a set of fastenings to keep the frames locked together. The unspoken understanding of it made Alex’s throat tighten and he’d given her his most brilliant smile of thanks when it was done.

They managed to manhandle the dark haired man to their makeshift bed. Chris had piled up all the pillows and blankets, trying to mitigate the less than ideal mattresses. It wasn’t terrible, he thought. Well. Maybe a little. But better than he had any right to expect. At least they were here together.

Ross sighed with something like contentment as he laid down between the two men. They had to push at him some to find the best ways to fit in this slightly smaller, awkward space. Chris gave up and decided to just half lay on Ross since he didn’t seem much like he was inclined to move off his back. Alex settled on his side, an arm across Ross’ chest as he pulled blankets up around them. He could feel Chris’ head tucked up on Ross’ shoulder, and let his fingers brush the other man’s face. They twined their fingers together on the third man's chest. Ross was already gone, breathing deep and slow. 


	7. Chapter 7

Ashpool appeared early in the morning, banging on their door not long after their alarm woke them. Ross came out of the shower wrapped in a towel and she whistled, making him blush as he awkwardly tried to dress in a hurry. She also gave them a quick walk through the more exciting places on the way to breakfast, pointing out the construction of the enormous bays meant for future Jaegers. Alex kept her busy with a thousand and one questions. They talked equally fast and Chris plodded behind them with an amused look.

In the noisy, echoing hall full of cafeteria tables Ashpool searched the numerous faces.

“Kat! Jay!” She whistled and two heads popped up at a table not too far away. “Hey. I’m leaving the new guys with you. Show them where to get meals where to pick up their gear, all that jazz?”

“Yes m’am.” Up close they were nearly identical twins. Alex cocked his head to one side, trying to decide if they were girls or boys or maybe one of each. Even after talking to them for fifteen minutes he still couldn’t decide. But they were funny and friendly, and the rest didn’t really matter. They were shorter than even Chris, with spiky blonde streaked hair and tans that made them look like they came out of some commercial for California beaches.

“We have to eat fast,” Chris reminded the other two as they brought their trays to an empty table along with the American twins.

“Why?” Kat asked, buttering toast. The food actually looked pretty decent. Boring, but decent. Alex didn’t care though, as it seemed they would let him eat as much as he wanted.

“Bonus class with the scary Russian,” Alex answered. He watched Ross pick at his food and nudged him under the table.

“Oh that’s awful,” Jay said in a mournful tone. “He made us do a week of extras too when we got here, since we were early. Kat threw up one time and he made her clean the entire practice room with this tiny brush and a bucket.”

“Don’t remind me,” she groaned, shoving her twin halfheartedly. “My asshole brother just stood there and watched.”

“Zhukov warned us about that, the throwing up thing..” Ross picked up a piece of bacon and frowned at it.

“You have to eat something Ross, for god’s sake.” This time Chris nudged him, kicking him in the ankle.

“I don’t want to vomit or clean the floor,” he said uneasily.

“You’ll puke if you go on an empty stomach and that’s worse.” Jay offered him a piece of dry toast, which he accepted with quiet thanks. Alex stole the bacon off his tray, feeling ravenous still. He didn’t want to admit he was excited, even if whatever they were about to do was going to suck.

“What are you doing here?” Kat asked.

“Same thing everyone else is?” Chris answered, making a curious face.

“I mean, you’re English right? You sound English.” Kat buttered more toast. “Pretty safe over there in the Atlantic right? You don’t have to be here.”

“Until something wanders round the end of South America or marches over the continent,” Chris answered.

“Still.” Jay shrugged. “You can still go to the beach without your mom freaking out.”

“I miss surfing,” Kat said with a little sigh. “Even a year after Cabo got wiped, our mom would still get all antsy and freaked out every time we went to the beach.”

“Smith talked us into signing up,” Ross said. His fingers turned the glass of juice around and around.

“So what, you guys are compatible and your buddy came along for the ride to hook up with someone?”

“Not exactly,” Alex smirked. The twins looked at them, dark eyes curious and puzzled. Jay’s eyes widened a fraction before Kat’s and they shared a look.

“Fuck me sideways, are you all three…?”

Chris laughed into his food and Alex nodded. Meanwhile Ross was still picking at breakfast, trying to decide if more toast or juice was a better idea. He spared a glance at them to shrug and smile a little apologetically.

“How the fuck does that even work?” Jay asked.

“No idea,” Alex said with an easy smile.

“Weird,” Kat declared, scrunching up her nose.

“Weirder than identical boy girl twins?” retorted the auburn haired man. “I didn’t know that could even happen.”

“It does when one of you is trans,” Jay said around a mouthful of food. “Kat’s the girl, I’m the boy. One day her boobs will come in and it will be easier to tell us apart. I can’t wait, honestly.” His twin mock punched him in the shoulder, and Alex chuckled.

“Fair enough.” He took the rest of Ross’ breakfast, certain it wasn’t going to get eaten by the dark haired man on his left.

“Our grand plan to be beach bums and surf instructors was kind of derailed by this whole giant monsters coming out of the Pacific thing.” Kat gestured expansively. “We weren’t exactly thinking of college. So when the recruiting office opened up in San Diego we said…”

“What the hell, let’s do this thing,” Jay finished. “Our parents are pissed.”

“Which to be fair has never stopped us from making ill considered choices in the past,” Kat grinned.

“This just happened to be the most spectacular one yet.”

Alex chuckled and Chris glanced at the clock up on the wall.

“Shit, come on you guys.”

“We’ll show you the way, and where to pick up your clothes too. Then you can be as stylish as we are.” Kat sat on the table and pulled a pin up girl pose, one hand flung in the air and the other at her lips, eyes mischievous.

“Trott looks pretty in everything,” Alex said, earning him a glare from the chestnut haired man. “He used to be in a boy band.”

“It was a metal band, you twat. And at least I wasn’t singing hokey country songs and Taylor Swift covers unlike someone here…”  Ross spared an amused glance for the twins, hanging on the banter between the other two men. He wondered how many outright lies Smith would get through before they caught on. That was generally the best part of meeting anyone new.

 

* * *

That early hour of the morning was for some basic, brutal physical training to get them into enough shape for the real stuff in the afternoons with the other recruits. Zhukov made them run until they felt like their hearts might burst and do all sorts of body weight exercises. When Alex made some snarky comment, he ended up doing push ups with Chris trying to balance on his back without falling off or cracking up laughing.  Ross kept his mouth shut, too worried about the possibility of throwing up to say a word. No one threw up and they were all grateful for it.

Then classes, some hours of classes with numerous lecturers. The lecture halls reminded Chris of university, tiers of tables and chairs bolted into swivels arranged around big screens and slender podiums. Science, combat tactics, technical stuff, everything they knew about Kaiju, and most of all the Jaegers themselves. Alex ate it up, probably more knowledgeable than either of them given his obsession with the Jaeger program from the start. He talked nonstop as they walked back to the hall for lunch. Chris was certain half the knowledge they retained had as much to do with their classes as it did with Alex’s constant excited babble. This time they had to remind Alex to eat, because he just kept talking. Ross inhaled his mashed potatoes, suddenly hungry and feeling more awake than he had since they left England. He wondered what Kim was doing, what anyone was doing on the regular world and tried to remember when the last time he read Twitter was. There was a computer lab he would have to find his way back to so he could check his email. He couldn’t remember the last time he went days without reading his email.

During the afternoon training Zhukov cut no one any slack, pitting inexperienced nineteen year old kids against thirty something former police officers. After some instruction in the basics of the techniques they would be studying first, he paired people up seemingly at random.

“First one on the floor loses,” he said simply and folded his hands behind his back.

The first time Chris went up against one of those big men, he ignored the casual smirk of disdain the other man flashed. He was used to anyone and everyone underestimating him because he wasn’t a giant or ripped like some guy who spent all his time in the gym. Chris might have thrown an extra vicious kick to knock the older man down, relishing the surprise on his face and the murmur from the others packed on the edges of the room. Zhukov smiled that scary calm smile of his and just shook his head, clearly amused.

Both Chris and Ross were surprised when Alex lost his round. The auburn haired man didn’t say a word though. Ross lost as well, hesitating just a moment too long. Kat and Jay were fearsomely fast, both them running circles around their sparring partners and managing to win their turns.

“Every day I expect you to do better,” their instructor announced when the last pair cleared the floor. “If not, you can run laps around the base fence and think about why you’re so terrible at fighting.”

Ross privately thought running laps sounded a hell of a lot more preferable. But he kept his mouth shut. Still, Zhukov met his eye and gave him a grim little smile as if he heard the thought.

 

* * *

Two days later, Chris was summoned to an office in a high hallway.

“Global terror doesn’t take a holiday just because of some monsters,” Tessier said with a grim smile. “So we must be extra careful when considering what footage we allow to be seen.” She sat on the other side of the desk from Chris, her suit a deep ultramarine blue today. It made him think of Kaiju blood, no doubt the intention.

“Why take the risk then?” He tried not to fidget.

“Because your security checks come back clean and as you said - everyone wants this. You want it. The PPDC wants it. The world wants it. So you’ll get access, and equipment. On your own time, of course.”

“Suddenly I’m not so sure I like the thought of being your in house star team.”

“I don’t either because quite frankly Mr. Trott I find the three of you a bit too… well.”

“Is this because we’re British, or because we fuck each other?”

Tessier laughed, the smile not reaching her eyes.

“You’ll get your equipment within a day as command has instructed. If there’s any decline in the quality of your work or your performance in training these privileges may be revoked without warning.”

“Anything else?” he asked in an acid voice.

“Do try to keep it tasteful, won’t you?”

Chris had to exert the effort not to slam her door behind him. The nameplate on her door didn’t have her first name either. Just the initial F. He glared at it and fought the urge to scratch something rude into the space. But the hallway was occupied and other doors stood open. He took a deep breath and pushed the rage down. He had what he wanted at least. They would get to make videos. Alex would get to talk about Jaegers and Ross would make terrible jokes and it would be fantastic. He swallowed his unease about Tessier’s obvious dislike of them and headed off to email Lewis a heads up about the channel.

 

* * *

After the evening meal, they had some scant free time before they collapsed into sleep. It was the little things that helped keep them sane in those first days. Ross spent a lot of time slowly working the kinks out of tired muscles and trying not to press too hard on the bruises they all acquired. Alex and Chris both lacked the same skill but they tried their level best to take care of Ross in turn. Alex would settle so Ross could lean on him while they studied, answering questions every time Ross wondered aloud about something he couldn’t quite remember. Chris kept them in drinks, making tea on the little hot plate they’d acquired from Kat and Jay through some underhanded deal. It wasn’t great but it was better than nothing, and worth it for the glad smile Ross would flash and the way he’d close his hands over Chris’ in thanks.

At night they would pile into the lower half of their bunk, tangled together to share warmth. Alex was so grateful for it, needing the comfort of familiar bodies pressed against him in the dark. They all did. They often pushed Ross into the middle of the bed, because he seemed oblivious to the little dip where the mattresses met. He was also willing to let them move him around into whatever sleeping configuration they wanted. Alex tended to curl around his back and Chris would settle with his back to Ross’ chest.

"What's the word for those Russian dolls that all fit together? That's what we're like."

"Ross, shut up and go to sleep." Alex flicked the back of his ear.

Chris smothered his laughter at Ross’ indignant snort and patted the hand on his waist.

 

* * *

“Why are we getting special treatment?” Chris finally asked the one day when he caught sight of Ashpool alone in the hall. “I mean, they sent some people home. You could stick us down with the rest of them.” No one spoke about whatever happened that sent people away. It seemed like some superstitious thing and Chris sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one who crossed the line to ask about it.

“Apparently you had some fancy proposal and they’re letting you have the time and space for that,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “I also heard you’re internet famous or some shit. So you’re doing some public relations thing.”

“Fuck,” Chris said quietly. He felt a little weird about so clearly benefiting from a privilege he felt he didn’t deserve. Especially after comparing himself to some of the other recruits in their classes. There were smarter, faster, stronger people here.

“Don’t stress about it,” she said, not unkindly. “If it helps, most people here are too busy to watch the videos. Everyone thinks they have you on your own because you’re another wonder trio.”

“Well, that makes me feel better.” They shared a grin and she crossed her arms.

“I do have a 16 year old brother at home though,” Ashpool grinned. “He said you’re pretty funny.”

Chris laughed and shook his head.

“Look, the higher ups think you’re interesting. They’ve only ever seen one other set of three people who apparently work like you…”

“The Chinese guys.”

“Yeah. Bad ass motherfuckers.” Ashpool crossed her arms. “China’s making a big deal out of them at home, propaganda campaign like you would not believe even though they’re Hong Kong boys and the mainland still isn’t exactly best buddies with them.”

“Somehow I don’t see us as being the United Kingdom’s poster boys for the war.”

“Maybe not yet.” Ashpool chucked him on the shoulder, the east comforting gesture of an older sister. “But the brass think you’re interesting enough to bring you all the way here. And they’re hard up enough for people good that they’re willing to make accommodations for three so I’d work my ass off for that if I were you. They want you just as bad as you want this.”

* * *

Chris hooked his arms around the necks of the other two, kissing each one on them temple quickly.

“Good day!” he exclaimed and switched off the camera. They’d finally had some time to record a few minutes of chatter for the vlog he was editing up about coming to Jaeger Academy.

“What was that?” Ross narrowed his eyes. “You can’t leave that in.”

“Oh we’re leaving that in,” Chris said firmly.

“Really?” Alex wrinkled his nose. Usually the chestnut haired man was the one taking things out, giving them a hard time for being just a bit too obvious. Usually he harped on Alex’s tendency to be constantly touching one of them.

“Yep,” Chris said as he picked up the camera. “No one’s going to be a homophobic cunt to me and not get it back in spades.”

“Whoa, what did we miss?” The other two turned round to watch the chestnut haired man start ripping the footage onto the hard drive of the new computer wedged into a corner.

“Tessier’s a bigot,” he answered shortly. “I don’t like her.”

“Did she say something?”

Chris turned around to study perturbed expression on Alex’s face.

“Look, I’ll deal with it.”

“Trott, come on.”

“No,” he said firmly. “Do not even Alex Smith because your idea of conflict resolution is not going to work on this.”

“Fine,” he muttered, face still quietly furious. Ross looked over, concern written into his furrowed brow. Chris just shook his head briefly at them both. He would be sure to put as many subtle tells as he could in everything. The kiss was nothing. They’d done sillier, much more outrageous things in the past. He booted up the editing suite and chewed on his lip. Behind him he could hear Ross being ridiculous, distracting Alex from his anger. It was so easy to forget most of the time he had such a temper because it was nothing like the shouting he did when they played games.

An hour or two later, Ross was pulling on his shoulder.

“You need to sleep,” he said quietly. “That will keep.”

“I’m almost -”

“Bed.” His voice was firm, brooking no argument. Ross put his hand on the mouse, saving and closing files before Chris could stop him. Yawning, he let Ross power everything down while he undressed. It was a lot later than he thought it was. Alex was already asleep, stretched over most of the bed.

“Move,” he grunted, shoving at the taller man. Alex lifted a blanket as he shifted from his diagonal sprawl, eyes still closed. Ross pushed Chris onto the bed, ignoring his protests until he was tucked under Alex’s warm arm and a blanket. The welcome heat of Ross against his back made him relax.

Chris smiled in the dark, amused at Ross’ conniving. He briefly considered getting back up but it was rather warm and comfortable sandwiched between the two of them. He could see why Ross was so fond of it. Chris was a restless sleeper though, tending to roll around and he didn’t relish the thought of having to climb over one or the other of them if he needed to get up in the middle of the night.

“Go the fuck to sleep and don’t even think of getting up when I’m out,” Ross muttered. His fingers drummed a beat on Chris’ stomach, slowing as he drifted off.


	8. Chapter 8

A little over a week into the program and they were settling into the routine of it. Despite the intense rigor of the physical training, the actual classes felt like the hardest part. There was just so much to learn, so much information to absorb. Failure was the unspoken worry of every single person in those halls.

They all had their strengths. Ross could see patterns ages before anyone else, teasing out the weird logic in things. Alex could rattle through the technical details of how the war machines worked and fought. Chris was fascinated by the weirdness of Kaiju biology. Usually it all worked together and they would help each other learn through the gaps.

“Please stop talking.”

“No but hear me out-”

“Oh my god, no more.” Ross covered his ears dramatically. “I don’t want to hear anything else about Kaiju blood now.” He was just done. Nothing else would fit in his brain tonight and he didn’t want to hear any of it.

“What about the weapons system?” Alex asked absently from his spot. He was engrossed in reading about weaponization of something Ross couldn’t remember.

“Not that either.” Ross picked up his tablet and tossed it onto the upper bunk where Alex sat. It was fast becoming more of a place to lounge or shuffle through the intense amount of homework they seemed to have every night. Ross was having unpleasant flashbacks to university. The other two seemed to enjoy having massive amounts of information crammed into their heads at every turn. Ross found himself almost looking forward to the physical training just because it meant he wasn’t required to talk or answer questions. He stretched, arms over his head. He’d rather go run five laps around the base than try to memorize one more damn thing. He was done.

“You should really pay more attention, this is importa-” The words cut off with a muffled grunt. Alex lifted his head and peered over to where Chris sat at the table. Ross apparently tried to silence the other man by kissing him.

“Shut up,” Ross said in a weary voice when they broke apart. Chris looked at him, his brown eyes wide and then started to laugh.

“No really, there’s a very acidic quality to - Ross!” He grinned as the dark haired man grabbed him again, his grip firm on Chris’ upper arms. He parted Chris’ lips, deepening the kiss. Alex slid off the bunk and crept up behind them. He spared a half second to regret what he was about to do, enjoying watching the other two kiss. Then Alex began reciting facts and figures about Jaeger combat. Ross groaned and pulled away from Chris’ mouth reluctantly.

“Not you too, for the love of everything.” He twisted around to grab Alex, who danced backwards with a hop. “Smith so help me-”

“You’ll what? Kiss me? Oh I’m scared. So the thing about the first model weapons system was the emphasis on…” He backed up into the bunk, grinning and talking as fast as possible in the face of Ross’ murderous advance. Behind them, Chris laughed and twisted around in his chair to watch. When Ross finally crashed into the auburn haired man, his mouth struck more to the side than he intended. The beard scratched his face and he shifted to bite Alex’s lip hard enough to make him yelp. The taller man spread his fingers through Ross’ hair as they battled for the upper hand.

“Kaiju biology-” Chris appeared just a step behind them to interrupt the rough kiss. Ross snapped backwards, leaving Alex in the lurch.

“No no no.” He slapped one hand over Alex’s mouth and grabbed Chris’ arm. Alex licked his palm, eyes sparkling with amusement.

“You can’t kiss both of us at once,” Chris observed smugly. “So let me tell you about this one thing…” Ross let go of Alex, a slightly frantic look on his face now. But Alex caught him by the arms and held him just inches away from Chris. His fingers wrapped tightly over Ross’ biceps.

“ _Since you seem so eager to use that pretty mouth of yours_ ,” he purred in his seductive, dangerous voice. “ _Maybe we can think of something better for you to do with it_.” Chris’ lips twitched as he repressed a smile, knowing how that voice could get Ross to do just about anything Alex wanted. He watched Ross’ eyes glaze over with distracted lust, listening intently to the low rumble of Alex’s voice in his ear. It was magical how well it worked, like a switch in him flipped from resting to full throttle.

Alex guided him down to his knees between the two of them. Chris never got tired of watching him use that tone to reduce Ross to quivering willingness. It was hot. Chris was glad it didn’t work on him however. It gave Alex such a power trip and the last thing they needed was something for him to hold over both of them.

“No more talking,” the dark haired man gasped, looking up at them.

Chris smoothed his fingers over Ross’ lips and then pushed two into his mouth. Desire flamed in him, watching the other man’s face as he sucked with sudden urgency at the digits pressing down on his tongue. He could feel himself stiffening in the suddenly tense, sexually charged atmosphere.

“Maybe for _you_.” Chris’ voice was a bit cruel as he opened his zip. Slowly, he stroked his cock as he pushed another finger into Ross’ mouth. “I can still talk though and there’s a lot of stuff about Kaiju blood that’s interesting.”

Ross glared up and tried to move back. His muffled protest made Chris grin. But Alex’s knee was in his back and the hands on his head kept him from turning away.

“Oh no, not getting away so easy now.” The taller man stroked the side of Ross’ face and looked over at Chris with deep amusement and desire.

“Ross, you’re going to suck me off and I’m going to talk to you about all the things you should have learned today.” Ross’ teeth scraped against the pads of Chris’ fingers as he switched them for his cock with a little groan. The soft heat of lips on his skin and the first liquid touch of tongue made his breath stick in his throat.

“That’s it,” Alex encouraged. One hand stroked the line of Ross’ throat and the other pushed his head forward to take more of Chris’ length. The smothered sound of frustration and desire made Chris breathe out in a rush and start babbling at random. He wasn't even sure he was making sense. All he could focus on was the heat and pressure of Ross’ mouth moving on him, one hand wrapped around the base of his cock and the other gripping his thigh. He dimly registered Alex was speaking too, but he couldn’t focus on those words any more than he could on his own. Maybe he wasn’t even actually talking anymore. Chris didn’t know. It just felt so good. They hadn’t even had the energy to jerk off recently, much less fuck. Ross’ mouth was hot, sweet pressure as he worked his tongue against the underside of Chris’ cock and around as Alex moved his head back and forth. Chris' hips snapped forward, picking up the pace as he splayed his fingers over the top of Ross’ head. Pleasure spiked through him, hot and blinding as a hand slid down between his legs. With a wordless shout he came, thrusting forward carelessly. Ross’ hands squeezed and Chris’ cry melted into a long, low groan as he felt his climax pulse through him.

Ross sank back onto his heels, bringing a hand up to wipe at his mouth where come shone at his lips.

“ _Damn_.” Chris staggered two steps to the side so he could sit on the edge of the bed. He felt almost light headed from the release. Ross just stared at him, flushed. Alex tilted his head up and back with one hand under his chin.

“My turn,” he announced with his classic smirk of mischief.

“Shut the hell up Smith,” Ross rasped. The taller man shook his head. He was already pulling off his trousers and kicking them away. Naked and aroused, he stood over Ross and held his face gently with both hands.

“ _Show me how good you are_ ,” he encouraged in that deadly voice of his. Chris thought he saw a shiver pass through Ross at the words and then he was kneeling up again. His hands wandered over Alex’s thighs, up and around to squeeze the soft curve of his ass. He licked the head of Alex’s cock, moving his tongue in circles around it before moving to take it as far down as he could manage. The auburn haired man rested his hands lightly on Ross’ shoulders, letting him control the pace. Chris curled over on his side, watching with some fascination as Ross pushed himself, making a small choked sound as he tried to fit all of Alex down his throat. There was a definite quiver to Alex then and one hand gently stroked through Ross’ hair.

“ _Ross_ ,” Alex moaned, barely restraining his hips. Their eyes met, sharing the same intensity as Ross pulled back so his lips were only just barely wrapped around the tip of Alex’s cock. His hands squeezed again, urging Alex’s hips forward and he suddenly understood the desperate look in the kneeling man’s eyes. Alex moaned again and tightened his grip on Ross. His first thrust was shallow, and he felt more than heard the other man’s whimper. Alex picked up his rhythm, fucking Ross’ mouth with a single minded intensity as he stared down at him.

Ross’ eyes fluttered closed, the lines in his forehead smoothing as he gave himself over to Alex’s thrusts. Icy hot waves of desire sped through him, the shiver building up his spine. Alex gasped a warning before he felt himself coming, pressing his fingers hard into Ross’ skin. Stars burst behind his eyelids, pleasure whiting out everything from his conscious mind.

This time when he sat back, Ross coughed as he licked his lips. The taste of both men was strong and bitter in his mouth but familiar as home. A bit dazed, he didn’t quite register Alex’s firm grip pulling him up and over to the bed beside Chris. It wasn’t until they were pulling off his clothes that Ross came back to himself.

Alex kissed him, slow and hard. On his other side, Chris left a trail of lip prints over his collar bone and onto his chest. Ross was aware suddenly of the ache of his own desire and whimpered against Alex’s mouth, hands coming up to grip the men on either side of him.

“Shh, we’re here.” Chris let his forehead rest against Ross’ temple. “Relax.” Alex was kissing his neck now, trying to restrain himself from sucking so hard he left marks that wouldn’t be concealed in their training gear. Their hands roamed over Ross’ chest, dipping down to his stomach and his thighs.

“ _Please_ ,” Ross whimpered again. His teeth worried his lower lip.

“Anything you want,” Alex answered in a quiet voice. “Tell us.”

“I want,” Ross gasped. “You- _both of you_ -”

“Of course,” Chris murmured into his hair, nuzzling him affectionately.

“Kiss me... use your hands.” His breath hitched, uneven as his hands pulled at Chris’ shirt and Alex’s hair.

Chris kissed him then, his mouth soft and careful on Ross’ lips. Alex kissed the side of his face, moving back down his neck again. Two hands slid over his stomach and their fingers curled around his cock. Ross’ hips bucked into the touch, coming off the bed. They stroked him, finding themselves in sync without even thinking about it as they took turns kissing Ross senseless. Eyes closed, he gave himself up to their touch. It didn’t take long for his climax to find him. Ross shook and the other two men pressed close against him as they stroked him to the finish, come warm and slick over their combined fingers. Ross’ cries were quiet, breathy sounds as he came down from that wordless place in his head.

They laid there in a warm tangle, sideways across the bed. Only when he realized that Ross would just fall asleep before long did Chris get up and pad over to their little en suite bathroom to get a damp cloth. He wiped Ross clean, ignoring his halfhearted protest before handing the towel to the third man. He dropped the last of his clothes on the floor. Time enough for that tomorrow, he thought and shut off the lights.

“We’re wrong way over the bed, move.” He pushed on Alex’s shoulder, knowing he could get the taller man to shift Ross even if he was half asleep himself. They were all still stark naked but it didn’t seem to matter much. There was a comfort in being pressed skin to skin, being warm under the slightly rough blankets together. Ross was on his back again, so Chris wriggled himself under his arm to use him as a pillow. Alex curled up against his other side, one arm under the pillow and the other draped across Ross’ waist, one leg resting half on top of Ross. Chris squeezed Alex’s fingers in the dark, listening to Ross’ sleep heavy, unclear mumbling. For a few minutes, it was the happiest he could remember being in weeks. In his ear, Ross’ heart beat pulsed steadily.

 

* * *

Sunday mornings were one of the rare times they had without a schedule. Even Zhukov didn’t torment anyone on Sunday mornings without a serious reason it seemed. From Saturday evening to early afternoon on Sunday, their time was almost entirely their own. Kat and Jay had tried to talk them into coming out with them. Apparently there was some terrible dive bar. They’d begged off for next weekend instead. They had so much stuff to study and work on for their classes. Alex was looking forward to drinking in some terrible small American bar. If they were really lucky there would be bad karaoke.  

Alex woke up first, blinking at the light slanting through their little window. Beside him, Ross snored ever so faintly as he tended to do when he spent the night on his back. Chris was curled over on his side, back to them both. The blanket was tucked all the way up so only his hair was visible, messy and getting long in the back. Alex stretched his legs and pointed his toes, straining away the last bits of sleep. He felt surprisingly rested, good even. So good he wanted to wake the others up, to enjoy this weird little time they had before they went back to the constant work. But he kept quiet, watching the rise and fall of Chris’ back under the blanket. Reluctantly he crawled out of bed to relieve the uncomfortable pressure of his bladder.

Slipping back into the warmth of the blankets, he noted the dark red blotch on Ross’ collar bone. Unable to resist the urge, he leaned forward to kiss it as softly as he could. But when he lifted his head, he found Ross watching him with half open eyes.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Morning,” Ross yawned. His hand came up, the back of it brushing Alex’s cheek in a familiar gesture. He turned and pressed his lips to the back of Ross’ hand.

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” Ross nodded. He tried to stretch without waking Chris, still sleeping with his head on Ross’ arm.

“I just want to stay here all day,” Alex admitted. “God I miss being able to stay in bed all day if I want to.”

“When did we ever get to spend a whole day in bed?”

“We could have though, if we wanted.”

“I guess there was that time we had an extra day in London, during that thing with Microsoft.”

“Oh yeah.” He closed his eyes, tucking himself back against Ross. “Did you know you’re naked?”

“No I had no idea,” Ross said in a shocked whisper.

“You are mate.”

The dark haired man tried not to laugh as Alex’s hand ghosted over his ribs.

“Quit it, he’s still sleeping and he’ll be pissed if we wake him up.”

“Depends on what he wakes up to, eh?”

“Fuck,” Ross chuckled. His voice was still scratchy from sleep. The sound of it made Alex hard.

“You want to?” Alex bounced his eyebrows, mischief in his expression.

“Is that even a serious question?” Ross rolled his eyes.

“Maybe you should wake up Trott then.” Smith took Ross’ hand with his own and moved it to Chris’ hip.

“Our one chance to sleep in and you tossers are up already.” Chris’ voice was muffled by the blanket he held over his face. “Go brush your teeth before you even talk to me.”

Ross rolled over and hugged the chestnut haired man from behind.

“Fucking princess Chris Trott again, always with the tooth brushing.”

“It’s disgusting.”

“Fine.” He climbed out of bed again. “What about you?”

“I’m not moving until I am sure it’s worth my time.”

Alex muttered under his breath on his way into the bathroom. Ross kissed the back of Chris’ neck and his shoulders before following him. Peering around the edge of the blanket he admired the sight of Ross in all his naked glory for a moment before he burrowed back into the fading warmth of the bed. ****

He was fast asleep again when the other other two returned. They stood beside the bed, arms around each other.

“We should probably let him sleep,” Ross said at last.

“I brushed my teeth for nothing,” Alex complained with a mock pout.

“Not for nothing.” Ross kissed the corner of his mouth and twitched his eyebrows.

“Oh?”

“Come take a shower with me.”

They pressed up together under the water, warm and slick. Neither of them could wait long, unsure just exactly how long the hot water would last. Ross pushed Alex against the tiled wall, teeth grazing the line of his jaw and a week’s worth of stubble growing out. Hands moved over each other, pressing fingerprints into flushed skin. They grinned at each other, both of them remembering the time Alex visited Ross and Chris in their student housing and the hasty, ill advised fuck in the bathroom while someone pounded on the door and complained about how long Ross was taking in the shower. They rutted against each other, hands moving hastily on each other. Alex worsened the mark on Ross’ collarbone, biting down and making the dark haired man shout. He yanked at Alex’s hair with one hand, the other urgently jerking him off.

“ _Fuck, Alex_ ,” Ross gasped. Alex leaned forward and kissed him hard, sucking at his lower lip in an attempt to muffle his own sounds. When he came, he pressed his face into Ross’ neck moaning the other man’s name. It undid Ross to hear him like that and he came in a shaky rush with his arm tight around Alex’s waist. They leaned against each other, heads together and letting their breathing slow. Ross kissed Alex's temple.

"God I love you," he said simply.

"I love you too," the auburn haired man replied. "Even if you did come all over me. Again."

Ross snorted, got water in his nose and coughed.

"Same mate, same."

 

* * *

They skipped going down to breakfast, Alex’s desire for laziness touching them all. They didn’t pick up any of the work they abandoned last night either, an unspoken agreement to just pretend for a very short while. The only thing that made it much different from before was that no one was messing around on a phone or a game. Chris snapped a picture of the other two stretched out on their stomachs with their heads together. He knew there was no way they’d let him use it for anything. It was too quiet, too private to share. But he wanted it, a touchstone against the dread he felt way down at the bottom of his thoughts. He settled in the patch of sun on the floor, where he could stretch his legs and look at them. Two sets of blue eyes, different shades but equally warm, watched him. Alex put out his hand, dangling it off the edge of the bed for Chris to take.  On his other side, Ross laid his head on his arms.

A knock disrupted the golden stillness and Alex looked up swiftly.

“Shit, you think we were too loud earlier?” he joked as he rose up and headed towards the door.

“Have you heard anything through these walls?”

He shrugged and pulled open the door to find Kat and Jay standing outside.

“We had to bug Ashpool to find your room, so you owe us.”

“Look at this sweet set up - you guys! We could be drinking in here instead of in that shithole bar. Do you have your own shower? Fuckfaces!” She paced around the room, ignoring the other men.

“Oh my god Kat not so loud,” Jay hissed.

“What are you guys doing here?” Alex asked. On the bed Ross shrugged into a shirt.

“Coming to find you for hangover brunch,” she said with an eye roll.

“Only one person here looks hungover,” Chris noted.

“Yeah well that’s so not my fault.”

“It is your fault when you insist on doing shots.” Jay grimaced and hefted a backpack.

“Whatever.” She waved a hand dismissively at her twin.  “Come on, we have junk food from a convenience store we bought last night. Let’s eat outside. Enjoy the sun.”

The three shared a look. Chris shrugged.

“Alright,” Ross said. “I could do with some outside.”

“What kind of junk food are we talking?” Alex asked as he hunted for his boots.

“Six kinds of potato chips, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Fritos, Gatorade for this hungover loser, some Cokes, powdered sugar doughnuts, ummm... “ Jay tapped a finger on his elbow.

“Starburst,” Kat reminded him. “Those snack cake things you like.”

“God I want a fucking Kinder bar,” Ross said abruptly.

“What’s that?”

Ross just stared at the twins. Chris patted his arm. Alex chuckled.

"It's okay, they're American, they don't have them here."

“Come on then, let’s enjoy the last of the free time we have left.” Kat pivoted and headed out the door.

Chris grabbed the camera just in case, catching Ross’ glance of poorly concealed amusement. The three men followed Kat and Jay down the hall as the twins debated the merits of various potato chip products and flavors.


	9. Chapter 9

Kat and Jay introduced them to a few other people, and they made a few friends in their classes. The group was so varied, such an odd mix of people and ages and experiences. It tended to divide along age though, the younger crowd separating a bit from the older crowd socially. Ross thought it weird. They weren’t all that much older than some of the people at their usual table now in the cafeteria. But he felt so much older and he wasn’t sure why. He wondered if Alex and Chris felt the same.

Still, even the strangeness of their shared experience kept them together. Alex was terribly fond of the twins and their brash, profane ways. They also befriended a developer who gave up a job in some unknown indie studio to come out here, Molly. She was frank about how she probably wouldn’t end up as a Jaeger pilot, but she wanted to work for the PPDC doing something so this was the best way to get into the research center or communications.

A few of them were slotted into Zhukov’s remedial morning classes along with them. Not Kat and Jay, who seemed freakishly fit. They could all tell it was working though. Alex no longer felt like he was going to die if he had to run for more than five minutes.  He was nowhere as fast as Ross, who ran like his life depended on it or he was just afraid of Zhukov catching him. Chris was still by far the best of them, and Alex tried his best not to be annoyed or envious about it. He took the piss pretty hard afterwards though and sometimes Chris looked at him with an expression of clear confusion.

 

* * *

 

 

After days of edits and lost sleep, the video went up, finally. Chris moaned nonstop about the speed of the internet connection and how long it took. But he was full of relief. Tessier had run him ragged on this, constantly checking and re-checking his work to her bizarre and unexplained standards. So many nitpicking little complaints, like removing a couple frames where someone far in the background passed through that Tessier thought shouldn’t be included.

It made Chris furious because it was so obviously a power play, letting him know she held something over him. Nothing was any more than what the PPDC had shown themselves or allowed previous reporters access. Her disdain grew even more marked as they argued about the footage of the three of them. She stopped just short of outright using any crude words but her meaning was clear. Every sign of affection was a battle.

“I just want it to be very clear to you,” she began for what felt like the hundredth time that day alone.

“It is crystal clear to me,” he snapped back as his temper frayed. “You loathe the idea that anyone might think you let some people in here that aren’t 100% straight macho military right?”

“We simply have to be respectful of our host country as well as allies-”

“I don’t care what kind of homophobic nonsense-”

“Mr. Trott that is-”

“Look, either I upload this or I don’t.” His hand twitched, holding the USB drive he’d carted back and forth to her office three times now.

“All I’m trying to make you understand is that you’re going to have to work with us if you want to upload anything.” He chilly smile grated unpleasantly in its insincerity.

“You could be making your own videos,” he said after a steadying breath. “But you want to work with us because we have an established audience and essentially they trust us. If you’re determined to strip our personalities out of here entirely then that falls apart and it is worthless.” Chris bit the inside of his cheek hard, willing his expression to stay as neutral as he could make it. Every muscle in him tensed as she regarded him with a level stare.

 

* * *

After weeks of silence on their channel, the video went off like a bomb. Several of their friends tweeted the link as it went live, boosting the spread of the first video from Jaeger Academy candidates. The PPDC even put out a press statement about the encouraging response of the younger generation towards the war effort and talked briefly about working with them to give a view of just what they would go through. Idly he wondered if Tessier wrote it, or some other person up in that weird hallway that was hallway between being intelligence agents and public relations staff.

There was even some news coverage of it that Chris caught as he flicked through the mentions. That felt weird. Being interviewed that first time by the BBC was still a sort of personal milestone he wouldn’t admit to anyone, even if it was for being dumb enough to go fight monsters in a giant mech and not for his creative skills.

Given the subject matter, he shouldn’t have been surprised by the view count but he was anyway. They hit publish just before bed and woke up to an astronomical, absurd number.

Chris checked the comments coming in at a rapid clip and even logged onto his social media for the first time since they came to Alaska. He tweeted a couple goofy comments, and restrained himself from replying to every single mention. At least from their friends. He gave Lewis a little smiley face though. He’d come through, getting Teutron to work up some truly fantastic art for the channel page and the video thumbnails. He flipped back to tweet some praise for that and signed out again. Rubbing his eyes he thought about how good it would be to collapse right into bed tonight. Ross and Alex had tried to help but he’d shut them out of the edits. He wanted to be absolutely certain everything was right. He also wanted to spare them dealing with Tessier’s hostility. Alex would just get angry and Ross would try to fix it and he just didn’t want to deal. Better if he kept it to himself.

 

* * *

  **  
**

Included in the vlog was a brief bit from lunch one day where Kat and Jay teased Alex about the sparring classes and learning the Bushido moves. They were chuffed with their weird minor place in the internet, even more so when Chris let slip there was already fan art. Kat demanded to see it.

“I wonder if anyone we know at home has seen this,” Jay wondered.

“God I hope so.” Kat smirked and stabbed at her potatoes.

“Are you only hanging out with us for the YouTube views?” Ross teased.

“Yeah dude. I am totally only hanging out with your goofy buddies and you so I can be on YouTube.” She made a face at him and they laughed.

“What’s on YouTube?” Henry interrupted, dropping his tray at the end of the table and sliding down to join them. He was another of their fellow candidates, an absolute technical genius in class. During some intensely dry lecture about the specifics of building the hardware required for the neural bridge, Alex and Henry were usually the first people to interrupt with questions.

Henry was a big, lumbering kid who played football in high school because it was the best way to get out of his little border town in South Texas. His race mattered less on the field, even if he still got called wetback in the locker room and in the halls. No one really tracked that he was smart, except a couple of teachers who could recognize the tightrope a boy starring on the team faced when it came to his grades. Henry graduated near the top of the class with a full ride scholarship to one of the best schools in the state for his ability to catch ball and run other guys into the ground. But he was a lot more interested in science and technology. So when the opportunity came to ditch college ball for Jaeger Academy he didn’t even hesitate. His hometown threw him a parade.

They hadn’t really spoken much about their channel to their new friends and classmates here. All of them felt it might be a little awkward, or that people might treat them like some kind of publicity stunt.

“We made a video for the PPDC about Jaeger Academy for our channel,” Chris explained.

“Oh,” Henry shrugged. “I never watched much YouTube. Except music videos I guess.”

“You are missing out Henry,” Jay remarked.

“What? I see this all day every day. Why do I even need a video?”

“It’s for the people not here, duh.” Kat stole some of Jay’s potatoes.

“Whatever.”

“Well, apparently Henry doesn’t care you’re internet superstars.”

“I wouldn’t call us that,” Ross interrupted.

“I would,” Alex said with one of his grins.

“Cause you’re an arrogant prick,” Jay pointed out.

“You're so mean to me!”

“Hardly,” he snorted. “Besides, you have enough ego to last you.”

Ross and Chris both laughed at the same time, and Alex pulled a face of outraged hurt that was so fake he made himself laugh.

 

* * *

They tumbled into the practice room, its enormous space echoing with their voices. Chris slowed when he caught sight of their instructors. Zhukov stood there, rolling up the sleeves of his jacket. He focused on them with a laser bright intensity, and Chris had the sudden sinking feeling that he’d seen their video already.

“Today, maybe we will do things a little differently,” Zhukov said in a deceptively cheerful voice. Chris tried to catch Alex’s eye but he was whispering something to Kat. Ross had the smarts to look a little nervous before he clamped down on his lips. Chris watched Ross’ fingers curl around his wrist, the skin whitening under the pressure.

“You think you are learning. But really, you aren’t learning fast enough. You aren’t strong enough or smart enough to fight monsters. Not even in your machines.” Zhukov shook his head, as if the idea of fighting inside a mech was tantamount to cheating. From the group of candidates there was some quiet murmuring as they shifted in place. Zhukov counted off some of the students, setting them up in four groups around the room with their own instructors. The other men and women who taught them were tough, but Zhukov ruled the room as the scariest, hardest one. Chris knew his bad feeling was right when they all ended up in Zhukov’s little dozen.

“I think today, we’ll see what you remember. One by one little squirrels, come forth.” He rolled up his sleeves. The smile was gone from his face.  

Jay and Kat shrugged at each other before Jay stepped forward with all the confidence of a twenty one year old kid who didn’t know fear. He sidestepped Zhukov’s first move and they circled each other. When it happened it was fast. Jay was really good, but Zhukov was better.

“Fuck,” Kat breathed out. She punched Alex in the side lightly, making him jump and then she was moving forward in bounding steps to rush their instructor as Jay sat up from the floor. When she leaped for Zhukov, Alex thought it resembled ballet more than fighting for a few seconds. He caught her in the air and they spun around. Kat brought her legs up, trying to lock onto the much larger man. He twisted her around and dropped her under his knee. It went so fast and smooth it looked like they planned it that way. In the sudden silence Kat swore loudly. Zhukov shook his head and rose up to release her. She tried to hook his leg but he just grabbed her and lifted Kat upside down like an errant pet. She rolled as she dropped and bounced up ready to go again, but Jay was there with an arm across her chest.

“Who’s next?” Zhukov asked in a voice unruffled by any emotion or raised breath. From the corner of his eye, Chris saw Ross take a half step back. He wanted to do something for him, but he was certain that any gesture from him to Ross or Alex would only be counterproductive. Meanwhile Alex was chewing on his lower lip with a look of concentration. Others stepped forward to take their chances with the terrifying Russian. None were particularly successful, though one managed to get Zhukov to take some steps back to avoid a flurry of blows. Chris spared a look over his shoulder at the other groups. But then Zhukov was speaking again.

“Why don’t you come here, famous little squirrels?” he called out, a mocking edge to his voice. Alex’s head snapped up and Ross visibly blanched.

“Come,” Zhukov demanded this time. He focused on the tallest of them and there was such a challenge in his dark eyes that Alex stepped forward before the others could.

To his credit, it lasted longer than Chris expected. He winced when Alex took a blow that should have knocked him down and kept fighting. But he was sloppy with his moves, lacking any precision about it and soon enough Zhukov had him on his knees with an arm pulled into an agonizing twist behind his back. Alex didn’t meet his eyes when he stepped back. Behind him Kat and Jay wisely kept their distance.

Chris shared a look with Ross, briefly touching his elbow as he moved forward to take the next spot. He tried to breathe deep as he stepped in front of the much bigger man. Zhukov moved to loom over him.

“Smart squirrels,” he said softly. “Very good at some things. But not everything I think, and you’ll have to learn.” He watched Chris’ face intently. The shorter man furrowed his brow. Zhukov stepped back and settled into the opening stance of the sequence they’d practiced all week. Chris mirrored him. They moved, matching each other in a slow dance of steps around the mat. It was hard not to glance at the others as they circled but he knew taking his eyes off Zhukov was the worst possible thing he could do.

“Do it then,” he breathed out as he broke the pattern to move forward more. The anticipation of it was twanging his nerves. Zhukov tilted his head and moved forward, scary fast as he struck. Chris managed to dodge but it wasn’t elegant. He came up and around, trying to hit Zhukov from behind. But their instructor was expecting it. He dropped and came up from below. Too late the chestnut haired man tried to change course but his footing wasn’t steady enough to give him the leverage he needed. Zhukov’s arm caught him and sent him spinning, almost coming off the mat entirely. Chris tried to turn back around but then Zhukov was on him like a storm, hammering strikes at him until he was down. From the mat he looked up, breathing hard.

“Good,” Zhukov said abruptly and offered him his hand to pull Chris back onto his feet. “At least someone is paying attention.”

Ross watched, fingers still digging into his arm. Chris smiled weakly at him, trying to be encouraging.

“My last squirrel,” Zhukov said in his mild voice. “It is your time.” He beckoned Ross forward. The dark haired man moved with all the side stepping nerves of an animal trying to decide between fight or flight. He tried to stay out of Zhukov’s range, slipping away each time the instructor came close to him.

Alex moved to stand next to Chris. They didn’t look at each other, watching Ross and silently cheering for him.

So far Zhukov hadn’t managed to land a blow. Ross concentrated, trying not to panic. He wasn’t sure he could actually hit him but he knew just dodging wasn’t going to be enough. The next time Zhukov swung out to strike, Ross tried to grab hold of his arm. There was a brief moment where he would swear Zhukov had smiled, a genuinely surprised and amused smile. But then he was jerking his arm out of Ross’ grasp and it all went wrong. Seconds later he was on his back, Zhukov’s hand on his throat holding him in place.

“Fast squirrel,” he commented. He released Ross and patted him on the shoulder before stepping away. Ross let himself breathe again as he rolled to his feet.

“So. None of you are as good as you think you are, or even as good as you should be.” Zhukov crossed his arms. “Let’s go back to the forms we’ve practiced this week. Line up!”

They trained until they were exhausted, Zhukov pushing them with exacting demands for perfection. He corrected the smallest moves, forcing them to repeat themselves over and over. Then he drove them out into the late afternoon light to run from one end of the base to the other.

Ross took off on shaking legs, glad of the chance to do something that required nothing of him other than constant motion and breathing. He outdistanced his friends quickly, running alone and wishing he had his iPod. He thought running would probably be better with some music so he could just lose himself in it. Pushing hard off the ground, the steady rhythm soothed him even as his muscles burned. The wind coming off the ocean dried the sweat on his back as he looped at the end of the runway, far ahead of everyone else. He saw Zhukov on the return as he finished the laps and decided not to stop. He could probably fit in another one and finish with everyone else. Sprinting, he missed the thoughtful look Zhukov’s face as he passed.


	10. Chapter 10

With the computer set up they’d also acquired an internet connection. They were all ecstatic over it. The homesickness was strong, even with their tight little group. Aside from vacations none of them had ever lived outside their home country before. It was another weird little privilege and they avoided mentioning it. Ross tweeted about how tired they were, how terrible American chocolate bars were and didn’t even bother to look at the replies or mentions cluttering up his notifications. He felt a little disconnected from the world but there was no time for it. They did plug in Chris’ laptop that he’d brought along which had Skype and a webcam.

“I can’t believe you have internet.”

“It’s not like we’re on Mars or something.”

“I know,” Kim laughed. “I don’t know what I expected. I imagined you camping in tents and writing postcards.”

“Do you want me to write? My handwriting is terrible. Maybe we can get cheesy tourist postcards in town.”

“I don’t think I have any American postcards? Send me some!” Kim laughed.

He leaned back in the chair, stretching his legs out. The video on screen stuttered briefly, the mug leaping from the corner of the frame to her hand in one blink.

“Honestly the only reason we’ve got this whole setup is because they want us to do the videos as a big public relations thing for the training program.”

“It is pretty crazy.”

“I’ll take it, I don’t even care at this point.”

Kim waved suddenly and Ross looked over his shoulder to see Chris and Alex making faces.

“Fuck off you two, go shower or something.” It was late for them, but early morning for Kim. Dawn was just breaking through her window, shifting the color balance of the laptop webcam she was using. Ross could make out the fuzzy Totoro blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders. He felt so homesick right then. He missed their flat, even when the heating went out. He missed proper tea. He missed everything.

“Can’t stay terribly long, I’m utterly wasted from today.” He smiled a bit sadly at her, his chin in his hand.

“Is it that bad?”

“The classes are tough,” Ross admitted. “If it was just me, I might have bailed.”

“No you wouldn’t,” she disagreed.

“You come get your ass kicked by a Russian guy who has all of Hannah’s scary qualities plus is bigger than Sam and looks like he’s probably murdered a dozen people and then you tell me.”

“Uh, no thanks.” They shared a laugh.

“So you have to send us stuff. Tea. Kinder. Basically everything.”

“One care package coming up! I’ll buy out the whole shop.”

Ross and Kim started debating the merits of various sweets with serious consideration.

From the other end of the room, Alex and Chris shared a look. They’d planned to check in with the office crowd once a week if they could. There wasn’t time to talk to everyone, the way things were. But they’d put everyone else off, even their parents, so Ross could have this little window. Ross hadn’t said anything when Chris asked him about contacting his parents, and he let it drop.

“Kim, we really need him back now.” Alex rested his head on Ross’ and grinned at the screen.

“Yeah, Alex can’t wash himself without assistance,” Chris joked, knowing it would send her into a fit of laughter.

“Oh thanks for that mental image.” She covered her face, giggling.

“Please don’t think about that.” Ross looked pained.

“Go take your shower, you lot. I’ll talk to you again, yeah?”

“Soon - say hi to everyone for us.” Ross waved at her and she blew them a kiss before she clicked off.

“You guys are assholes,” he muttered.

“Hey, my idea was to pull your shirt off so she can admire your developing physique,” Alex said in a cheeky voice as he sauntered back across their room.

Ross opened his mouth, froze and closed it. He waited though, until Alex was undressing for his shower before he casually reached out and pinched a nipple as hard as he could. The auburn haired man screeched and flailed as Ross jumped back with a smug look on his face. Chris stuck his head out of the shower in concern and frowned.

“Very mature Ross.”

The dark haired man just shrugged. Alex clutched his chest with a wounded expression.

“That hurt, you bastard.”

“It was supposed to.”

“He’s being mean to me!” Alex called out.

“Don’t make me come out there…” Chris warned. He disappeared back into the shower.

“Fuck you Ross.”

“Fuck you Smith.”

He was half out of his trousers when he felt Ross’s hand pressed into his back.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“I know,” Alex answered. He reached around to pat him affectionately. It was over already, all the tension dissipating. They never did stay angry very long.

A moment later, Chris shooed Alex into the shower. Out in the room, Ross stood disconsolately at the small table, mostly taken up with the computer equipment. Dressing, he regarded Ross with a crease between his brows.

“You know Smith’s only being his usual awful self,” he said. Ross sighed and turned so he could put an arm around the other man.

“He’s not awful, I’m just… well. Homesick I guess.”

“I know. We all miss people. My parents are going mental, wanting me to call.”

“Yeah, well - I haven’t heard a goddamn thing from my parents.”

“Really?” Chris frowned at that.

“Yeah.” Ross smiled a bitter little smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Fuck,” Chris said succinctly. Ross nodded and Chris leaned on him, trying to think of something reassuring to say. They could hear Alex singing in the shower, enjoying the way his voice bounced off the tiles. Ross put his cheek on the top of Chris’ head and closed his eyes. He tried to breathe in and out slowly to steady himself, but there was a little shake he couldn’t quite disguise. Chris could feel it.

“I love you, and Alex loves you, and you have very good friends.” He rubbed Ross’ back, following the shape of his spine.

“I know,” Ross whispered. “I know.”

“Fuck them anyway if they’re going to be like this,” Chris said in a fierce voice. They stood in silence for a moment, Chris still rubbing his back.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you both.”

“Probably working in a Tesco probably because you never would have made it through uni without me around.”

Ross snorted and Chris could hear the hint of a smile in his voice.

“Good thing I love you because you’re a real fucking wanker sometimes.”

The door to the bath opened and Alex wandered out, toweling himself off and belting out one of his favorite pop songs at top volume.

“Good thing we love him, because he is ridiculous,” Chris said under his breath. They watched Alex sit down still in his towel and pick up his guitar, plucking the strings he kept in tune even if he didn’t play very much lately. He caught something in Chris’ expression and gave an almost imperceptible little nod. The music tripped forward and he started a new song, one much slower than the catchy, upbeat tune from the shower. It spilled out without effort, haunting in its simplicity as his fingers moved on the strings.

“Don’t you dare look out your window darling, everything's on fire... the war outside our door keeps raging on,” he sang. Chris wondered if this choice was a little morbid given their circumstances. But he was glad somehow that their third seemed to have a ready catalog of songs for every occasion. Alex dropped into the chorus and the expression on his face - so much affection that it almost felt too intimate to look directly at him. He glanced up at Ross’ face instead to find him watching Alex and was glad to see the bitter strain gone from his eyes.

“You’ll be alright,” Alex sang.

He smiled then and Ross fell in love all over again with the man singing to him and the one standing at his side.  He closed his eyes against the weight of it, so heavy in his chest that he didn’t breathe for a few seconds.

Chris and Alex shared another glance of understanding, and the shorter man wrapped both arms around Ross. Alex strummed the last of the chords, humming. ****  


* * *

 

 

Four weeks into training, a Kaiju surged up out of the ocean and stomped into Japan. The ringing alarm could be heard through the hall.

“God knows we won’t get anything out of you until this is over.” Their instructor sighed. He leaned on the podium and looked around at the murmuring, restless group.

“You can either return to your bunks or take it to the mess hall. Stay out of everyone else’s way!”

The students bolted up out of their seats in a rush. Alex swore as he stumbled over Chris in his haste to get up and out of his seat. He chased after Kay and Jay towards the hall, with its large screens.

“You coming Ross?” Chris poked him in the shoulder. The dark haired man was still seated, looking down at the table.

“Yeah, sorry.” He gathered up his things, carelessly closing the notebook he’d started taking notes by hand in. It seemed to help him remember things.

“Are they sending a Jaeger from here, you think?”

“No, I’m pretty there’s one in Japan. They have a couple Jaegers there.” They walked side by side, observing the sudden increase in activity. There was an aircraft on the runway outside, taxing slowly. People moved with grim determination in the halls, strangely subdued. Chris suspected all the yelling was happening in the operations center, where they’d have a line straight to Japan and whomever was going to have to fight there.

The hall was loud, crowded with everyone released from their lectures. Ross suspected Zhukov kept all his pupils. Another monster wouldn’t get him to send anyone out early. Someone stood on a table, flipping channels on one of the televisions to get to the live news coverage.

They found Alex sitting at a table with the rest of their friends. Kat was actually sitting on the table, gesturing as she argued with Case about something. Molly, Henry, Jay and a few others were gathered around, staring up at the screens.

The sixth Kaiju attack was guaranteed wall to wall coverage. A banner flashed across the top of the screen as the first reports started hitting the air and newscasters broke into ordinary programming. One channel had helicopter footage.

“It looks like a crab,” Molly said. She was cross legged on the bench next to Alex. “Look at those pinchers.”

“It doesn’t look so big.”

“I think that’s kind of relative? Look at the buildings in the background.”

“Henry heard someone say category two when he was coming down.”

“Still big enough.”

Ross took a seat and pulled out his notebook. He was practicing the origami cranes Case taught him how to fold the other day. Getting the creases sharp and not ripping the paper was the hardest part still. He glanced between the paper and the screens, only half listening to the chatter around him.

“Where’s the Jaeger?”

“Who is in Japan right now? There’s at least one there right now isn’t there?”

“Holy shit, it’s hitting the buildings.” Their group fell silent for a moment as he helicopter tracked the Kaiju’s path out of the water. The buildings nearest it crumpled as the monster surged forward on its four huge legs. Chris tried not to think about how many people must be in there, or the terror in the streets.

“Fuck,” Ross said quietly. On his other side, Case barked out a laugh.

“Onibaba! That’s rich.”

“What?” Jay asked.

“Means demon bitch, or demon hag in Japanese,” Case explained.

“Since when do you speak Japanese?”

“I just played a lot of Japanese video games.” He shrugged. Case was a wiry, nerdy looking kid with glasses. Chris had the feeling “playing video games” barely scratched the surface of whatever Case did before he came here. He was scary smart and singular in his obsessions.

“Christ almighty it is just destroying Tokyo.” Henry wore a grim expression as he watched the news coverage. The helicopters were staying far back from the monster. Just being up in the air was a crazy risky idea. But they could see it smashing through block after block of densely packed buildings. A babble of newscaster voices blurred together from the screens.

“Can you imagine, just being at work and looking out your window to see that headed for you?” Molly asked no one in particular. “I’d be so pissed.”

“We used to sometimes play this game of what we’d do if one came up on the beach while we were out there,” Jay said.

“Swim away?” Chris asked, half sarcastic. Kat leaned over and thumped him on the shoulder with mock ferocity.

“Fuck, look at that tower going down.” Henry’s voice drew their attention back to the screens. One of the super tall office towers of the city was crumpling, bent almost in half. The Kaiju turned, circling round as it trampled through the streets. A pair of fighter jets streaked across the sky. Missiles burst harmlessly against the creature’s high, pointed head.

“Where’s the Jaeger?” Alex asked, his voice tight. “Shouldn’t they be here already?”

“It’s going to flatten everything if they don’t get there soon.”

“Do you think they blast ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ when they deploy? Cause I kind of want to do that.”

“What’s it doing?”

The Kaiju had turned and charged off in a new direction now.

“Shit, here they come.” One of the helicopter cameras was focused on the shining mech and the aircraft towing it into position.

“Fuck, kill that thing!” There were scattered cheers as the news cameras focused on the Jaeger.

“Coyote Tango,” Case said. “Big motherfucking mech. Fast too.”

They watched it crash forward to engage the monster.

“Is it… it looks like it is trying to get away.” Molly frowned, arms wrapped around her knees. “I’ve never seen one do that.”

“Maybe they sent a cowardly Kaiju this time. Guy drew the short straw on the deployment list.”

The Kaiju tried to circle around, scuttling sideways over a freeway. Coyote Tango fired its mortars but they didn’t seem to faze the creature at all. It moved forward to fight up close, arms swinging and grappling with the enormous claws.

There was a collective gasp as the Kaiju’s claw smashed into the head of the Jaeger and pierced the metal by the Conn-Pod. Henry mouthed a silent prayer. Ross sat very still with the paper crane still in his hand, wanting to look away.

“Oh my fucking god,” Kat whispered. The Jaeger stumbled, wrenching itself free in a spray of fragments that winked in the early morning sunlight. The Kaiju backed up and began to circle round on the Jaeger’s damaged side. It was almost like watching someone take a punch and stagger in the ring. Coyote Tango seemed to shake itself, trying to regain balance.

“Are they-” Alex stopped himself.

Coyote Tango moved, fast and furious. It spun around, surprisingly graceful for thousands of pounds of metal. Then it was onto the Kaiju, hammering it over and over with a series of strikes. There were flashes of blue light, painfully bright.

“What the hell is that?”

“That must be the new weapons they’ve been talking about building,” Case interrupted excitedly. “Energy projectiles!”

“Holy shit,” Jay muttered.

The helicopters were pulling back, spooked by the bright lights. Ross wondered how noisy it was for them, if they could hear it over the sound of the helicopter blades.

Coyote Tango was still punching, and another flash of intense blue light blurred the scene. As it cleared and the cameras settled, they could see the Kaiju falling to the ground. Dust and smoke rose everywhere as the Jaeger came to a halt over the fallen monster. Cheering broke out in the dining hall as people leaped to their feet.

 

* * *

Ross bolted up with a shout. His eyes were wide, staring into the darkness. The empty bed on his left sent a spike of panic in his brain and he thrashed to untangle himself from his blanket.

“Ross,” Alex said in a sleepy voice. “Ross, mate.”

“Shit, shit, shit,” the dark haired man repeated over and over in a low voice. He curled up, head on his knees. Chris stumbled back out of the bath. He’d only gotten up a few moments before. But now Ross was awake, or half awake at least and freaking out. In the faint light coming through the window, he could make out Alex up on his elbow. It was sometime in the middle of the night, and he squinted at the numbers on the clock.

“What’s going on?” Chris asked, his voice heavy with concern.

“Think he’s had a nightmare,” Alex answered as the chestnut haired man climbed onto his side of the bed. Between them Ross shook with the last of the adrenaline that woke him, heart racing. He sat up more so he could pull Ross back down.

“What was it?” Chris asked.

“Kaiju,” Ross answered, his voice tight. The dream still felt real, an echo not yet faded upon waking. If he closed his eyes he could see it again, tall enough to block the sun. Nothing between him and the monster, no one else around. Everything felt so slow, each step he took. He knew he should be going forward - he was supposed to fight wasn’t he? All he wanted to do was run, hide. The air was grey and it lumbered forward on impossible legs, eyes burning in the darkness it created. Ross shuddered, the cold sick feeling still in him. He was embarrassed too, waking everyone up like a child with his nightmare.

Chris rubbed at his face and yawned. He wondered if they would dream the same things, after the drift. They laid there in the darkness, silence fraught with tension until Alex moved. His head leaned against Ross’, lips moving against his messy hair as Alex sang softly.

“Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you’ll be alright, no one can hurt you now...”

Ross made a little noise and Chris took his hand. The pressure of fingers over his own, pushing on the tendons and the bones, anchored him. Alex hummed in his ear, repeating the chorus again.

“Come morning light, you and I’ll be safe and sound.”

“Are you singing to me?” Ross asked in a whisper and the auburn haired man chuckled.

“You always ask like it’s never happened before. I can sing you something else, if you’d rather.”

“You’re just going to pick some other terrible song.”

"Hey, that is a great song."

Chris dragged the blankets back over them. Exhaustion pulled his eyes shut.

“Go back to sleep Ross,” he grumbled. His words were undercut by how he snuggled his face into Ross though, arm tight around him. He could hear Alex on the other side, humming still as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Alex is singing is "Safe & Sound" by Taylor Swift, featuring The Civil Wars.


	11. Chapter 11

Alex tried to get at least one picture that wasn’t tilted, cutting someone off or hopelessly blurry. They’d decided to do it outside, where you could see some of the landscape of the test range. If you managed to avoid the pits and scars in the ground and focused just on the line of trees in the distance, it was quite pretty. They were wearing their training clothes and trying not to squint in the sunlight. Alex was the only one who actually brought sunglasses.

“What are you guys doing?” Kat asked when she came across them.

“Trying to get all three of us in the same picture,” Alex groused. “Why am I doing this again?”

“Because you have long arms,” Chris repeated for the fifth time. “How hard is it to take a not shit picture?”

“If you weren’t so short-”

“Shut the fuck up Smith.”

“Guys-”

“Oh let me do it.” Kat held out her hand imperiously.

“Thank you,” Ross said. They straightened themselves and Ross fidgeted with tucking his shirt in again. Alex raised his eyebrows.

“Ross mate, take the shirt off, show Kim your abs.”

“What? No. Fuck off.” He made a disbelieving face.

“Maybe you should all take your shirts off,” Kat suggested , tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she snapped a half dozen shots of them fussing with each other. “Come on, look at the camera guys. Say cheese.”

They managed to all look up at once - Alex with a wide grin and Ross’ half smile and Chris pulling a ridiculous face. Kat laughed and handed the camera back.

“Cute.” She joined them walking back towards the building. “Who’s Kim?”

“Friend of ours.”

“Not a girlfriend?”

“Haha no, though I bet she would totally go for it.”

“Shut your mouth Smith.” Ross smacked Alex in the arm, a little harder than necessary.

“Ow, jesus Ross!”

“Not sorry!”

“Kim worked with us, back home,” Chris explained as the other two scuffled. He rolled his eyes as Ross started yelling and Alex tripped him. In a minute they were rolling around on the ground hitting at each other, yelling and laughing at the same time.

“You guys are really weird. No offense.” Kim stepped back as Ross and Alex tumbled a bit closer.

“You get used to it,” Chris said, his voice exasperated and amused in equal measure. “They’re like this all the time.”

“So are you guys then…” Kat made a vague hand gesture.

“Are we what?” Chris drawled. He wanted to make her say it. It was a little mean, but his grinding unpleasantness with Tessier made him a bit sharp on the subject of their relationship.

“Are you guys together? Like dating?”

“More or less.”

“More or less what? I mean, clearly you’re sharing the bed. And I saw that hickey Ross had. Pretty sure he’s not sucking face with anyone else here, so...”

“Yeah,” Chris said evenly. “It’s been a thing for awhile.”

Kat whistled, a smile creasing her face.

“Damn dude. Both of them?”

Chris nodded.

“Ugh, I don’t even have one boyfriend.”

“You don’t want either of them. Ross snores and Smith has the worst morning breath and they’re both obnoxiously loud. You’ve heard it when Ross starts beat boxing. All the time. Constantly. While he’s doing the washing up or working or anything. And don’t even get me started on Smith’s propensity for bursting into shitty songs at the drop of a hat, or his habit of drunk ordering grocery deliveries...”

“Whatever man.” She shook her head with a wolfish grin. On the ground Ross finally got the upper hand, planting his knee on Alex’s back with a triumphant shout.

“Come on stop fucking around,” Chris yelled at them as he started to walk away. “They may be cute but god they’re a mess.”

“A super cute sexy mess,” Kat amended, mock punching him in the shoulder. Chris snorted.

“Don’t ever let them hear you say that, they’ll be insufferable.”

“But two of them? That’s just unfair. Can you just let me borrow one for a little while?”

“For your birthday, I’ll put a bow on one for you.”

“If you don’t, I’ll be so disappointed.” She looked over her shoulder at them and laughed again. “Anyways, I came to see if you’re coming with Saturday.”

“What’s Saturday?”

“Karaoke!” she sang. “Molly’s birthday is Sunday, so we’re celebrating. Come on, you have to go with us.”

“You realize we’re just going to get drunk and sing Bohemian Rhapsody?”

“God, really?” Kat grabbed his arm. “Please tell me you’ll actually do this.”

“The minute you tell Smith there’s karaoke there won’t be any stopping it.”

 

* * *

Six weeks in and Zhukov changed up their training routines. No longer remedial students, they now had instruction on whatever Zhukov felt they needed. Alex was at first glad to be singled out for extra lessons until the moment he realized it was because he was behind everyone else. Extra hours of practice kept them up late into the evenings, and now Saturdays were 14 hour days of training and fighting. They had never been so tired.

Ross used his free time to go running, doing long laps outside around the base. Chris spent it editing or catching up on the reading. Sometimes he would go running with Ross, though he couldn’t quite understand why he did it. Running was terrible and tiring.

Mostly Ross ran alone, listening to his favorite songs. He wasn’t really sure that running was ever going to be a useful skill when fighting monsters. It was the hour or so where he didn’t think about anything, all the noise in his head quieted and went dark under the music from his headphones, his heartbeat, his breath, his shoes on the tarmac. By the time he got back to their room, shaky and sweaty, he felt calmer.

* * *

Chris ran into Ashpool on his way to the elevator.

“Whoa,” she said. “What happened to you?”

“What?” He jerked back, startled.

“You look like you just went round and round with someone and came out on the losing side.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “It’s fine. Just have to redo some edits.”

Ashpool nodded and fell in step beside him. Chris glanced curiously at her.

“Shouldn’t you be off doing something official?”

“Got the afternoon off,” Ashpool said with a shrug. “We’ve got a new rack of candidates coming in soon, so I’ve been sorting out where we’re going to fit everyone. Just waiting on a final head count now.”

Chris nodded. He knew that something was coming soon. They had to start cutting because they wouldn’t put all of these people into simulation training. Alex theorized maybe half of them would make the first cut and then they would winnow it down even further once they started actual drift testing. There were a lot of outrageous rumors about people getting brain damage, even dying. Chris usually shrugged them off in conversation but privately it scared the hell out of him.

They stepped into the elevator and Ashpool punched the button for their floor.

“She giving you a hard time?” Ashpool asked quietly, her eyes on the door.

“Who?”

“Blue suit, has a bad hang up about your “behavior” with your boyfriends?”

“Oh.” He opened his mouth, unsure what to say. “I don’t call them my boyfriends.”

“Whatever it is then,” Ashpool said, a hint of a smile on her face. “She’s a grade A racist, homophobic, snobby bitch. Kind of makes me feel like I’m back home in Georgia.”

“I’m not sure it makes me feel better to know it isn’t just me.”

“She’s not quite caught up with the times or the international, diverse nature of the project.”

The sarcasm and loathing in her voice made Chris snort, turning the drive around in his hand.

“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not but it isn’t that bad.” The lie came out easily.

“Sure.” She raised a skeptical eyebrow but didn’t press the issue. The elevator beeped and opened up onto their floor, the long L shaped hall of rooms. There were a couple of actual Jaeger pilots somewhere here, though they’d never run into them. Some of the officers like Ashpool were also living up here now. It felt less strange, though still kind of like a terrible dorm.

“See you later Trott,” she called over her shoulder. He waved a goodbye and keyed in the code for his door. Their room was empty and he sighed with relief. Dropping the drive on the table, he went to wash his face and lean heavily on the sink.

Every meeting with Tessier was a battle, and he was already regretting his choice to stay in this war. Except he couldn’t just throw his hands up and abandon the project he started. Especially because Ross and Alex wouldn’t understand.

Chris hadn’t said anything to them beyond one or two snarky comments about Tessier being a bigot. He didn’t mention how unpleasant their meetings were, the constant arguments about footage or her unreasonable demands. Finding enough time to actually shoot some decent footage, edit it and stay on top of the endless hours of classes and training they had every day was wearing on him. Trying to conceal the amount of time he spent doing edits after meeting with Tessier was trickier, and he felt a thread of guilt twisted through him whenever they talked about the videos. Ross had occasionally insisted on taking some time to work on them, and it was harder to brush him off than Alex. Sometimes he had the sense Ross knew something was up but he never breathed a word about it.

He knew that she knew just how much it screwed with him and that was the ugly part. The only thing Chris could think to do was not let it show. He chewed the inside of his cheek raw during their meetings, and ran himself into exhaustion balancing everything. Every bit of his stress and distress got pushed down into the bottom of his brain, folded up and away. If he didn’t acknowledge it, then it wouldn’t slow him down. That was the idea at least. But there wasn’t time to do anything else and just what the fuck were they going to do anyway? He didn’t relish the thought of dealing with an angry Alex who would probably walk in there yelling and give Tessier the excuse she wanted to shut them down. Chris hadn’t spent years working on this YouTube channel just to let it die, even if they were in the far end of nowhere. The videos of them in Jaeger Academy were insanely popular, not just with their normal audience. People were watching, hungry to know what was happening in this war that no one really understood. Their subscriber count had jumped enormously in the past six weeks, even with the pitifully few videos they’d released. It mattered to him, more than he wanted to admit to anyone.

Chris wiped his hands off on a towel and stared at himself in the mirror. In dire need of a haircut and a shave, he observed. He was so damn tired he couldn’t even contemplate fixing those issues. Crawling sideways across the bed, he let his feet hang over the edge. Just a couple minutes and he’d go back down to the dining hall.

He blinked and Ross was shaking him awake, his brow furrowed.

“Trott, get up, we’ve got to get down there or Zhukov is going to murder us.”

“Where’s Smith?” he asked, trying to orient himself. Shit, he thought.

“I sent him on ahead and came to see if you were here.” Ross pulled him up to his feet. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine, just tired.” He tried to brush away Ross’ hands. God he felt worse now, thick headed and confused.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks?” he squinted at Ross. “I just wanted a nap mate.”

“Here, I brought you this, you’d better eat on the way.” He offered Chris a cereal bar, one of the kind made of weird artificial strawberry flavor, gritty with powdered milk. The chestnut haired man grunted his thanks and dragged himself out the door.

* * *

Alex twisted away angrily and got back to his feet. The instructor across from him made that familiar “do it again” gesture with one hand as she stepped back. He wiped the sweat out of his eyes and moved back to the beginning stance. This fucking move, he cursed internally. He could not get this down, no matter how much he tried. Even Ross could do the damn thing. Why couldn’t he? Alex wanted to punch something or scream through clenched teeth. It was like being stuck in a horrible Trials extreme track but a thousand times worse. Back at home he’d probably been the most active of the three of them, taking regular weekends to run around in the woods for airsoft games. Ross went to the gym some but Chris certainly never did. He considered vaulting down the stairs exercise. So why couldn’t he just do this? Sure he was clumsy but fuck this was getting ridiculous.

“Anytime,” the instructor said in a faintly disapproving voice.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. At least it wasn’t Zhukov tonight, he thought. He might actually scream if that man called him a squirrel again. Alex squeezed his fists and let go. It started out fine, but when he stepped forward something just failed to click. He missed again. He kept missing for the rest of the hour.

When he came back to the room he didn’t even greet the others, just stomped directly into the shower. Ross made to follow him, but Chris shook his head.

“Go get him something to eat, he’ll be pissy until he eats something.” Chris yawned, cross legged on the bed. He was going over everything they knew so far about the most recent Kaiju attack.

With a nod, Ross slipped out back down to the dining hall. It was quiet in the corridors but they could still usually get food until nearly midnight. He pocketed an apple, a banana and a leftover turkey sandwich. The sandwiches were kind of terrible, but it was better than nothing.

By the time he made it back, Alex was out of the shower and Chris was slumped over his notebook asleep. Ross held up the food and jerked his head towards the door. Alex nodded. He picked up Chris’ notebook and set it neatly on the table, draped a blanket around the sleeping man. They both smiled without realizing it.

There was a stairwell that went nearly to the top of the building, opening up to a high roof top space. Ashpool had shown Ross how to trick the door open so they wouldn’t end up locked outside. Some of the others came up here to smoke from time to time. This late, it was empty and silent, rather dark despite the lights down along the ground. They were on the other side from the massive construction in progress for the new facility to house the eventual army of Jaegers.

They sat with their backs against the wall, staring up at the night sky full of unfamiliar stars. Alex wolfed down the food, pausing only long enough to unwrap the plastic from the sandwich.

“How bad?” Ross asked finally.

“Awful,” Alex answered.

Ross leaned his head on Alex’s shoulder. He had no idea what to say.

“I feel like an idiot,” he admitted, twisting the plastic wrap in his hands. “I should be able to do this, right?”

“Yeah you should totally be able to master this insane fighting style someone made up a year ago and that only like ten people in the entire world know how to do.” Ross snorted. “I don’t know why you haven’t already.”

“You’re not having trouble.”

“Are you joking?” Ross lifted his head to give him a withering stare. “Did you miss that part yesterday where I ended up flat on my back with someone’s knee on my throat not once, not twice but four times?”

“Still doing better than I am.” Drawing his knees up, Alex sighed. “I want this so bad, Ross. I don’t want to fail.”

“You’re not going to fail.” He leaned against Alex again.

“You don’t know that.”

“You won’t, I know it. You know I’m always right about stuff.”

Alex laughed, a quiet sound but happier than anything he’d uttered all day. They sat there in silence, Alex almost dozing and Ross watching the sky. A half an hour or so passed and Ross felt the pins and needles in his legs.

“Get up, I want to go to bed.” He tugged the auburn haired man up to his feet. Before he could open up the roof door, Alex wrapped his arms around him and kissed him on the temple. He hummed in Ross’ ear as they stood there, swaying just a little. 

"I'm not dragging you all the way back down the stairs if you pass out here," Ross warned.

"You would not leave me up here."

"I would."

"Nah," Alex chuckled. "You get cold at night, you're not leaving your favorite space heater outside."

"Who says Trott isn't my favorite space heater?"

"Nope, it is definitely me." He rubbed his hand on Ross' back as he punched in the door's override combination.

"How can you be so hard on yourself and still have such an ego?" Ross asked wonderingly. Alex just shrugged, and laced their fingers together as they trudged back to their room.


	12. Chapter 12

When they did make it out to the bar, the karaoke DJ was missing. A bartender explained there was some kind of incident involving a large mammal and late night driving under the influence, apparently not uncommon enough to warrant much concern. Kat was deeply disappointed, but Molly looked faintly relieved. Instead they fed cash into the jukebox most of the night, dancing in the little square of space between their table and the machine. Kat brought cupcakes from somewhere, dry and sugary with lots of sprinkles. Kat made them sing the birthday song and then handed out shots of tequila for everyone. It was noisy, but pleasantly so. It reminded Chris a bit of university parties, people free from their responsibilities to be a bit reckless and loud. He could not get used to the animal heads over the bar though. They were a bit much. Henry assured him they were all real, and told hair raising stories about hunting in South Texas with his family for tiny deer, feral hogs and birds.

“Wait, you eat doves?”

“Yeah.” Henry shrugged. “They’re pretty good.”

“But _doves_?” Ross made an incredulous face. “Symbols of peace and love?”

“Well the ones we have aren’t the all white kind. They’re more brown and grey.”

“But it is still a dove.”

“Just about any bird is going to taste pretty good when you wrap it up in bacon and jalapenos and grill it.” Henry laughed. “And there’s a million of them, so I don’t think you have to worry that anyone’s running out of peace and love.”

“Maybe that’s the problem,” Ross replied. “Maybe the world is such a disaster because you’re eating all the doves.”

“I don’t think of all the terrible crap America does, eating doves ranks high on the list.”

“So are Molly and Case going to start punching each other or making out?” asked Chris.

They all craned their necks to watch them arguing by the jukebox. Case’s glasses reflected the neon light from the bar. Molly loomed over him, tall and rangy with her hair twisted back in a messy bun. Both of them were leaning close with intense expressions, hands in the air gesturing.

“They have a serious difference of opinion about the Smiths,” Alex observed. “What’s going to happen when they discover modern music?”

“I’m more baffled that this place has the Smiths in the jukebox.”

“That is kind of an odd choice for here.”

“The 1980s never died in America.”

“Those two,” Jay laughed. “I bet you everything in my wallet they’re going to get teamed up.”

“You think so?”

“Yup,” Henry agreed. “They’re both weird drift compatible nerds.”

“Speaking of weird drift compatible nerds,” Kat said in an amused voice as she returned to the table with several drinks.

“I think she’s talking about us.” Alex elbowed Chris in the ribs.

“Do you see anyone else in this bar who fits that description?”

“Technically aren’t we all nerds?”

“That’s a stretch.”

“Okay but hear me out…”

Ross looked around. The pool tables in the back were crowded and the bar hummed with steady buzz of conversation and music. Neon fixtures over the bar glowed green and gold, painting everyone in a forgiving light. There were quite a few other people from the base in the bar, recognizable in their boots and grey jackets, but also a fair few local regulars. Also present was a sizeable contingent of women in dresses that seemed more suited for dance club than a dive bar with animal heads on the walls. Apparently the population of base groupies had grown significantly in the past year, Jay told them early in the evening. There were a lot of terrible names for them, the least offensive of which was ‘Jaeger flies.’ A pair of girls in identical yellow dresses made eyes at Alex from their place at the bar.They looked painfully young and Ross wondered how they even got into this place. One of them chewed on her drink straw as she leaned over to whisper to her friend. Ross frowned, line creasing his forehead.

“Pretty sure you don’t have to worry about him running off with them,” said Kat in an undertone, sliding a beer across the table to Ross. She rolled her eyes at the yellow dress girls.

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it either though.”

“I didn’t peg you for the jealous type.”

Ross raised his eyebrows and took a long drink.

“Doesn’t mean I’m not. Well. Most of the time. Usually.”

“Still, it doesn’t look like you have much to worry about.”

“Never underestimate Smith’s willingness to engage in stupid situations.”

“So I guess this means running off with him is out of the question?” She sighed, chin in one hand. Ross stared at her for a moment and then chuckled.

“Sorry.”

“Goddamn, I hate you guys. Did your mothers not teach you to share?”

“But Kat,” Ross grinned. “I am sharing already.”

“True.” She tapped her bottle against his.

Jay slapped the table, making everyone’s drinks wobble and jump.

“Someone come play pool with me, those guys are almost done.”

Chris hopped up and followed him off to the tables, while Alex went to interrupt Molly & Case’s musical death match. Ross watched him, as well as the girls at the bar. The beer was so cold it was almost tasteless on the way down. He nodded to Kat’s suggestion they get more drinks and followed her into the noise.

 

* * *

“Kat has got it bad for you,” Ross giggled. He wasn’t drunk he told himself, just a bit giddy. Usually Alex and Chris were reckless, and he would be the one to gather everyone up at the end of the night to make sure they made it safely back to their hotel or the flat, pull off shoes and force water down throats before they passed out still half dressed. But tonight he’d overestimated how many cheap, terrible American beers he could have before the world got a bit soft around the edges.

“What are you on about mate?” Alex bumped into the edge of the door. He slung an arm around Ross’ shoulders to keep the dark haired man from stumbling backwards.

“Keep your voices down!” Chris hissed as he tried three times to remember the door code. It finally clicked open and they tumbled inside. He slammed the door a bit harder than necessary and winced after the fact.

“Kat,” Ross repeated. “Thinks you are cute.”

“Why is this so funny? I am cute.”

“You are,” Ross agreed.

“Are you drunk, Ross?” Alex walked him backwards across the room until they banged into the bed.

“Nope,” he denied. He propped his elbows on the top bunk.

“You’re drunk, Ross.” Chris groaned. “Why are you drunk?”

“Someone kept giving me beers,” Ross answered quite seriously. “I had to drink them. It would be rude not to drink them Trott. Wouldn’t want to be rude.”

Muttering under his breath, Chris sat down to pull off his boots. When he glanced back up, Ross had his fingers tangled in Alex’s hair as they kissed slowly.

“It’s so late and I just want to go to sleep,” Chris grumbled as he dropped his clothes on a chair. But he rubbed his face against Alex’s back, and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s waist.

“He’ll fall asleep if we can just get him horizontal,” Alex said under his breath. Chris kissed his back and went off to put on his pajama pants.

“I heard that.”

“Take off your boots for fuck’s sake.”

“Don’t tell me to do things.”

“Oh I’ll tell you what to do, mate.”

“Ooh,” Ross laughed. But he let the other two push him down and help him undress. Alex rolled him into a blanket, and Chris curled up half on top of him to keep him there while Alex turned out the lights. He held Ross’ hands, trying to keep him from fidgeting his way into Chris’ clothes.

“Go to sleep Ross.”

“But I’m not tired.” He yawned as he protested though. Alex climbed into bed behind him. Ross twisted around to wrap himself naked and warm around the auburn haired man. His fingers slipped under Alex’s shirt. Chris rolled over onto Ross’ other side.

“Do you want me to sing to you?” asked Alex, his voice husky and amused. Ross’ voice was indistinct as Alex stroked a hand through his hair and down his back.

“Go. The fuck. To sleep.” On his other side, Chris stretched out, feeling his shoulders pop. Then he stole Ross’ pillow since he wasn’t using it.

“I’m cold,” Ross mumbled.

“You wouldn’t be if you slept in some clothes for a change.”

“But Trott’s my space heater.” Ross tried to roll back over, but Alex trapped him in a blanket.

“Hush.”

“Your space heater is tired, and wants to sleep.” Chris did slide back just a little so the two of them were pressed back to back.

Alex started to hum something, one hand tracing lines up and down Ross’ shoulder. Quickly the dark haired man dropped off into sleep and the others followed.

* * *

In the corner of the screen, Chris could see a hand set down a mug of tea and push it towards Lewis.

“Hey Simon.”

“Hello.” He tilted his head into the frame by Lewis’ shoulder.

“I didn’t think you got up before noon, ever,” Chris grinned.

“Hannah’s off at the gym, and Lewis is too grand to make his own tea these days so I had to come in.”

“What? That’s not true…” The two friends bickered with each other. Chris chuckled and held his own mug.

“I bet it’s better than any of the stuff we’re drinking here.”

“Yeah, Kim and some of them are taking up a collection,” noted Lewis. “Send tea to the poor Hat Films boys, support the war effort. Can you believe we actually have posters that say ‘Support The War Effort’ going up on bus stations?”

“I think she posted on her tumblr so the post will fill up within the week," said Simon. "We'll have to send Minty and Tom down with a car to get it all.”

“That should be good.”

“The American customs will probably confiscate it,” Lewis muttered. “Speaking of, how are things with the people there?”

“Still fucking shit,” Chris said, trying to put some levity in his tone. “I have to cut a lot of stuff I want to include because everyone’s got different ideas about what should be publicly visible.”

“Well if you can see it on Google Earth, I hardly see how putting it on Youtube is going to matter.”

“I know. But some of these people are…” He hesitated. He didn’t want to be completely paranoid but it was perfectly possible and likely that all these conversations were monitored. He just hoped it wasn’t actually Tessier listening in to them.

“Well, fuck ‘em.” Lewis frowned and leaned on his elbows. “Your channel stats are crazy good, considering how little you’re putting out. People keep asking when we’re going to visit you and stuff like that.”

“I don’t even think you can.”

“Right, well no one is expecting to.”

“I wonder if we get any time off,” Chris mused. “No one’s ever said. But there’s got to be a break or an end at some point.”

“You would think,” Simon interjected. “You get leave in the army and this is pretty much like the army except for the whole giant robot thing.”

“I’ll find out,” Chris said firmly. “Surely at some point we will finish training and get to go home to visit. Or someone could come out here…”

“Everyone in the office is going to fight over that if we do send people,” Simon pointed out.

“We’ll make everyone roll dice or something.”

“No, something even nerdier.”

“What, like a Mario Kart tournament?”

“Seriously though,” Lewis mused. “What if we pitch it as an interview?”

“That might actually work.” Chris tapped his fingers on his keyboard. “I’ll find out.”

“Who can we send to do an interview who is not shit?” Lewis looked at Simon over his mug.

“Kim, duh.” Simon winked at the camera and Chris smiled.

“Don’t say anything until I talk to someone about it okay? I don’t want anyone’s hopes up prematurely.” Especially not Ross. He would be ecstatic if Kim showed up out of the blue. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted it to happen. It was smart for the videos, and it would be good for them to see someone from home. He would have to fight Tessier tooth and nail, but perhaps if he went to the media office team first he might figure out some way to argue for it.

“Find out if we can get two people, it would be easier if we had a camera person.”

“A camera Tom, you mean.”

“Well yeah.” Lewis snorted.

“Don’t say anything, okay? Let me find out first if we can get anyone here or if we get some kind of leave. We never even asked. I can’t remember if they said when we did all that paperwork...”

The door opened on Alex and Ross, sweaty and exhausted from a late evening run.

“Why do you do that?” Alex complained. “That is horrible.”

“It’s not so bad.”

“Mate, I’m never going to need to run from a Kaiju.”

“It’s good for your heart.”

“Fuck that,” Alex exclaimed. “Pretty sure it can’t be good for you to run so much.”

Chris tilted his head, about to say something when Alex started stripping his clothes off. In his headphones, Lewis groaned over Simon’s laughter. Chris covered his mouth with one hand and caught Ross’ glance to point surreptitiously at the webcam light. Ross’ eyes widened and he scrunched his nose up in a silent laugh. Swinging close to the desk, he bent down to rest his face on Chris’ hair and wave at the camera. Still laughing, Lewis and Simon waved back before they signed off for their day. Done complaining about Ross’ choice of exercise habits, Alex went for a shower.

“What are we going to do for Smith's birthday?” asked Ross unexpectedly, dropping into a chair beside Chris. He could hear the reassuring sound of the water going, giving them a couple minutes.

“Jesus Christ.” Chris tapped on the keyboard. “I have no earthly idea. Do you?”

“Haven’t exactly had a chance to buy a load of tat from the shop.”

“Ohhh shit, a video too. We haven’t skipped a birthday video in years.” If he’d even looked at any of their social media he probably would have seen someone asking about it and been reminded. Chris kicked himself for forgetting.

“Well that part is easy enough. But what are we really going to do for him?”

“I am such an asshole, I completely forgot.”

Ross snorted and reached over to ruffle Chris’ hair.

“We both almost forgot. I won’t tell if you don’t. So don’t even think about it.”

Chris rubbed his eyes. He felt awful about it even if he knew that they were all sort of permanently exhausted from constantly doing and thinking and working. Still. Alex was the sort to always remember birthdays and special occasions. He always made some kind of ridiculous plan.

“Okay, I’ll figure out what kind of nonsense we can dredge up for a quick birthday video. Kat and Jay can probably help us get some ridiculous stuff from somewhere.” He’d have to run that by Tessier and it would be ugly too. She’d carp about every glance between them, about the way Ross would let his hand linger too long in some perfectly innocent way. It didn't matter what they bought, Ross would find some way to turn it into a sex joke.

“I’ll figure out what to do for the real thing,” Ross agreed. "We've got a few days yet, we can sort something nice out for him."

"Being here with his goddamn Jaegers ought to be enough really."

"Yeah, but I want to do something for him..." Ross smiled and impulsively Chris kissed him, glad for yet another distraction from all his worries.

“You stink.”

“Cheers,” Ross said with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll just go shower then.”

Slumping down in his seat, Chris started sketching out notes for another video. He’d have to cram more edits into the hours of sleep instead and really the only choice for that was to get up early. Ross would never let him get away with staying up out of bed, knowing him so well. But they might not catch on if he got up an extra half hour or even an hour before them in the morning. Not that he got enough sleep right now. But surely it would just be a temporary hitch while they got this sorted out.


	13. Chapter 13

There was no hiding the plans for a birthday video from Alex, but Chris convinced the twins to hide their stash of ridiculous presents so Alex wouldn’t come across them. Kat was ecstatic about it, and contributed a garish birthday card when Chris bemoaned not having any fan mail to give him. He wondered if they were still getting mail. They were probably getting mail. He'd ask Lewis next time they got to talk.

Ross fussed with the camera and decided they had to do it during daylight because he could not get the room lights set to his satisfaction. So two days before Alex’s actual birthday they used their lunch hour to record him opening the ridiculous cards and gifts.

“What even is this?” Alex asked dubiously.

“Uh, I think that’s jerky. There was a guy selling it outside…”

“You bought this from some guy on the street?” exclaimed Alex. He looked amused and horrified.

“Only the best for you, sunshine.” Chris smirked and tossed a ball of wrapping paper in the air.

“I hope it’s not dog or anything like that. I mean god knows what people eat out here...”

“Jesus, Smith, don’t say that.” Ross made a face.

“We’ll ask Henry," Chris mused. "He’ll know. He’s eaten basically every animal in North America right?”

Alex laughed and gnawed on a piece as he unwrapped another package. Kat managed to find some hideous children’s wrapping paper, and wrapped a bunch of very patriotic condoms for Alex. Jay’s present was an assortment of the most disgusting energy drinks available in the commissary and from the gas station not far off the base. Chris tried not to wince as Alex and Ross went off on an obscene tangent about the sex appeal of Jaeger pilots and the opportunities to use all those condoms.

“All the most fashionable Jaeger pilots were t-shirts with bedazzled bald eagles,” Alex managed to say with a mostly straight face. Ross collapsed into laughter beside him. He was especially pleased with the terrible shirt. Trott’s gift was a package of MREs that Ashpool managed to dig up for them.

“Do I have to eat this now?”

“Well, we’re skipping lunch so you might as well,” Chris pointed out. Tearing into the package, Alex pulled out the entree, meatballs in some sauce. Ross ate the crackers while they waited, Alex and Chris cracking bad jokes about the uses of powdered drink mix.

“It’s not terrible?” Alex speared a meatball with a fork and held it up for the camera. “Kind of bland, but not nearly as bad as I expected.”

“Yeah, for twenty year old meatballs, seems pretty good.”

“Fuck, are these twenty years old?” Ross started laughing again as Alex fumbled with the packaging. Chris threw another ball of wrapping paper at his head. The camera sat on the end of the table, the silent observer.

 

* * *

Ross couldn’t understand why Chris, usually the instigator, was so reluctant to go all out on finding ridiculous stuff for Alex’s birthday video. But then he caught sight of Tessier staring at them on the way back upstairs. She smiled that awful, insincere smile of hers, and all the animation drained out of Chris. Ross frowned, looking between the two. Beside him, Alex chattered obliviously as they carried his presents back to their room. He desperately wanted to ask Chris questions, but there was no time before they had to be back in training. He had an unpleasant feeling in his gut about it all. He could feel Tessier’s eyes on his back all the way down the hall.

 

* * *

Alex proudly wore his hideous new bedazzled eagle shirt to dinner. The raucous comments he received from everyone else in the dining hall only made him grin wider.

“Do we get to spank the birthday boy?” Kat asked, a coy smile on her face.

“Oh my god shut up,” groaned Jay.

“Not until my actual birthday,” Alex teased. “You have to wait until Monday for that.”

“Stop holding up the line, I’m starving.” Ross pushed at them, snatching up a tray and the roll of silverware. Saturdays were hit or miss when it came to meals, but they’d lucked out with pork chops and mashed potatoes tonight.

Alex found Henry, and demanded his opinion on the jerky. He pulled out a piece of the leathery meat and popped it into his mouth. They all watched him chew thoughtfully.

“Tastes like dog,” he said, swallowing. Henry picked up his water.

“What the fuck?” Alex shouted.

“Oh god,” Ross moaned and covered his face. “I ate a dog. I hate myself.”

“No you fucking losers,” Henry snorted. “God you’re so gullible. It’s venison. Dog, hah.”

Chris laughed into his potatoes, trying not to choke.

“Fuck you Henry.” Alex looked askance at the bag of jerky.

“You don’t want to eat it, I will. It’s pretty good. Where did you say you bought this?”

“Some guy on the side of the road.”

“Cool.” He grinned and shook his head. “Dog. Hah. Dumb fucks.”

“Goddamn it, Henry.”

Henry just laughed to himself as he forked up more potatoes.

 

* * *

“He used to be in a band, you know.” Chris gestured towards Alex, gleefully singing some bad pop song with a group of people sitting on one of the tables in the dining hall. It was late, and they were wasting time. Alex was sharing his illicit birthday whiskey in their plastic cups of soda.

“I’ve heard,” Kat laughed. “Many times. I’m not surprised.”

“He was actually pretty good,” Chris continued, a wistful look on his face. “I wonder sometimes if he wouldn’t have been happier doing that. He gave it up when we were doing the youtube thing full time.”

Kat looked at him, her eyes thoughtful. She leaned her chin on one hand.

“You ever tell him about that?”

“Nah,” Chris shook his head.

“Well, he’ll know soon enough.” She raised her eyebrows at his look of confusion. “When you start drifting. Then you know pretty much everything, don’t you?”

“Right.” Chris took a swallow of his beer, hoping to hide how unsettled he felt.

“I don’t think it will be that different for Jay and me,” she continued. “Being twins and all. It feels like we’re half in each other’s heads anyway.”

“Maybe that’s why they picked you.”

“I heard twins don’t test out any different from anyone else,” Kat said. She sipped her drink, and they joined in the applause for the impromptu karaoke.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Kat turned her cup round and round on the table. “All those little moments where things could have gone so differently? If you hadn’t shown up, or hadn’t made some little choice.”

“Yeah,” agreed Chris. “I think about that too. I wonder if we made the right choices.”

“I think more about how terrible it would be if we hadn’t made the ones we did,” Kat said. "I'm pretty sure we're all where we are supposed to be." She put her hand on Chris' shoulder for a minute, before getting up to join the singing.

 

* * *

“Happy birthday,” Ross toasted, and clinked his cup against Alex’s. They drank, looking out towards the sea. Up on the roof they had the best view of the construction of the new Jaeger bays, and the water beyond them. Clouds streaked the sky, mirroring the ripples of the waves and obscuring some of the stars.

“Thanks for the gift.” Alex took a second swallow of the whiskey. It wasn’t anything special, except that it was here. He was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to be keeping booze in their room. Ross could be sneaky when he had reason to be, and right now Alex was infinitely glad for it.

“Did you know that we get paid as Jaeger pilots?” Ross said unexpectedly. “I was talking to Ashpool earlier, and the PPDC is giving us a salary.”

“Course we get paid,” Alex snorted. “Every army gets paid.”

“I just never thought about it,” Ross admitted, a bit sheepish.

Alex leaned his head on Ross’ shoulder, watching the water. The night was cool, and Ross’ shoulder was warm. He was tired, full of food and whiskey and quiet happiness. Not bad for a birthday two days early and half the world away from home, he thought. 

“Where’s Chris?” he asked finally, yawning. “I thought he was going to come up here.”

“Probably still editing that thing,” Ross sighed. “I’m starting to think he isn’t sleeping.”

“I know he’s not sleeping.” Alex sat up straight, stretching.

“What are we going to do?”

“You know what he’s like,” Alex grunted. “He won’t talk about it until he wants to.”

“We should help more,” Ross said after a long pause. “I think dealing with Tessier is a nightmare.”

“You know he does that part because either one of us would blow the whole thing,” Alex pointed out. He poured some more whiskey into their cups.

“Still.” Ross held his cup in both hands, and looked at Alex. “I’m worried.”

“It will be okay,” Alex said softly. “We’ll make him let us do the next video, yeah?”

Ross nodded. He kissed Alex on the temple.

“Happy birthday, anyways.”

“Thanks, mate.”

* * *

 

They were running drills. Zhukov had them practicing their footwork on balance beams, four feet above the mats. They took turns rushing each other from either end, trying to find some way around the other person in the few seconds allowed. It was weird, but it made sense in Chris’ mind. It was a dodge, a narrow dodge and it required the ability to be absolutely sure where you were going to put your feet.

Case had moved unexpectedly slowly, and so Ross leaped too early to get over the crouching man. His foot skidded off the back of Case’s calf, and he didn’t have the balance to correct himself in time. Twisting, Ross slammed down crossways and bounced. His head narrowly missed clipping the beam on the way down.

Case watched him from the end of the beam and hopped off when Zhukov barked for the next two to run. Ross coughed and rolled over onto his knees, clearly gasping for air. Both Alex and Chris had to check themselves from rushing forward. Kat hopped up on the end of the beam nearest Ross and crouched. Chris could see her lips moving. Ross shook his head and staggered to his feet. Zhukov watched impassively from the side lines, arms folded as he called time for the next pair.

On the beam, Kat grabbed Henry’s shoulder to swing right around him, a maneuver that probably wouldn’t have worked if she had been any bigger or Henry any less solid. Ross stood at the end of the line, one hand still on his ribs. He finished the next round without saying a word, ducking underneath Molly’s handspring. Apparently she had been a cheerleader in high school, and knew how to do some ridiculous things.

When they switched to everyone’s least favorite round of mind numbing body weight exercises and sprints, Zhukov pulled Ross aside. Chris paused as he did his pushups, looking up at them.

“You don’t look like you cracked your head.” Zhukov tilted Ross’ head back and forth, looking at his eyes closely.

“No sir.”

“Ribs still hurt?”

Ross nodded, wincing when Zhukov pressed experimentally on his side.

“Go down the hall, get checked out.” He gave Ross a little push. There was a tiny infirmary right off the training facility. Somewhere further off in the base was a real medical facility but they hadn’t been in there since the early blood work done after their arrival. This was mostly for patching up the minor injuries inevitable to their training.

The nurse gave Ross some aspirin and an ice pack, sent him back down the hall. She seemed unimpressed with his injury, handling him brusquely. It was already swelling a bit, and looked like it would make a spectacular bruise. Henry and Alex teased him all the way to their rooms, offering to carry him. Ross rolled his eyes and smacked Alex on the back. Chris followed silently, chewing his lip.

 

* * *

“Thank fuck,” Ross groaned. “I want a shower more than anything I’ve ever wanted.” He ripped his shirt over his head in one quick move. Chris blanched, looking at the vivid bruise still running up his ribs when Ross turned. Two days later, and he still felt a little queasy thinking about it. He sat down to pull off his boots while the other two disappeared into the shower. Chris slowly unknotted the laces and loosened them.

It was fine, but Chris couldn’t shake that awful feeling of watching Ross slip. They fell down all the time. They all had their share of bruises. This just felt dangerous and more out of control, more the random hand of fate. He pushed hard on the fear, metallic and thick in the back of his throat. He was getting paranoid, he told himself. It was an annoying bruise, nothing broken. He was overreacting.

“Hey, Chris Trott, hey Chris Trott,” Alex sang. His hair was wet, dripping into his face.

“What?” He snapped back into the present. How long had he been sitting there, Chris wondered. Alex had a towel around his waist, clearly already done with his shower.

“Ross is going to use all the hot water if you don’t wake up and get in there.” Hooking an arm around Chris, Alex hugged him. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Just tired.”

“He’s alright, you know.”

Chris narrowed his eyes at Alex’s perceptive comment.

“That’s not-”

“Like hell it wasn’t,” Alex interrupted. “It was all over your face just then, same as it was in the practice room. He’s okay though.”

“For how long?” Chris snapped, bitterness in his voice. The moment the words were out of his mouth he regretted them.

“What?” Alex blinked.

“Nothing,” Chris sighed. “Forget I said it.”

“But-”

“Don’t say it.” The confusion in Alex’s expression cut him, and Chris let himself lean hard on his chest. Careful fingers brushed through Chris’ hair.

“Go get in the shower with him.” Alex pushed him gently. “Before the hot water runs out.”

He sighed, but did exactly that. Ross stood with his face upturned right underneath the spray, letting the water pour over him. The bruise on his right side was half hidden by his arm, a violet smudge over his ribs with a darker line to one side. The edges had already turned yellow.

“You’re lucky that someone put those shower heads in high enough for you oversized giants,” Chris said as he stripped. Ross grinned and turned towards him.

“Stop hogging all the water,” Chris mock grumbled, and bumped into him. Ross leaned back and raised an eyebrow.

“I am not! I’ve been in here five minutes.”

“More like twenty.”

“Hardly.” Ross shrugged and moved so Chris could stand under the water. He dumped shampoo into his hand and scrubbed at his head, humming a little under his breath. Chris watched him, eyes drawn back to the bruise.

“Does it still hurt?”

“What, this?” Ross ducked his head to rinse out the shampoo. “Can’t sleep on that side, still kind of sore really.” He glanced at Chris, noticing the way he frowned. “Not really that bad?”

“Sure.” He turned away to wash his face.

“Here.” Ross took the washcloth out of his hands and set to scrubbing his back, testing the tension of Chris’ shoulders with his fingers. He pushed his thumbs hard into the muscle at the base of his neck.

“We’re going to freeze any minute now,” sighed Chris.

“They can build giant mechs and not a reliable boiler system. God, what a fucking future.”

Chris laughed quietly, and turned around.

“Shouldn’t I be doing something nice for you instead?”

“Later,” Ross smiled. He dipped his head to kiss Chris on the lips, catching the lower one with his teeth. “Now turn around.”

Chris braced his forearms against the grey tiled wall. Ross’ fingers returned to his back, kneading the stiffness out of him. He closed his eyes against the water dripping down his face.

“How did you ever get so good at that?” he mumbled, head hanging forward.

“Well, I took an online class from one of those dodgy internet universities so I could get my degree as a massage therapist in case YouTube didn’t work out…”

“Oh right. Was this before or after the burlesque dancing career?”

“After, you know, I wasn’t sure I quite had the body to go back into that. It’s very competitive you know, and I had to shave a lot.”

Chris laughed quietly, the sound blurring into a pleased noise as Ross worked at the muscles along his spine. By the time the water started to cool, Chris felt more relaxed than he had in ages.

 

* * *

He couldn’t quite fall asleep later, despite his exhaustion. Beside him, Ross slept curled over with his face pressed to Chris’ chest. He smoothed the tufts of dark hair on the back of his head, feeling Ross’ steady breath on his skin.

“Trott.”

“Smith.”

“Why are you still up?”

He didn’t answer, studying the shadows over the bed. It was easier in the dark to hide his expression, to bite down on all the things he wanted to say. _This is insane. What are we doing here? I don’t want to die doing this. Why did I let you talk me into this? I don’t want either of you to get hurt. This is starting to scare me._

“Chris?” Alex’s voice was soft, and concerned.

“Just too many things to think about.” That was general enough he hoped to pass for a real answer.

“You worry too much,” Alex answered. He reached across Ross to rest his hand on Chris’ hip.

“You don’t worry enough.”

“But Ross worries just the right amount…”

“Oh my god, we’re not starting that whole weird joke about bears and Goldilocks again.” He suppressed the unexpected snicker.

“I maintain that skit was gold, especially with Sips. The view count!”

“The fan art we got!” Chris hissed back. They both cracked up, trying to smother their laughter and not wake up the man sleeping between them. Something eased in the shared mirth, and Chris touched Alex on the chin.

“Go to sleep,” Alex whispered, kissing his fingers.

“You go to sleep,” Chris whispered back. He tugged the blanket up to his shoulders. They both settled themselves against Ross, still sleeping soundly. Closing his eyes, Chris hoped his peace of mind would last long enough to let him fall asleep.

 


	14. Chapter 14

Chris pushed away from the table, a relieved smile on his face as he shook hands with the  members of the media department. There were also a couple men from the administrative side of the training program, people he would never otherwise see. He’d tried to reach out to every person who might need to be consulted for this idea. It wasn’t all that different to pitching ideas for trailers, and the sort of work they’d done before. But he’d never had to do it on his own. Chris hadn’t breathed a word of the idea to Alex or Ross, for fear of getting their hopes up for something that might not happen.  

His proposal for an interview with an outside crew had met with a startling amount of support. They made encouraging comments, and praised the response to their videos. The view counts were phenomenal for them, and the response was overwhelmingly positive. In the hour long meeting, Chris laid out his ideas for who to work with and his recommendations. Everyone was uniformly cheerful, with the glaring exception of Tessier. Her smile was forced, a fixed look that she turned on him with glaring intensity.

“Well, you’ve _certainly_ made your impression,” she said as the last person left the conference room. Chris paused, looking at her warily. She folded her arms, eyes boring into him.

“The next time you want to make an end run around to get your way-”

“Look, this idea requires a lot of coordination and I thought presenting a plan for it to the entire group was the best way,” interrupted Chris, trying to keep his voice from rising. His shoulders tensed, and he folded up the notes he’d made. Everything in him screamed to leave, to spend as little time as possible alone with Tessier. Chris made for the door.

“Not just because you wanted to make sure I wouldn’t shoot your little idea down?” Tessier’s voice dripped sarcasm. “Your cowardly little attempt to make sure you got your way-”

“What is your problem?” Chris exploded, turning to face her again. 

“My problem?” Tessier laughed. She stalked across the room, grabbing Chris by the forearm. “My issue is entirely with letting some little English pansies be the voice of the program when we’ve put so much work into this.”

Chris tried to jerk away, but her grip was much stronger than expected. Chris felt his heart beat kick up, a shaky feeling in his stomach like he was about to be in a fight. Adrenaline made him nauseous as she leaned into him, close enough for him to smell the faint floral scent of her soap. 

“I’m just waiting for you to screw up,” Tessier hissed in a low, threatening voice. “And when you do, you’ll be out all your special privileges, and I’ll have this department back on track.” Her nails dug into his arm, leaving red crescents behind.

_“What the fuck?”_ Chris breathed. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Jerking back, Chris felt exhausted in the face of her rage and disdain. Stumbling back to the door, he threw it open before he said anything he’d regret later. He nearly collided with Alex, waiting outside.

“Whoa, where are you rushing to?” laughed Alex, turning around. His eyebrows went up when he caught the expression on Chris’ face. 

“I’ll be sure to have someone in touch about logistics,” Tessier said with one of her insincere smiles. She pushed past them, and Chris visibly shuddered. Alex glanced back and forth between them, confusion in his wide eyes.

“What are you doing here?” muttered Chris, trying to breathe. His heart hammered uncomfortably, blood pounding in his temples.

“Came to get you, we’re supposed to go get fitted for dress uniforms…” Alex trailed off, and stared at Tessier until she rounded the corner. The sharp click of her heels on the floor faded. “What the fuck just happened there?”

“Nothing.” Chris took a step back even as Alex reached for him, putting space between them. Head down, he crumpled the papers in his hand, fist clenched. Alex stopped, a vague sense of hurt in his chest at the rejection.

“That was not nothing, mate.” Alex frowned, watching Chris pull himself back together. He avoided Alex’s eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Very deliberately he folded the papers and tucked them into a pocket. When Chris raised his head, his expression was carefully neutral. Alex could see where he was biting the inside of his cheek however.

“She just hates us, okay? There is literally nothing else to say about it.” Chris’ voice sounded deceptively calm. 

“Why?”

“Why do you think?” sighed Chris. “It doesn’t matter, there’s nothing to do for it.”

“Still-” Alex tried to continue. 

“Please, just drop it.” They stared at each other, and Chris rubbed a hand up into his hair. Alex opened his mouth to argue. But the look of resignation on Chris’ face stopped him. He slung an arm around his shoulders instead.

“Come on, let’s go get our fancy uniforms, Ross is already down there.” Alex glanced over his shoulder, but Tessier was long gone from the hallway. He wondered what had really happened there. 

 

* * *

 

Their class was smaller now, several more people dropping out as the month wound down. They did not miss the asshole guy who bragged about his hometown militia, but it was surprising that the guy who had been a police officer tapped out so early in the process. Smith missed the girl from New York, and wondered if she’d gone back. The way she spoke about hating the crowded fourth floor walk up apartment, riding the bus at night with guys who catcalled her, he hoped she was just going to move somewhere else. 

Everyone was nervous about the week of exams coming up. Placements would be made, pilot candidates picked, and the real work would start. There was a new tension in the air. People grouped together, talking quietly.

Alex resisted the urge to lean bodily on Ross, standing so close to him he could pick out the smell of the shampoo that came in the care package from their friends. Ross had an extreme distaste for the stuff available here, and now jealously hoarded the bottle of shampoo like it was liquid gold. It did smell good, Alex thought. It reminded him of home, a sharp and painful longing for his bedroom and their house and even the dumb, boring parts of work. He sighed, and crossed his arms. 

Chris watched him, studying the way Alex’s fingers gripped his arms. He shifted from foot to foot, wondering what kind of hell Zhukov was planning on putting them through today. Beside him, Kat kicked his ankle lightly. Catching his gaze she tipped her head to the side, behind them. Making a show of stretching, Chris turned to the side and leaned over. 

“What am I looking at?” he whispered to Kat. She rolled her eyes and tapped her wrist.

Bending down to touch his feet, Chris stared upside down at Case. He tried to figure out what was different. Case was standing there, hands on his hips, gazing off into space the way he did.

“Is that?” Chris straightened slowly, trying to maintain a casual demeanor. 

“Molly’s charm bracelet.” Kat grinned at him, her eyes gleaming. 

“About fucking time,” Chris laughed under his breath. The undeniable tension and attraction between those two had resulted in a lot of betting between the rest of them as to how long it would take before they just admitted they were wildly, ridiculously into each other. He tried to smooth away the mirth as Zhukov walked towards them. Chris made his bet that it would happen before the end of the month, and now Ross was going to be stuck doing all their laundry for the next two weeks. Internally Chris fist pumped with glee.

“Molly and Case, sitting in a tree-” Jay elbowed Kat hard, making her stumble on the mat. They made faces at each other as they straightened and settled.

“Good afternoon, squirrels.” Zhukov smiled in his bland, slightly terrifying way. “So you’ve almost finished your warm ups, haven’t you? Soon you’ll have your tests, find out where you’re needed. Not all of you will pass them, you know.” He paused, watching them with his cool, assessing gaze. 

“But when you fail, be thankful. Because I won’t send you out to get yourself killed. We don’t need cannon fodder for the front lines. Not in this kind of war.” He paced slowly down the mat. “We need men and women who can think their way through a fight. And we need the people to set them up for the fight. Everyone has a purpose.”

“Sir,” Molly said. She stood with her head up, eyes fixed on Zhukov. 

“Yes?” He paused, expectant. Zhukov enjoyed their questions, if they were smart ones.

“If we’re going to work in the ops center, why waste time teaching us to fight?” 

“Do you think the big monsters are the only ones that will come through?” Zhukov asked after a moment. “Do you think there’s no scenario which might require us to fight hand to hand, down to the final man, or woman? That it will surely never come to such desperate moments? Because that’s a mistake, to think that way. You must always be ready for the most terrible thing to happen.” 

“Shit,” Jay said quietly. “ _Are_ there others? Other aliens?”

“Who knows?” shrugged Zhukov. “But I would rather you know how to fight, if it comes to that. And it is important that you know what it costs when you send others out to fight.” He clasped his hands behind his back. 

“Alright squirrels,” Zhukov said. “Let’s see what you’ve learned.” 

Class was no harder than usual, the same endless rounds of practice and sparring. Chris, Ross and Alex switched off with each other, sometimes ganging up on Jay and Kat. The only real difference was that no one was laughing and horsing around today. The atmosphere was a little more grim, Zhukov’s words lingering in everyone’s minds.

By the time they started sparring, everyone was on edge. The fights were faster, harder. Even Henry, normally unflappable, cursed as he failed to dodge a strike from Molly. Kat and Jay moved with ferocious speed, and only Ross could keep up with them. Alex lost out in each round, each time his moves getting wilder and messier. He could not seem to catch up, no matter what he tried. Frustration burned in him as he watched Ross and Trott spar, moving with impressive speed and grace. Alex felt like an uncoordinated lump in comparison.

By the time Zhukov blew his whistle and ordered everyone off the mats, Alex felt a stitch in his side and his head was pounding almost as bad as a hangover. He leaned forward, hands braced on his knees. 

“You coming?” Chris touched his shoulder, the barest brush of fingers. Alex nodded, waving him away.

“Give me a minute.” 

Chris nodded, stepping back. Alex dropped his head, gritting his teeth against the rush of embarrassment and self doubt. He finally straightened up, only to find Zhukov watching him.

“What’s bothering you, squirrel?” Zhukov asked, as calm as he always was during their lessons. Alex clenched his jaw, and forced out a noisy breath.

“I should be better at this by now,” Alex admitted. He felt the endless frustration of never quite being good enough. Alex had imagined that he would excel at this, that he’d be the best, most accomplished pilot candidate this program had ever seen. Instead Trott still managed to knock him down four to two almost every time they sparred, and even Ross usually came out a point ahead of him. 

“Why?”

“Because I’m the only one of us who ever spent any time outside doing stuff.” Alex shrugged, uncomfortably. The rest of the class trailed towards the showers. Ross glanced at him, mouthing “okay?” when he realized Alex wasn’t beside him. Alex nodded. Chris was busy horsing around with Kat and Jay, the three of them chasing each other around the edge of the room on the way towards the locker room.

“You played games for a living.” When Alex looked at him in surprise, Zhukov laughed. “I’ve seen. We’ve all heard a lot about you.”

“Well.” Alex grinned, halfheartedly. “We were pretty cool.”

“Come with me,” Zhukov demanded. He steered Alex towards another corner of the floor. “How many push ups can you do?”

“Fifty?” Alex guessed, hoping he could actually do that many. 

“Go until you can’t do any more.” Zhukov watched as Alex dropped himself to the mat. He tried not to go too fast so he wouldn’t tire and tap out too quickly. His stomach ached, abdominal muscles tense. Somewhere along the way, he lost the thread of his numbers, wondering if he had skipped some or gone over again. Alex gritted his teeth. His arms burned, and sweat made his hands skid on the mat. 

“Fuck,” Alex cursed, crashing onto his chest when his arms finally gave way.

“Seventy two,” Zhukov said from above him. Alex rolled over, staring up.

“What?” he asked, confused. He prayed Zhukov didn't want him to do an extra seventy two push ups now.  


“You did seventy two,” Zhukov explained. He offered Alex his hand, pulling him up to his feet. “Now. Show me how fast you can run.” Tired and sore, Alex struggled to make himself keep going. His muscles burned, screaming from the extra work on top of the training session. Sucking in deep breaths any time he was allowed to pause, Alex hoped he wasn’t going to pass out, or worse still vomit. 

Zhukov dragged him round, pushing him to do various exercises with his calm, steady voice. Sprint from one end of the room to the other. Pull ups on the bars. Jabs and crosses on the punching bag. Lifting weights. Each time, he asked Alex how many pull ups he could do, how much weight he could lift, or how fast he thought he could run. Each time he accepted Alex’s answers with a nod, never asking for more or less. Zhukov watched him carefully, calling out his times and reps. He made no comments if the numbers Alex gave didn’t match the numbers he actually performed, either better or worse.

“Do you get it yet?” asked Zhukov. 

“Get what?” Alex carefully replaced the weights back into the rack, wincing at the scrape of metal on metal.

“You do better than you think you can.” Zhukov gestured, and Alex dropped gratefully onto the bench against the wall. He couldn’t help the little groan that escaped him.

“Not as good as them,” Alex said quietly, after a moment. “I’ll hold them back.”

Zhukov sighed, and sat down on the bench. Almost automatically his fingers reached from his chest, and a wry smile crossed his face. His hand dropped to his knee. They’d all seen Zhukov reach for the non-existent pack of cigarettes at various points, or heard him mutter darkly about the “fucking shit” non smoking policy indoors at the base.

“You fight side by side,” he said finally. “The most important thing, even more important than how good you are at any one thing.”

“I trust them with my life,” Alex said. “I’m just afraid -”

“I won’t tell you not to be afraid. Fear is very necessary. But...” The older man shrugged. Alex braced his arms on his knees, feeling sweat drying on his forearms and the back of his neck.

“Let me be an old man, tell you that the important thing is to trust the men beside you.”

Alex chuckled at that, looking sideways at the man next to him.

“How old  _ are _ you?” he asked, feeling bold with the strangeness of the moment.

“Too old to want to answer that question,” Zhukov laughed, sounding more amused and candid than he ever did during their lessons. Leaning back against the wall, he seemed much more relaxed. Above the collar of his shirt, the scar across his throat was pale. “But old enough to have worn a uniform with a red star instead of a flag. Old enough.”

Alex tried to count backwards, trying to remember exactly when the Soviet Union stopped being a thing. Zhukov kept speaking, his expression far away.

“Even an experienced, capable man can die, if he doesn’t have the backs of the men next to him.” He sketched a shape in the air, fingers crooked as if they were holding an invisible cigarette. “It matters, that you know what you can do. That you believe you can do it. If you start letting yourself think you will fail, then -” Zhukov snapped his fingers. His eyes met Alex’s, very serious and sad. 

“You’re a capable man.” His hand felt heavy on Alex’s shoulder. “Stop second guessing every move you make. Your partners are there to back you up. They’re good.”

“They’re better than me.”

“Work with them, stop trying to outdo them.”

Slowly, Alex nodded. He felt a little queasy that this terrifyingly experienced Russian soldier seemed to think he was in any way ready to do this. But also relieved, because that was a hell of a vote of confidence.

“You squirrels will pass.” Zhukov held a hand up, brushing off Alex’s protests. “Don’t bullshit me, we’ve known from the beginning. You’ll be pilot candidates, there will be more training, blah, blah, blah.” Squinting at Alex. “You ever fired a real gun?”

“A couple times? Alex shrugged. “We took some vacations in America. Shot clay pigeons a couple times.”

Zhukov chuckled at that, rising from the bench.

“But have you ever fired a grenade launcher?”

“No.” Alex shook his head.

“You squirrels will come with me, then.” He clapped his hands decisively. “I’ll show you the range where they test the jaegers.” Zhukov pronounced the German word with a little curl of his lip. 

“Seriously?” Alex blurted. Zhukov nodded, his face impassive once more.

“Tomorrow. I’ll see you at the gate if the weather is not shit.” He pointed towards the doors. Elated and shocked, Alex headed back to the locker room to grab his shoes. Trudging up to their room, he chewed on Zhukov’s words. He trusted Zhukov not to lie about something like their progress, and there was a fine glow of satisfaction to knowing Zhukov had not found him wanting.

_“Capable,”_ Alex whispered, rolling the word around in his mouth as he took the stairs two at a time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW material in this chapter

“Where have you been?” Chris asked when Alex pushed open the door. He was shirtless, wearing just a pair of trousers and rubbing at his damp hair with a towel.

“Zhukov,” Alex raised his hands, letting the door slam shut.

“ _Shit_ ,” Ross muttered from where he sprawled on the bed on his stomach.

“Everything okay?” asked Chris, the worried line back between his brows. “You were down there forever, it’s almost time to eat.”

“It’s fine, I just need a shower,” groaned Alex. “Just playing catch up.” Ross muttered something under his breath as he stood up from the bed.

“Well hurry with the shower.” Pushing his feet into his boots, Chris looked around for his shirt. “I’m not waiting for you, I’m starving.”

Ross grabbed Alex’s arm, pulling him towards their little bathroom.

“Going to help me wash?” snorted Alex. But he didn’t resist. He was genuinely too tired to be fussy about it.

“Well, I figured you might not be able to lift your arms after spending an extra hour with Zhukov.” Ross grinned at him, and flipped on the water.

“Ross!” called Chris. “Are you coming or not?”

“Go on, I’ll make sure he finishes in time to make the line,” Ross shouted over his shoulder.

Chris stuck his head in the bathroom, watching Alex bend over to unlace his boots.  

“Is that a ‘I’m going to make sure Smith makes it to dinner’ or a ‘I’m going to fuck Smith in the shower don’t save my seat’ go on?” He looked at Ross, raising his eyebrows, and then back at Alex.

“Get me an extra piece of cake if they have it,” Ross grinned. “Cake before fucking, you know me.”

“Twats,” Chris said affectionately. “Don’t be too long.” The door slammed behind him.

Alex stripped off his clothes, letting them fall on the floor. Ross scrunched his nose up, making a face at his untidy habits. What had been a minor, persistent annoyance when they shared a house was a full on crazy making ordeal for him now. More than once, he’d snapped at Alex about his habit of strewing his belongings across every flat surface. They were trying to work it out, but it was slow going.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“If I do that, we are going to miss dinner.”

Alex pouted, and made an exaggerated show of being too weary to lift his arms over his head as he stood under the spray.

“Mate, I am way too tired to fuck, come on.”

Ross sighed, already unbuckling his belt. It was so hard to resist the pleading, wistful look on Alex’s face. With pointed care, he folded his clothes and set them on the edge of the sink. He stepped into the shower, hair still damp from his earlier one.

“Oh god, I can already tell I’m going to have to crawl tomorrow,” Alex groaned. “I feel like the first week.” He twisted and stretched, water running down his back. Ross poured some of his carefully rationed shampoo into one hand. It smelled overwhelmingly like coconut. Missing cheap Sainsbury's shampoo was something he’d never thought about until this.

With immense fondness Ross lathered up Alex’s hair, taking the time to rub his fingers into Alex’s scalp and the back of his neck. Gently, he tipped Alex’s head back into the shower spray. The bubbles ran down the sides of his face, and Ross wiped them away.

“I’ll give you a back rub after dinner,” he offered.

“Should probably give Trott one, too.” Alex met Ross’ eyes. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“With what?”

“With that Tessier bitch, because _holy shit_ the other day…” Shaking his head slowly, Alex pulled Ross closer as he described the scene from a couple days prior. The steam of the shower fogged all the surfaces, and water dripped into Alex’s eyes.

“I know she puts him through hell over the video edits,” Ross frowned when he fell silent. “You think it’s because of… well, this?” He gestured with one hand, his other arm around Alex’s waist.

“I don’t know what else it would be. He made it sound like that was it.” Alex clasped his hands in the small of Ross’ back, savoring the feel of him pressed close from hip to shoulder. He didn’t get to do this nearly enough. There were times when he ached for the casual ease of being able to touch the other two, but the rigid, busy schedule they kept during the day hardly allowed for it. That wasn’t even factoring in the homophobia that was clearly present, if a bit subdued. It was still America, he reminded himself. It was still not always a pleasant place. Granted not even home was all the time, but they’d been so lucky in some ways.

“I’m worried about him, and whatever her deal is. We can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine.”

“He knows how to take care of himself.”

“He also keeps it to himself too long,” Alex countered. “He’s shit at asking for help, he was like that with the editing remember?”

“Yeah,” Ross sighed. “You’re right. But what do we do?”

They swayed together, rocking from foot to foot. Ross vaguely thought he should hustle Smith out of the water, but whatever this moment was seemed more important than dinner just now. The water splashed soothingly on Alex’s back, and Ross couldn’t help but press his fingers into the lines of his muscles.

“Just be more helpful, I guess. Make sure he sleeps, cause I know he’s sneaking out of bed in the morning.”

“Yeah, I woke up the other day and he was already on the computer,” Ross said. The casual attempts to keep Chris from staying up all night by dragging him to bed had only resulted in him sneaking time in the morning for his work.

“I’ll just start doing more of the edits of the raw footage,” Ross suggested.  

“He’s trying to protect us from her, I think.” Alex spoke slowly, watching Ross reach for the washcloth hanging on the little hook inside the shower. “I bet you anything that’s what’s happening. He thinks if he’s the only one who has to deal with her, it won’t be so bad.”

“And he gets the brunt of all her bad crazy,” Ross finished. “Shit. I knew she was weird, and he was vague about not wanting me to come to those meetings about the edits… _fuck_ , I should have known.”

Alex grabbed his hand, curled in a fist around the washcloth. His thumb rubbed over the back of Ross’ hand, over the bumps of his knuckles. Ross glared at the floor.

“I haven’t even paid enough attention to notice,” Alex admitted. “I’ve just let Trott do it all, because it was easier than arguing about it. It’s my fault too.” He felt ashamed of that.

Alex pried the washcloth loose from Ross’ fingers. Trying not to wince, he scrubbed himself clean of the sweat from training. Silently, Ross took the washcloth back, and scrubbed his back. The sensation was so pleasant after his afternoon that Alex leaned against the tiled wall and groaned with relief. It was over too soon, and he turned around to see Ross wringing the washcloth with far more force than necessary.

“What are we going to do?” Ross looked frustrated. “This isn’t right.”

“I don’t know yet,” answered Alex. “But first we are going to eat dinner, and then… we’ll just be better partners, somehow. We’ll think of something to do about Tessier.”

“Somehow.” Ross smiled, a wry twist to his expression. But his eyes were warm, and he leaned in to kiss Alex. Water dripped down both their faces. There was no heat to the kiss, no urgency or passion. It was just familiar, comforting, a wordless ‘I love you.’ They rested against each other, faces close.

“Why did Zhukov keep you late, anyways?” asked Ross, nuzzling his face into the side of Alex’s neck.

“Cause I’m shit at things, mate.”

“Shit at running,” Ross corrected. “Pretty good at hitting things. Less good at dodging.” He smacked Alex on the ass to prove his point.

“Oh fuck off,” laughed Alex, pushing back.

“But really, was there something?”  

“His idea of a pep talk is to make you basically run drills for an extra hour.”

“Pep talk?” Ross raised his eyebrows, watching Alex twist and rinse the soap off his body. Much of the softness had vanished, the little bit of chub to his stomach. Ross missed it really. As much as Alex had always complained, Ross had liked him exactly as he was.

“Just…” Lifting his hand, Alex gestured. “Just that I wish I was better at things. I thought I would be better at this.” Something loosened in his chest, some of the choking feeling that he’d gotten so used to he hardly knew it was there. Maybe Zhukov was right.

“They haven’t kicked us out yet,” said Ross, turning off the water. He looked at Alex’s face, the faint lines of worry visible. “You can come running with me, if that will make you feel better.”

“I don’t … maybe.” He caught the towel Ross tossed at him. They all sort of knew that was Ross’ time to be alone, to do whatever he needed to do in his head.

“So we need to improve your fighting skills, help Trott deal with this psycho woman, and then we can get around to fighting giant monsters?” Ross mused as he dried himself. His towel was still damp from the first shower. He frowned at the thought of laundry. Apparently he was going to be in laundry hell for the next couple weeks. At least that was something he could take off Chris’ plate.

“Yes, when you put it like that it seems so simple.” Alex rolled his eyes, and stepped out of the shower.

“Completely,” Ross said dryly. “Let’s get food first, I’m going to fall over if I don’t eat something and that won’t help anybody.”

 

* * *

It was starting to get late, and Ross cursed the idea that late now was before midnight instead of just before dawn. He yawned and rolled over on the bed, putting away the notebook he’d been reading. For a few minutes, he just watched Chris, headphones half on his head and frowning at the screen.

“Trott,” whined Ross. “Trott. Trott. _Trooottt_.”

“What?” Chris finally snapped, realizing if he didn’t acknowledge it that Ross might starting doing more obnoxious voices.

“Come here.”

“I need to-”

“It’s Saturday night,” interrupted Alex. “Leave it.” He was carefully putting away some of his stuff, trying to clean up the mess that sent Ross into a teeth grinding sulk.

“But…” Chris swiveled to frown at him.

“Come on.” Ross sat up on one elbow, and beckoned with his fingers.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to lure you to bed.”

“Fuck it,” Alex said, leaning over Chris to grab the mouse. He quickly saved the open file, and hit the start menu to shut down the machine.

“Hey!” Trott smacked his arm.

“I saved it!” Alex nearly shouted. “Calm down!”

“You know I have shit to do.”

“We’re all exhausted, mate, just come relax for a little while before we pass out.”

Chris slumped in the desk chair, grumbling under his breath. Alex was just starting to wonder if he’d need to pick him up and bodily carry him to bed when he stood up.

“Fine,” Chris sighed. “But I-”

Without thinking, Alex pulled him in for a kiss. Not the tired, familiar sort of kiss they had gotten used to after weeks of exhausting work. One a bit more hungry, one that called for Chris to follow Alex back to their not quite cozy bed to join Ross. He pulled back, catching his breath.

Chris stared up at him, lips parted on an unfinished word. Alex smiled at him, fingers tracing the line of his chin.

“Come to bed?” whispered Alex, and the invitation was overwhelming.

They tumbled into the bed, pushing Ross over to the side. Once Chris was settled, Ross’ arm around his shoulders, Alex dropped his head into Chris’ lap, stretching out on his back. His feet dangled off the edge of the bed, but it was fine. Chris’ hand flexed and combed through his hair.

Quiet, eyes half closed, Alex listened to Ross and Chris argue about what movie they wanted to see most. The local theater was tiny, only showing a handful things and most of the time didn’t seem worth the effort to get out there. There’d been some talk at dinner about the base showing movies on Saturdays, in one of the big auditoriums. Smith thought about cracking a joke about movie theater hand jobs, but couldn’t think of anything.

When Ross brought a hand up, turning Chris’ face, Alex opened his eyes fully. His fingers were spread over Chris’ cheek, pulling him close for a kiss. Ross opened Chris’ mouth with his own, kissing him slowly and thoroughly. Alex could tell the moment Chris started to kiss back by the way his fingers tightened almost painfully in Alex’s hair. He shifted onto his side to watch them better. Ross’ had slid to the back of Chris’ neck, pulling him forward as he deepened the kiss.

Alex thought he could watch them kiss all day long and never get tired of it. Ross’ hand drifted down Chris’ throat, rubbing over his chest. Chris’ fingers were still wound through his hair, so Alex stayed with his head resting on Chris’ thighs. He carefully slid one hand under Chris’ leg, the other resting on top so that his fingers just barely brushed the seam of his trousers.

Chris let go of his hair, reaching up to grab the front of Ross’ shirt. Alex moved so he could press his lips to the sliver of skin visible between the hem of Chris’ shirt and the waistband of his trousers. The choked little moan Alex heard in response made him grin. He tugged at Chris’ clothes.

“Guys,” breathed Chris, flushed and unsteady. He lifted his hips so Alex could pull off his trousers. They ended up at the foot of the bed, along with the rest of their clothes, all in one untidy pile. For a few seconds Alex stared at the clothes, then at Ross. He chucked them in the general direction of the laundry hamper.

Ross pulled Chris down onto the bed, pressing him back into the pillows. He wrapped his arms around Chris, kissing his shoulder.

“Let us, will you?” he murmured, lips moving against skin.

“But-”

“But nothing.” Ross kissed Chris again, pressing his lips to his temple. “We want to do something nice for you.” Smith murmured his agreement, settling on the other side of Chris.

“Fine,” Chris huffed. But there was fondness in his exasperation. Alex leaned forward and kissed his stomach, tongue tracing the line of hair down his belly.

“You can’t really tell me you don’t want him to suck you off,” Ross chuckled.

“I am pretty good at it,” Alex continued smugly, voice muffled as he rubbed his face against Chris’ hip. He brushed his fingers up the inside of Chris’ thigh, not quite touching.

“He is,” Ross agreed, and Alex looked up. They both grinned at Chris, and he couldn’t help but respond.

“I can’t remember, it’s been ages since I had a blowie,” he teased. He raised himself up on his elbows, and Ross shifted to nuzzle him. He pulled Chris closer, so he was half leaning on Ross.

“Let me remind you then.” Alex kissed his stomach again, and wrapped his fingers round the base of Chris’ cock. He glanced up in time to see Ross kissing Chris again, swallowing the rough moan Chris made at his touch. Ross glanced sideways at him, and Alex could see the crinkled lines at the corner of his eye as he smiled. He put one hand on the back of Alex’s head, urging him down.

Alex’s lips closed over the tip of Chris’ cock, already stiff in his hand. He licked the hot, delicate skin of his head, dragging his tongue over the slit and catching the bitter taste of precome. His fingers moved up, circling and squeezing. He swirled his tongue, trying to lick his way round as he took Chris into his mouth.

Chris placed his hand over Ross’ on the back of his head, fingers tangled into his hair. The quiet moans Chris made and the press of hands on his head encouraged Alex, sparked a sleepy sort of arousal in his stomach. Bracing himself on his elbow, Alex moved with a little more urgency. He could hear Chris moaning quietly, and the soft, encouraging sound of Ross’ voice.

“You are so…” Ross’ voice trailed off as he tried to think of a word that didn’t seem banal or trite. “Wonderful.” He bent his head forward to kiss Chris’ shoulder, drawing his hand up over Chris’ stomach to his chest.

Chris moaned, a quiet sound. He let his head fall back, eyes closed. Watching Alex’s head move over his lap was almost too much, especially when he pulled his mouth off to run his tongue all the way down Chris’ length to his balls. A shiver ran through him as Alex slipped a hand under him to squeeze his ass. Ross’ arms were an anchor, and Chris was glad for the warmth at his back.

“Oh Smith- Alex- I’m-” Chris gasped, the warmth of Alex’s mouth enveloping him again. He moved a little more quickly, taking Chris as deep as he could in quick strokes. Beneath the skin, he could feel the tell tale signs of Chris tensing. Alex desperately wanted to pull him over the edge, to hear his voice waver and break.

Ross tightened his grip on Chris, pressing their heads cheek to cheek. Chris’ other hand came up to grasp his wrist, fingers digging into the skin. He came undone with a soft cry, hips twitching up against Alex’s hand and mouth.

The sound of Chris’ whimper gave Alex a warm, satisfied feeling. He kept moving, stroking Chris through his orgasm as he swallowed the come filling his mouth.

“Oh, god.” Chris sagged into their arms, feeling boneless and wiped out. The shivery sensation of Alex’s lips leaving his skin, the sudden coolness of the air made him turn and half curl into Ross.

Raising his head, Alex scrunched his nose up and licked his lips. Ross snorted, amused by his vaguely offended expression.

“I always forget how weird that tastes,” Alex said in a low voice.

“Then why do you keeping doing it?” Ross asked, trying to keep a staid expression. The muscles in his stomach quivered with suppressed laughter.

“Cause you like it so much,” countered Alex, flipping him off. He wiped his hand off on Ross’ leg, earning himself an eye roll. Then Alex scooted up the bed, grabbing one of the blankets.

“Shut up,” muttered Chris from his spot, eyes closed. “Don’t ruin this for me.” He rubbed his face against Ross’ bare chest, the fine dark hairs tickling his nose.

“Do you…” asked Chris, trying not to yawn.

“In the morning,” Ross yawned. “I am too tired to enjoy it right now, and Smith probably is too.”

Alex laid his head on Chris’ shoulder, curling into his back and draping the blanket over them.

“Ross, go turn off the light.”

“Why do I have to get up?” sighed Ross.

“Cause I did all the hard work of getting Trott off, least you can do it hit the lights.”

“Ross if you just do it, he’ll shut the fuck up already,” Chris groused.

Groaning in protest, Ross slid out from under Chris. He tossed boxer briefs at them, knowing that was likely to be Alex’s next request. Padding naked across the room, he hit the inconveniently placed light switch. There was a moment where he blinked in the sudden blackness. Gradually, the gloom lightened with the glow from the window.

“Now come back,” came Alex’s voice. Ross sighed dramatically as he picked his way carefully back, avoiding the boots and clothes on the floor.

“Stop telling me to do things, you know I don’t like to do things.” He sank back down to the bed, bumping into Alex with his knees and elbows as he tried to clear some space for himself. Ross flung an arm over Chris, reaching for Alex in the dark. He brushed his lips over Chris’ hair, listening to his sleepy, incoherent murmur.

“We love you,” whispered Alex, his breath stirring the hair at the nape of Chris’ neck. Ross squeezed his arm, and they laid there together in a tangle. Alex listened to Chris’ heartbeat, steady and regular, and the fainter sound of his breathing as he fell asleep.

“Smith,” Ross whispered, wondering if the other man was still awake. The faint light from the window left blue shadows everywhere.

“Yeah?” Alex’s voice was rough with exhaustion. But he slid up to rest his head closer to Ross’ face. Between them, Chris rolled over and pillowed his head on Ross’ chest.

“I’m glad we’re here together,” Ross said after a minute.

“Yeah, I know.” Alex kissed him softly, lips brushing over his cheek and the corner of Ross’ mouth. “Me too.”


End file.
